Fraggle Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Intrigued, as if she wants to turn back time all of a sudden... I know I would go just to see what it was all about, but go with eyes wide open.... Sounds like the proverbial has hit the fan and she's scurrying back or lying or on the rebound. Go with caution, sounds like an "interesting" minefield... Link to comment
musiclover Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 Well we split because she lost her job and started to emotionally go down hill. I tried to do everything to support her, but eventually she started to resent me for it. Eventually it felt like there was nothing left I could do and really I stopped paying attention knowing full well that the break up was on its way. There was no cheating or harsh things said or anything of that nature. She was going through her stuff and I had a bunch of * * * * on my plate at the same time. We just stopped trying I guess. We never treated each other too poorly though. Even to this day we speak extremely highly of each other. I am going to go tonight for 2 reasons. 1) if I didn't go, I'd regret it and play the "what if" game for the rest of my life. 2) I'm just naturally curious. But I'm going in knowing full well exactly what I've gone through to get here. I've fought tooth and nail to get my heart and head aligned again after all this and my confidence is off the charts right now. My business just got its investment money to expand, my album is almost done and (not to sound cocky), but my allure to the opposite sex has been more than apparent in resent days. Don't worry about me... Still though, I need to know. Link to comment
musiclover Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 sounds like an "interesting" minefield... Fantastic interpretation! I'm actually going to use that as a lyric. Link to comment
Fraggle Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Of some use! I'll only take small royalty for being a creative director.... Good luck, sounds a lot like how my BU ended up, lack of trying and a lot of sh*t on my plate and she couldn't handle it... Bon chance Link to comment
sunflowergirl0 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Go but don't go in her apartment. If you'll go you'll two have sex. I am almost sure this would happen. So if you don't want that then don't go to her apartment. Link to comment
Heidern Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 What did she do that was so crappy - you said some personal things got in the way but did she cheat, was she abusive, took advantage of you. I am not clear why people are saying she treated you badly. Got engaged to another man, told him about it, waited for his reaction then started crying because she still loves him. Sounds like a crappy game to me. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Well, it sounds like something that could be salvaged. Seems more like bad timing and poor conflict resolution on both your parts. To me, that's fixable. However, she did get engaged rather quickly which screams poor decision-making based on impulse. This recent request shows that impulsive nature once again. Honestly, I would go too because I have a curious streak in me as well. You seem to be going with your eyes wide open, so I'm sure you'll manage things just fine. Link to comment
One day Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Musiclover yes I think you should go, as you said what ifs would plague you if you didn't. It's a situation so many of us here dream of but never will see. I wish you good luck mate and hope something good comes of it. Link to comment
DN Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 If she is, at heart, a bad person and not someone who has simply made bad choices, then don't go. But if it is the other way around then perhaps she may deserve a chance. As you say, better to go and not wonder 'what if?" Link to comment
Furbys Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 If you do meet her then go somewhere different, not somewhere where you spent time together as a couple. Link to comment
tothecoast Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Guard your heart, don't be too vulnerable, have fun, and let us know how it goes! We're rooting for you, dude. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 You have decided to go ... so good luck. Be ware of the word rebound - it is a powerful aphrodisiac. Link to comment
musiclover Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Well to those who have followed this topic, I do have an update... I met her on Saturday night and it was interesting to say the least. She wanted to tell me that she called off the engagement. Her reason? Me. She told me all about the past year and a half without me. Every guy she's seen since we split up she broke up with because the passion wasn't there. She thought it was just the people she was dating. She said finally realized what was missing when she was doing preparations for the wedding. She told me that every time she'd see a hall or a wedding dress, she could only picture me and not her fiancee. She told me how horrible its been without me in her life. How sorry she was for hurting me as badly as she did. She cried... a LOT. All I could do was sit with her and listen. I was completely silent, not knowing what to say at all. Finally she told me that in her heart she knows she never stopped loving me. That she knew how crazy it sounded and that she wish it would stop at times, but she knew she couldn't lie to herself anymore. And that was it. She didn't ask to try again, she didn't want a one night fling. All she wanted was for me to know how she felt about everything and that no matter what she realizes I'm the one she will always love. I could see in her face that it was all true. This wasn't a game, or a ploy or some type of manipulation. She was completely open and honest, filled with what seemed like shame and guilt. The way she was speaking seemed like she was ready for me to explode or laugh or walk away. Like she had done the worst thing she could have possibly done and was prepared to take the consequences. Well let me tell you friends, I was confused and shocked. I think every single emotion you could possibly have, I had in that moment. I didn't know if I should really explode and let her have it or just laugh and walk away. I could have done a lot of things. So what did I do? I picked her up off the bench she was sitting on. pulled her chin up to make sure she was looking me dead in the eye and without a word kissed her. And I mean KISSED her, straight old school Hollywood romance movie style. I'd love to tell you that we then rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after, but that would be a little premature of me. I'm not jumping back into any kind of commitment with her until I really feel like I can trust her again. I told her that what she told me doesn't change the past and that when it comes to a relationship between the two of us, there is a BIG pink elephant in the room (aka we have a LOT to talk about before that happens). But that doesn't change the fact that we still have so much love for each other. I told her we are going to take this beyond slowly. No commitment, no expectations and no obligations yet. If we are going to do this, it has to go back to the very basics of just the two of us spending time together and enjoying each others company. That I'm not agreeing to anything just yet, but that I am far from saying no. And that's pretty much where the story comes to an end. It was truly the moment you wish for after a break up. And as amazing as it is, I'm not jumping for joy just yet. I don't believe that this is just some scam or rebound, but I have to be 100% sure before I give her my all again. But for her, I'm willing to try. Wish me luck... Cheers Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Awww this is beautiful, I've gone all gooey inside! I really hope it works out for you guys, take it real slow though! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I don't think you want advice so I will not give much of it. Of course, be ware of the rebound aphrodiasiac, but I do hope it works out for you. Good luck. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I think that was a sincere, genuine, loving moment. What you guys do from here on out is the hardest part. I really do hope you guys can work things out. If there is still real, genuine love between you two, then I see no point in staying apart. I really wish you guys the best and I hope it all goes well. Please keep us updated!!! Link to comment
One day Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I wish you all the best mate, what a beautiful evening. Hope everything works out. Link to comment
2bcome1 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Man you played a blinder there,great stuff. Said all the right things to make her work for it. Good luck,i hope you both ride off into the sunset together. Link to comment
DN Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Good luck - I hope this works out for you. Please keep us posted. Link to comment
Fraggle Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Good, glad you went and that you transversed the "minefield" successfully, I wish you the best of luck. Keep those eyes open to any wavering from her if you do try again... I hope it does work out and just take it slowly you are now the one with the reins this time and you can control the pace. She is at your mercy and take your time, feel your way back in tot the relationship. I hope it works out for you and I bet your are glad you went... sounds truly romantic and hopefully her really really meant what she said, it does sound like she knows what she wants after getting engaged!? I hope you know what you want too... Some positive new Link to comment
Gabrielle84 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Oh God here's another one who went all gooey inside when reading this made my day better!!! You dont usually read happy stories on this forum haha I'm really glad for you. I also dont see any reason for you guys to stay apart now, but like you said, take it slow somehow, dont put your guard all the way down, and sort of make her work for it, she needs to earn your trust back again. All in all, she seemed sincere... and that's life! It happens, we all make bad choices and can hurt others in the process, there's no need to crucify people for their mistakes, especially if you still love them. Hopefully, in time, you will be able to evaluate whether she learned and truly knows what she wants. We'll be rooting for you! Best of luck and keep us updated Link to comment
OneSadPuppy Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Don't eat the yellow snow. Good luck! OSP Link to comment
mpeer Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Aww....good luck to you. We are all rooting for your success in finding happiness again. Oh and it is a bonus that you have the opportunity to find it with someone you loved. Link to comment
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