I don't know what to do.

[tabbyloves]

so most of ya'll know i was sexually assaulted when i was 6, nine years ago by my older brother. didn't come to term with it till earlier this year and haven't taken it that well.

 

yeah well, he decided he wanted to do it again, and he did last night while i was sleeping. i woke up during it, in quite alot of pain..

I'm so angry that i let it happen! again but yet, i'm hurt that he would even do it again after all these years to his younger sister.

I'm so confused, i don'r know what to do.

I feel like i should just die.

 

Anything helpful or supportive would be good.

[regular joe]

You need to report him and get some help for yourself.

[tabbyloves]

You need to report him and get some help for yourself.

 

just a slight problem. Nothing, and i mean NOTHING comes out of my mouth. usually everything is always initiated online. yeah i know there are ways around that, but honestly, not even if i tried at my hardest, it would never happen.

[equinox]

I agree with Joe. You need to bring this to the attention of someone with the power to act. For all you know, this guy could be abusing other girls too.

[pippy longstocking]

tabby you said this a few weeks ago about your brother , so you need to get this reported .

This is twice you have said this and only you can stop this .

[tabbyloves]

tabby you said this a few weeks ago about your brother , so you need to get this reported .

This is twice you have said this and only you can stop this .

 

you know, its easier said then done. I can't, just go out there and report him, its not even physically possible for me to even do! I'm only 15 and you expect me to get help when i've been basically anti-social my whole life having no expierence with this?

[pippy longstocking]

I posted you a link ages ago that would take you to a site that deals with this , that deals with your age group

and where there are adults that can help ... that is online

 

there are loads of places online that can help you , put you in touch with people in your area in oz , and talk to you.

[CaptainConfusion]

Your brother needs help, so do you. Seek help. Y

[TheLoneliest]

you know, its easier said then done. I can't, just go out there and report him, its not even physically possible for me to even do! I'm only 15 and you expect me to get help when i've been basically anti-social my whole life having no expierence with this?

 

Hey Tabby. I know what you're going through. I was molested for a whole year. It's very difficult to report him and have people to believe you. I want you to know that this will take a huge courage on your behalf to get this done. This is not just for yourself, but for every other girl that will be if not already raped by your brother. Other people, especially people around you, might doubt you, but you have to be very very strong. Do you have a teacher you can trust? Go to that teacher and tell him/her the whole thing. You have to be brave. I know you're only 15 years old, but you know what, you're an independent woman now. You may be young, but you need to grow up faster than most girls. This situation is very dangerous if not stopped. If you have no teacher to trust, then you have to go to the police, but that will be harder as your parents might think you're lying. Again, you have to be strong. I had to be strong and I lost a lot of my buddies, and I'm a guy. I hope this helps because I really feel your pain.

[lucymae143]

Take this from someone who has been assaulted by a family member, it will only get better once you report it and it stops... You need to call the police and report it.. Talking about it on an online forum isn't going to fix this!!! You can't say that it's easier said than done, because it's just as easy to REPORT IT!!!!! It takes one phone call. If you can get on here and talk about it, why can you not talk to the police or a teacher or a counselor. All you are doing by keeping quite is enabling him... How would it make you feel if he went out and raped someone, and you knew you could have stopped it by reporting him? I don't mean to sound mean or harsh, but this is a serious situation. If you choose to stay quite, you are basically saying its ok for him to do it, and it's not.

[behind mirrors]

I know you are scared, confused and hurt and you feel like the only way out from this is just to kill yourself. I have been there, I was raped at age 5 and my first reaction was to kill myself right after, luckily I just killed a cat instead.

Unfortunately just staying alive "surviving" all those pains and suffering wasn t enough, because nobody can survive and stay really healthy after such pain, now I know I should have done something, tell someone and if I would have ask for help now I know I could have prevented lots of mistakes in my life, like further rapes.

Trust me I know it s hard but you got to tell someone, tell somebody an adult person you trust, if you trust nobody from your family seek help from somebody else, but please just don t stay silent, don t bear more suffering, fight for your life, fight for your sanity, happiness, health. Don t protect your brother, yes he needs help, but you also need help and never pay for somebody s else sickness, never protect anybody who ever hurt you, because nobody has a right to hurt you! Never forget that! You have to tell to somebody, you have to be strong and fight for your life there is no other solution, because at the end you will just get into more trouble. Yet, if you choose to stop this there is always a way out, you will be helped and your brother also will be helped! You are young and have a wonderful life ahead if you choose so, so please don t waste it, tell somebody who can help you! There is no other solution!

[tabbyloves]

You have no idea, how hard it is for me to report him. Its not easy. its fckin hard. I've been anti-social my whole friggin life, and yet i don't even think i've soacilized once by myself. so you think a phone call to the police is going to be easy for me? take another guess, because its not. I've already had encounters with the police before, and i froze, i literally froze. Mum knows how hard this is for me because she went through the exact same thing (the anti-social thing). but i can't tell her what happened, for one simple reason....she won't believe me. oh and btw, talking about it on an online forum helps. it helps me to not bottle it up. and when i bottle things up, i expload and resort to self harm, so if you don't mind, this is basically my only resource to getting things out and not having to resort to self harm.

[tabbyloves]

I can't trust anybody except my girlfriend, but she lives in Alabama....I trusted an online counselor once, and they broke my trust... I'm still a kid, I'm not an independent woman...I have never soacilized in my whole entire life. I don't even know how to soacilize. If i can't soacilize, i can't report him. I didn't wish to have a problem soacilizing but i do and i don't know how to work with it. My parents have never ever believed me and i don't think they ever will. I can't be strong. If i try, sh*ts gonna hit the fan.

[behind mirrors]

I can understand that you feel helpless now, but your age is never an excuse to let yourself hurt. I also understand this problem of yours not being able to socialize, still, maybe if you pull yourself together and try you will see that you are capable of doing it, look at you, it seems like you are doing fine expressing yourself on this site, all you need to do is just try same thing at the right place and reach out to someone and ask for help!

Trust me this is for everybody s sake, I have seen this "love" between brother and sister before, they both grew up, ended up broken, he committed several rapes after, ruined his children life, her ended up alone, without family, without children, unhappy for the rest of her live, their mother living in constant hell, covering their sins.

I know you don t want to end up broken, since you are here already reaching out, just make an effort and do something, you are stronger than you think you are, trust me! Hugs!

[tabbyloves]

yeah, i can express myself well on here because i'm typing it. If i try and speak it, nothing will come out. But you see, I'm not broken. I'm in-love with my girlfriend. I care for what he has done yes, but he hasn't broken me. He's my brother and nothing can ever change that. But i just can't report him. I can't do it. This is reality, and i can't do it.

[behind mirrors]

It seems like you already found a solution for you "antisocial" behavior, since you can type, you can type and express yourself very well, since you don t have to talk if you can t or don t want to for a report, you can just send an email to the right person. Or send 10 emails, like I did, you will see how many people will offer help!

If you don t want or you can t report your brother. Fine, it s your choice. You can also tell just to your parents so they can do something about and stop it and make sure both of you get help. Write a letter to your mother, I am sure she will read it and try all her best to help her children.

There are always solutions: good ones, bad ones, hard ones, comfortable ones, just never admit you are helpless, just never let anybody hurt you ever again!

And never believe you are fine, while being constantly raped, because nobody can be fine under such circumstances, sure you can survive "anything", like we all do, but from surviving to being truly happy is a long ride. I am glad you find love, so fight for it and fight for a happy life!

[tabbyloves]

why do i need to fight for it if I'm happy now? I put it off for 9 years so why worry about it now? I don't see the point. Yes in the post it seemed like i needed help, but honestly all i can handle right now is support. I just need support.

[Capricorn3]

why do i need to fight for it if I'm happy now? I put it off for 9 years so why worry about it now? I don't see the point. Yes in the post it seemed like i needed help, but honestly all i can handle right now is support. I just need support.

You said you don't know what to do, so everyone who has posted so far has been giving you really good advice on what to do, but you turn it down and refuse to take on board what they say. You say now all you want is support but what kind of support can you get over the internet? People HAVE been very helpful and supportive (imo). I'm not sure exactly what it is that you're after??

[tabbyloves]

You said you don't know what to do, so everyone who has posted so far has been giving you really good advice on what to do, but you turn it down and refuse to take on board what they say. You say now all you want is support but what kind of support can you get over the internet? People HAVE been very helpful and supportive (imo). I'm not sure exactly what it is that you're after??

 

well if you put it like that, then now you got me confused and what I'm after... idk. i just gonna leave it..

[youleeseas]

Reporting this, dealing with this sort of thing is not easty for any of us.

You came here asking for help, I agree with Capricorn3, people haven't said anything you want to hear so you've gone on the defensive.

I imagine if your brother has left it 9 years between attacks then he probably had something, or someone, else to keep him occupied during that time. If you leave this then you're leaving yourself, and others at risk. Saying you're antisocial and that it is hard to report him just isn't good enough. You don't deserve this to happen to you, you need to find away and gather all the courage and strength you have (and you must have quite a bit to get through this a first time) to end this.

I think you're in danger of hiding behind these excuses and issues for the rest of your life. You might feel fine now, but eventually it will catch up to you, as it does with all of us and the last thing you want is to be caught out.

You asked for support and I'm.sure everyone will support you through this difficult time, and furthermore if you decide to report it. But I'm concerned that you started this looking for sympathy, and though you have it, though we feel for you, I think that the vast majority of people here know that you need to do more, we are just looking out for your best interests. Believe me.

[tabbyloves]

read these words carefully coz i'm sick of saying it, time and time again... I'm FINE! I've moved on, and it is the LAST thing i want to deal with right now, i have too much to deal with already from school and other family issues. Just go ahead doing your business and i'll go ahead and do my business and we'll both and all of us just leave this situation to rott in h*ll. I don't want it and i don't need it. End of story.

[TheLoneliest]

Tabby, I know your pain. You want all this to go away, I did too. I wanted all the whole year of molestation in 3rd, 4th grade to go away. I'm 30ish now, and it didn't go away. I've never been in a relationship, but I've heard we end up hurting the ones we love because we couldn't deal with it. It's rough, really really rough. Other people might be confused with your comments and response, but I don't. I think I totally understand how you feel because that was how I felt. It's very very hard to get the right support for our kind of problems. I realized at early age, just a little younger than you at 12, that I got a lot of problems other families don't have. I learned that trusting people is not the right way to go. First you have to trust yourself. What I mean is, trust your emotions, your logic and your self-esteem. You say you are fine right now and I believe you, but this is a bandage, a patch, and you're gushing out blood. I know you have to deal with school and other family issues. I did too, I kept moving to a different school each year and my dad almost killed my mom and my mom almost killed herself by jumping out of the car while my brother and I were in the back. There's a lot of pressure and I just wanted all to go away.

 

You have to be strong, extra extra strong because Tabby, you're in a very tough spot. It would be nice for some guy (or girl) to just swoop you away and leave all your troubles behind, but life sux and reality bites. I wish I had run away from them when I was 16 and had the chance to. I didn't. I wasn't strong enough to leave my little brother behind and had to deal with all my troubles and repressed memories and hating the world for almost another 20 years. I don't want you to end up like me. I couldn't even get a girlfriend because I know I'm emotionally screwed up, really really screwed up, and I don't want to hurt anyone else, despite all the anger I have in me. The situation will never rot in h3ll. The situation will follow you like it followed me to college when I had the repressed memories. I know you looked for an online counselor and that didn't work. I had seeked over 10-15 specialists and all made me worse. So I know the agony. Your situation requires to take action, and you need to be super strong like Supergirl because right now nobody can help you but yourself. You need to talk to the police about your brother. Then AFTER you told the police, you need to tell your parents about your brother, and that you had reported to the police. Your parents will not understand why you do this, but they will. Because your brother is also their son, they will not seek any 'damaging' results for him either, but that just makes you take more damage without them realizing this. That's why it is okay to report your brother right now to the police. It is absolutely the right thing because he will hurt many more girls in his life if not stopped. Your parents might not forgive you, your family might not forgive you, your friends might not forgive you, but they will when they finally understand. It is a very different world when they have never encountered our problems, and they can try to empathize but will never understand the conflicting misery we live in. You have to take this into your own hand and be the Katniss Everdeen that you need to be. People here will try to give you as much support as you need, but you have to take the first leap of faith. I know your pain, but you need to stop the gushing wound. Be strong Tabby, I know you can.

[tabbyloves]

You're really going to start me, aren't you? We are ALL going to leave this alone...I'll make sure it'll rott in ****. You best not be replying to this and telling me the same things, coz words'll come flying out of my fingers and I'll be banned from this site. I am not anywhere near in the mood to be talking about this not when i got bigger fish to fry.