What are 3 reasons why someone is in the FRIENDZONE?

[Dougie_D]

Girls, I assuming there are specific reasons why you put someone in the friendzone.

 

What would be your reasons?

 

Thanks!

[annie24]

1. Not attracted to them.

2. We have vastly different lifestyles/goals.

3. Bad breath.

[Moontiger]

1. Can't see myself with them physically

2. Don't connect on a mental level the way I would with someone I date

3. We differ on some issues/belief that's important to me.

[gluestick]

1) biggest reason is I'm not physically attracted to them - which means they get friendzoned right off the bat

2) different values/goals

3) N/A

[Huntress0527]

1. Not attracted physically

2. Different values/ qualities

3. Bad hygiene

[browneyedgirl36]

1) Not physically attracted to them (could be because of hygiene/grooming issues, but it may just be lack of physical chemistry in general). If a guy has other qualities that I really, really like, though, that will make him a lot more attractive and I would be inclined to give him a chance.

2) Some significant incompatibility that is non-negotiable for me -- i.e. uses drugs (even casually), is unmotivated/lazy, can't -- or won't -- hold down a job, etc.

3) Significant difference in morals/values

 

BONUS: #4 -- No sense of humor (I think this should actually be #1 on the list!)

[EQIQ]

Being way too damn "nice" = get yourself friendzoned

[SuperDuper]

[EDIT] Just realized you asked girls... But if anybody's interested, read on:

 

 

A similar question could be "name 3 things that you like about a potential mate" ... if you don't meet those requirements you'll likely be friend-zoned or no-zoned!

 

Anyway, for me... 3 things that will land you in the friend zone:

 

1) Not physically attracted (seems fairly obvious) and therefore no sexual tension/energy

2) Dependent/mentally unstable... or girls that lack clarity and thus lack self-esteem due to past relationship failures

3) Girls that are too easy and promiscuous, sure I'll fool around with you but we won't be dating any time soon ------>>> So outlook/lifestyle differences

[-Sanguine-]

Pretty much the same as all the above..

- not attracted physically

- different values/goals

- nothing in common

[UglyAsian]

Lol, and they say girls are not equally as shallow as men...

[femaleanomaly]

I think my reasons are the same as the above:

 

1) Not physically attracted to them.

2) There is simply no chemistry between us.

3) Difference in morals/values.

[Huntress0527]

Lol, and they say girls are not equally as shallow as men...

 

It's not about being shallow. You have to be physically attracted to your mate. Shallow would be if being physically attractive was the ONLY thing you care about.

[fundate]

Lol, and they say girls are not equally as shallow as men...

 

None of them said they only want hot guys. Everyone has a physical attraction test and if you don't pass it then you are out.

[Timebandit]

Guy not being honest about his interest, i.e. being completely nice and non-sexual towards her.

[UglyAsian]

None of them said they only want hot guys. Everyone has a physical attraction test and if you don't pass it then you are out.

 

Hot = Attractiveness. The more attractive the more hot. So, it would be a contradiction if they wanted someone that they weren't attracted to/found hot.

[femaleanomaly]

Of course women want a guy they find physically attractive. Does that mean that they are being shallow? Absolutely not! Being shallow would be saying that the only important thing about a man is what he looks like. That is absolutely not true. However, there are always going to be dealbreakers. Those dealbreakers will exist in terms of physical attraction or otherwise.

[browneyedgirl36]

Nope -- hot does NOT necessarily equal attractiveness. Or, I should say, "attractiveness does not equal hot."

 

I've dated guys who no one else would ever have found "hot." I was still attracted to them, though, because attraction is subjective. To me, they were very attractive because I really liked them, and people's tastes are individual and subjective.

 

A guy does not have to be "hot" in the conventional sense to be attractive -- at least not to me. In fact, I'm scared of guys that others classify as "hot."

[RitaTrue]

1. ZERO physical attraction

2. Overly comfortable with them---which lets me treat them like a girl friend, instead of a guy

3. Too nice, too accomodating, too soon. (being nice is good, but dont be so nice that you lose your edge)

[Miss Firecracker]

Seeing a man you aren't physically attracted to would be cruel. Not fair to him because you couldn't have sex with him if you were gagging at the sight of him.

[tiredofvampires]

Seeing a man you aren't physically attracted to would be cruel.

 

My longest relationship was like this. This was many years ago (it started in my 20's). I would never do it again. It's not fair to him...or to me.

 

But I stop short of the word "cruel." I felt damaged, and I thought he was the only man who would love me. I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn't "warm up to his looks" or look past the fact that "physical attraction isn't everything." I kept thinking he would grow on me more with time, and it was my fault for not being more attracted to him, because he loved me.

 

So I was confused. And acting on some very deep-seated pains and fears. I tried to give what I could to that relationship, feeling guilty the whole time about my lack of lustful feelings. In the end, we broke up for other reasons...and I daresay, those other reasons (his personality issues) may have in fact made it so that I never did warm up to him, sexually. Because there are men I wasn't attracted to at first, continued to see, and then fell in love AND lust.

 

Anyway, to answer the OP:

 

1. Lack of feeling that we're on the same wavelength (interests, values, idea of fun)

2. Not feeling any sort of excitement and intrigue in our conversations

3. Feeling physically turned OFF (I'm not just talking about not having an instant attraction, I'm talking about actually feeling repelled)

[wendy48]

Lol, and they say girls are not equally as shallow as men...

 

How is it shallow for someone, man or woman, to decline a romantic/sexual relationship with someone they are not sexually attracted to? Kind of a no brainer.

[poetryandlyrics]

1. Attractive. And I use that word loosely to mean both physically and mentally.

2. Different values/goals/lifestyle. Could also mean nothing in common as well.

3. No sense of humor.

 

I'd like to add if the guy seems unstable, low self-esteem than I can handle, and blahblah, that's another reason. Everyone has baggage but they shouldn't be way too much for me to handle.

[Alezia]

1) Not physically attracted to them (could be because of hygiene/grooming issues, but it may just be lack of physical chemistry in general). If a guy has other qualities that I really, really like, though, that will make him a lot more attractive and I would be inclined to give him a chance.

2) Some significant incompatibility that is non-negotiable for me -- i.e. uses drugs (even casually), is unmotivated/lazy, can't -- or won't -- hold down a job, etc.

3) Significant difference in morals/values

 

BONUS: #4 -- No sense of humor (I think this should actually be #1 on the list!)

 

I will totally agree with this, including the #4 bonus.

[laura40]

1. Not attracted to him physically or mentally.

2. No sense of humour or is serious all the time.

3. Doesn't have a job (but only if he is not looking).. I'd date a guy if he was unemployed as long as he was searching for a job though.

[Moontiger]

Hot = Attractiveness. The more attractive the more hot. So, it would be a contradiction if they wanted someone that they weren't attracted to/found hot.

 

I am VERY attracted to my BF, he is skinny as a bean pole, with a beard he rarely keeps trimmed, he wears a god-awful baseball hat that I think needs to be burned, he has acne scares from when he was a teenager, and I could go on.

 

The point is, he is not the 6'3", complete tone, tan, with perfectly styled hair, and chiseled chine guy. He is attractive to me but "Hot" generally (for me and my friends atleast) is used to talk about a guy who looks good but likely as little else going for him.