zmanks Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Hi, My new girlfriend and I have been talking about having sex for the first time in our relationship. She's a virgin and being cautious wanted me to get a STD test beforehand. It's been a couple years since i've had one and wanted to get it also. So I got a call this afternoon from my doctor and they told me I had chlamydia. I guess i've had it for at least 2 years and had no idea. So next Tuesday I'm going to get the shot and treatment. Should I even tell her that I have it since its easily curable and just wait a couple more weeks to have sex? We've only fooled around with no intercourse and I don't want her to freak about me having it or thinking that she has it also. It's a tough call for me so I was wondering what someone elses opinions were. Thanks Link to comment
camus154 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Does "fooling around" include oral sex? Link to comment
amipushy Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Chlamydia can cause infertility in women. Tell her. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 No don't tell her, and yes wait a couple of weeks until your cured. No point freaking the poor girl out, it might scar her for life! Link to comment
Gabrielle84 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Well ask your doctor if there's a possibility chlamydia can be transmitted through oral sex or any other "non-intercourse" sexual activity. if there's a possibility, you should tell her so she can get tested. If not, then yeah just wait a couple of weeks until your doctor confirms it's safe. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 No don't tell her, and yes wait a couple of weeks until your cured. No point freaking the poor girl out, it might scar her for life! If that'll scar her life, you can just imagine how much MORE scarred, when she gets tested and sees he's given her chlamydia.Surprise! OP, you need to tell her. This is bigger than you. This is about her HEALTH. She deserves to know, especially since its curable. Link to comment
manu85 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that you are 100% cured before you have sex with her. As a previous poster mentioned, chlamydia can cause infertility in women (not in men), without symptoms in 75% of the cases. So your girlfriend probably would never know she is infected if you were not to tell her, but only years from now could possibly find out she is infirtile and left wondering how and when that happened. There is a chance that she is already infected, too, through oral sex (yes, chlamydia can be transmitted through oral sex too). So here's what you have to do: Take your meds and wait 1 more week after finishing the meds before having sex. Tell her that you have it and that she might have it too (if she gave you oral). There's only a small chance, but SHE HAS TO HAVE A CHECK-UP (which means a vaginal swab or urine test) with your doctor to exclude that she has it. Don't worry, if you guys do this now, there's not going to be any negative consequence. But make sure she goes to the doctor to get tested. Good luck. Link to comment
zmanks Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 We have not had oral sex. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 If that'll scar her life, you can just imagine how much MORE scarred she'll be when she finds out he's given her chlamydia. Surprise! OP, you need to tell her. She deserves to know, especially since its curable. Why tell her? And scare her the bejeesus out of her? for what? They havn't even done anything, and he can be cured. Since they are not having sex, his chlamydia problem isn't hers. Link to comment
manu85 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Okay, if there hasn't been any anal, vaginal or oral sex you seem to be safe. Ask your doctor to make sure. Then all you have to do is take your meds and ask your doctor when you get the green light for having sex. Telling her now won't be necessary then, as you might scare her off for no reason. Link to comment
amipushy Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Contact the woman/women you last had sex with. They may have it too and are at risk of becoming infertile. Awkward as it may be, this may be very serious situation for them. Link to comment
zmanks Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 The only thing we've done is rub my penis on her backside for a few minutes. I find it highly unlikely that she can get it from that. Link to comment
zmanks Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 Oh I let the last couple women know that was pretty much the first thing I did when I got home. Link to comment
manu85 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Ask your doctor. If during those few minutes you haven't been to or close to her vagina or anus, the risk is probably close to zero. As the previous poster mentioned: contact the last women you had sex with. One of them (at least) has chlamydia, and you might indeed save them from a whole lot of trouble later on. Awkward, but worth it. Link to comment
amipushy Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Oh I let the last couple women know that was pretty much the first thing I did when I got home. Well done. So glad to hear it. Link to comment
manu85 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Oh I let the last couple women know that was pretty much the first thing I did when I got home. Great. Good on you. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I would do both - TELL her you have been diagnosed, tell her what the treatment is and how long it may take, and WAIT until not only you THINK you are cured, but when the doctor rechecks you and gives you the green light, and THEN wait a little while. Don't silently get treatment and not tell her just in case it isn't totally licked. Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 What happens in a year if she finds out you had it and cured it but didn't tell her? After all, she was the one who asked if you would get the test. What are you going to say if she asks you what the test results were? Will you lie to her? Link to comment
camus154 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 What happens in a year if she finds out you had it and cured it but didn't tell her? After all, she was the one who asked if you would get the test. What are you going to say if she asks you what the test results were? Will you lie to her? That's a good point. If you did this on your own and found out, I'd say take care of it and not say a word. That's not the case here, so I think it's better to just be honest and play it safe. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Oh I let the last couple women know that was pretty much the first thing I did when I got home. She deserves just as much if not more consideration... Link to comment
zmanks Posted May 31, 2012 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 That is a good point. I have no desire or intention of lying to her. I guess if she really cares she'll appreciate my honesty. Link to comment
SicFounder Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 YES! You should tell ANYONE you have sexual relations with (are are planning on having) before you even get there. NO EXCEPTIONS Link to comment
shadowplay Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 Yes, definitely tell her - honesty is the best way forward. Good luck. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 Glad to see you were open to everybody's advice and that you chose honesty - well done on being so responsible, that's rare these days! Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 "Should I tell my girlfriend>?" YES!!! Link to comment
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