Breaking through my addictions...

[tabbyloves]

I have so many i want to get rid of, so hopefully this'll help me to keep my head screwed on properly.

I failed miserably last night.....there's this websie (kinda like facebook, but its not) and its where i talk to all my oversea's friends and the ones that live in the same state but miles away. Its called Polyvore. And over time, i got addicted, and its really ruining what i've started to get better. I have major soacilizing issues and other ones that i want to conquer but its standing in my way.

I also want to get rid of my self harming addiction i have going on....it needs to go aswell.

Hopefully with coming on here everyday and journaling, instead of doing those things, I'm hoping my need for them will just go, with time of course.

[90_hour_sleep]

addictions are always manageable. just takes a shift in perspective.

 

change the way you look at things...and the things you look at change...

[tabbyloves]

Day 1

 

Today has been soooo hard. A couple of days a go, my gf had a miscarriage, and its been really difficult for the both of us. No she did not plan on getting pregnant in the first place but some a**hole raped her. I haven't eaten in days because things have been so depressing and hard. I was so close to giving in to temption to cut tonight....I only wanted to leave just a mark but i knew if i started, i'd end up killing myself. I'm, just so lost for words. We both had already bought baby stuff for the twins.... I knew how much she was looking forward to this despite how it happened. You know, at the same time, I wanna kill the bastard but i don't. He's got a kid and that kid is bestfriends with my gf....kind of in a pickle, but I've moved on from it...but this whole new situation, i just don't know if we'll ever be able to get over it. I know we have to, but its so hard. its like the whole world is coming crashing down around us. I just wish it were easy to move on from this.