musiclover

We were best friends for years before we started dating. I loved you with all my heart and I know you did too. I thought it was a mistake when we broke up because I saw in your eyes that you still loved me. But you needed to find yourself again and I respected that. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. Over the course of this past year I've watched you bounce and not stand still for one second. You have no idea what you are doing, but I know you can if you just took the time to stop for a minute. I would have always been there for you even when you would play your "power" game. Every time you mentioned that you had done this or that, that you knew perfectly well would hurt me, I never gave you the satisfaction. I just kept on smiling because I could see in your eyes you still loved me. I don't understand why you would do it though? was it because I never proposed? Is it the fact that I was the one guy that you couldn't completely control? Is that why you want me to hurt? In some bizarre way, was it because you knew underneath it all that I was your equal? I have so many questions about this, but I know I'll never have the answers. But this time you've gone too far love. You played your ultimate trump card when you said "yes" to him. It didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought would, but you were right when you said, "I've never seen you so strong". I am strong now. Probably stronger than most. I know you're not going to marry him. I doubt it will even get to the ceremony. You're doing it for all the wrong reasons. And you wouldn't have broken down in tears when I told you that your decision was putting a permanent end on us. You got engaged a week ago? Then why are you balling your eyes out and telling me how much you still love me? Why are you continually telling me that you wish it were me? You broke up with me, remember? You've made all the decision to get yourself here. And to answer your question, no. We can't make it work in another life. We could have made it work in this life, but you have no idea what you are doing. I honestly feel bad for you now because when you're over this one, I know you'll want to come back. I know you need me in your life. And I know I will always own your heart. But I can't this time. As much as I still care, I'm tired of you trying to continually break my heart. I know you don't know any better. And I would have waited for you to learn. But you've made a commitment now that can never be taken back. And its not the engagement itself, from what you told me your reasons for saying yes, I know its not going to last. I know I'll hear from you in a few months. It's because you put me in second place. And you know I'll never settle for that. Even if it was a mistake. I could be wrong, but lets be honest, I know you better than you know yourself. I do hope you can find the happiness you are looking for someday. I hope you don't let this go too far to not be able to get out of it. You and I both know you'll end up regretting it. But I was serious when I said our story is over. Even when you do contact me, I can' be there for you anymore. This time I have to do what's best for me and not for us. this time I have to be the one that is selfish. And as much as it is hurts, I know this is the right thing to do. Goodbye my love. You'll always be my girl with the baby blues.