Who should invite each other home first? A man or a woman?

[PrettyGood]

A man and a woman are in their 30'ies and living on their own while dating each other.

Question: who should invite each other to home visit first?

 

- A girl should invite a man to her house?

- A man should invite a girl to his house?

 

I mean the situation is a little bit awkward. Which is less dangerous to send wrong signals about linking to 'sex'?

[Sukiyaki]

I think either or or can send the wrong signal about sex and I suppose whoever's riding with who or whomever takes who home first. No one plans things like that =/

[Daisy11]

Well if you're out together and you decide to go to one person's home in the same vehicle like at the end of the date I would assume the intention is sexual. However, if you want to have an "at home date" with dinner then sex may not be implied. Especially if it is nice weather at this time of the year where you live (as it is in Illinois where I am), you could have the first home invite to cook-out on the grill and have a drink outside on the patio which then avoids all scenarios where being too close to the bedroom could create moving too fast.

 

If the first time at home together involves watching a movie or sitting on the couch together usually physical contact is involved and things can lead from one thing to another more quickly. It's all in how it is handled.

 

As far as who should be the first to ask, I'm not sure that it matters. I think it depends on how many dates you've been on and how comfortable you are feeling with each other. Inviting someone you are still getting to know to your home which is a very private part of your life can be awkward if done too soon.

[Batya33]

I think it's about geography/location but it reminds me of when my husband asked me to get back together. We went to the theater on a platonic date (that was my impression) and the theater was near my place so I had planned to invite him over after and cleaned, bought dessert, etc. After the show he invited me back to his place even though it was further away because he had planned to broach the subject of getting back together and had prepared dessert and drinks for us at his place. I thought that was sweet. Whenever a new person I was dating and I planned to spend time privately I almost always had a short talk about my boundaries beforehand - as short as "I'm really looking forward to seeing your place but I'm not ready to be intimate yet, ok?"

[jimmyh]

I don't really know the answer to this. I invited first, and I got refused. Then, I got invited and I accepted. So, it looks like the women wanted to have control over this.

[RedDress]

I prefer if the man comes over to my place first.

 

Why? Well, maybe it's silly, but I feel safer. I know my place. I know my surroundings. I know my neighbors if something goes terribly, terribly wrong. I know there isn't rope and duct tape out ready to be tied up and killed. LOL!

 

I'm not sure if it IS safer... but it FEELS safer to me - so for me, it's a better first step.

 

If you are worried about it leading to sex, though (or that impression) - any empty room will give that impression when you are first dating. LOL! Just spell out your intentions and it's fine.

[pinkelephant]

I don't think there's a hard and fast rule, although be aware of the message it sends. It's always good to have a talk before hand, even in a joking manner so you don't end up being a tease.

 

 

 

Edit:

I just thought of something. If it's your place, you can control which ROOM you go into -- which could help define boundaries. If he invites you in his bedroom to look at whatever, if you look uncomfortable and don't sit on his bed, then chances are, he'll catch on. But if you're at your place, you can just not invite him into your bedroom all together (or sit far away on the couch in the living room), etc.. sooo maybe if you're not interested in sex, you could definitely use your place as a way to set boundaries.

[CRCfem]

Depends on hte guy. I tended to invite them at my place ( only a couple haha!!!) just the ones I felt were decent to even just keep in touch as friends if things do;t work out. I think the key is to have boundaries in the dating so they know that the link between 'i see your house=> means i want sex' is not on!! In dating time, my now hubby came to my place like 2 weeks into dating, for movies and pizza- cos I could tell he's not the type to jump to conclusions.

[Natasha24]

I have invited guys to my place. Just be clear about WHY you're going there.

 

If the date is ending and you just blurt out "Want to go back to my place?", he's probably going to assume sex.

 

But if you talk to him a few days before you plan on seeing him and saying something like "Want to hang out at my place and watch a movie before we go to dinner? No funny business, just a chance to spend time in private", he should understand.