vix8 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 so basically my boyfriend told me jessica alba is the most perfect woman alive which got me going. he's said this more than once, and i have never heard him same that i am perfect. i thought that was so rude of him to say that to me in the first place, and secondly it just made me flat out insecure about myself. he constantly judges other woman on their appearance and i cant help but think about what my flaws might be. BUT .. he never judges me, he always says I'm the hottest girls alive. to me that doesn't really add up to perfect (not that i want to be perfect) but i want to be perfect in his eyes or perfect for him. and then.. i told him about how it bothers me that he judges other woman, and what he said about ms. alba made me very insecure (i can't watch a movie with her in it when im with him, and if alone or with other people i can't stop looking at how she looks). anyways i believe i am good looking, and i do believe him when he says im good looking. but it really hurt my feelings when he said that. So he changed his answer to "there are many different types of perfect, and you are perfect as well." his example was: you can like more than one a.s.s., you can like more that one nose. I makes sense but still... So.. this topic still bugged me and i brought it up again calmly, and he changes what he has to say again. he says: "i don't really like the mousey look and jessica is mousey" and then the topic drifted away he never brought her up again, and slowly stopped judging girls on there looks because i started getting angry at it.. and then one day i found on his computer (not snooping just saw) that he was looking at pics of her.. My question is.. what is he actually thinking :s .. is he just trying to make me feel better by somewhat lying with a play of words? Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 celebrity crush. Nothing more nothing less. I have crush on madonna and i'm married. Link to comment
avman Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 That's just a celebrity crush though. Someone totally unobtainable, perfected by Hollywood makeup and airbrushes. Try not to take it personally. Most couples I know talk pretty openly about their celebrity crushes. If each partner has one and can laugh and joke about it then it doesn't become so threatening. Lets face it, he's with YOU and not her. If he's telling you that you are the hottest girl alive then that's all that matters. He wants you just the way you are. Perfection is not a requirement for happiness. Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 i must be weird then lol. i don't have a celebrity crush. i think some celebs are good looking, but i don't obsess over any of them or make comments, not even to my girlfriends. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 So you have no celebrity crushes of your own? I mean, is there no celebrity that just makes you go "WOW OMG!" Scott Speedman has always done that to me--and a few others. There's nothing wrong with that. They are just ideals which are, sadly, untouchable to 99.999999999% of the population. Link to comment
Leya Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Let's see, my Ex had a thing for Angeline Jolie, my current guy loves Scarlett Johansson. I told my current guy I'd leave him in a heartbeat for a certain ex-Canucks' hockey player. It's harmless really. That being said, both the guys I mentioned still did make positive comments over my body. So I never felt threatened by their celeb crushes. Nor them, mine. So try not to be too sensitive about it (and that is coming from someone who acknowledges that she is a very sensitive person in general!) the one things that did bother me was years ago, my boyfriend and I popped by his dad's place (who wasn't home at the time) and he had a Playboy sitting out on the kitchen table. My boyfriend started flipping through it (which I honestly didn't mind) What DID bug me was him pointing out the flaws in all these women. I was thinking "Geez, if he sees the flaws in THESE women, what must he think of MY body?" Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 nope i don't. im more attracted to woman but im not lesbian, bisexual. but there are no woman celebrities that make me go WOW because they all look the same after a while. I like amanda seyfried because she looks different, but i don't think shes the hottest girl. i feel like the person who im with is the only person i have a desire to look at and i love imperfections there so interesting. i guess sometimes i look at other woman, but its nothing really. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 the one things that did bother me was years ago, my boyfriend and I popped by his dad's place (who wasn't home at the time) and he had a Playboy sitting out on the kitchen table. My boyfriend started flipping through it (which I honestly didn't mind) What DID bug me was him pointing out the flaws in all these women. I was thinking "Geez, if he sees the flaws in THESE women, what must he think of MY body?" Well chances are you do have imperfections. Probably many more than the models. The key difference, though, is that people tend to go in "critical" mode when they look at idealized abstracts which are unattainable. At that point it's like criticizing fine art. Yes, they're "criticisms", but it's still fine art when all is said and done. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I can't be attracted to someone unless I get to know them personally and since that doesn't happen between me and any celebrities I don't have crushes on any. Maybe your boyfriend wishes you looked like her? I don't get it really. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I would not worry about it since he is not meeting her any time soon and I doubt she would even notice him. I would not even respond to the crush. My husband makes the odd comment about someone being nice looking or hot and I just shrug or agree depending. I know he is with me and not going any place and particularly not with anyone famous. Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 i think its the whole judging other woman that makes his celebrity crush that more intimidating to me. like the woman he judges aren't just models, they are real woman on the streets. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Me~ 40 something year old mother of 4 grown children, grandmother to 5. Chubby body, wrinkles and hair that is trying to turn grey but I won't let it. Boyfriend~ 50 year old with a serious crush on Pamela Anderson and Raquel Welch. LOL Really, who cares? He can crush on them all he wants but in the end, it's me he is with. I really doubt Pammy would give him the time of day anyway. hahaha Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 he is 18, and his best friend is very immature and outspoken in that way.. im pretty sure he gets it from him. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Ahh well 18 explains it. LOL. Don't worry about it, Jessica is not interested in an 18 year old boy. The immaturity will wear off. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 he is 18, and his best friend is very immature and outspoken in that way.. im pretty sure he gets it from him. Oh well that explains a lot, he's a typical teen. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 LMAO, apparently Vic and I have the same thought at the exact same time. Great minds think alike. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Let's face it. Unless your boyfriend becomes an 'actor' or moves in celebrity circles then be worried. Other than that, sleep well tonight - Jessica Alba is untouchable concerning your BF. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 LMAO, apparently Vic and I have the same thought at the exact same time. Great minds think alike. That we do my lovely. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Oh dear....if your bf starts talking about the hot neighbor I might worry..but celeb crushes are harmless. Bring up how hot you think an actor or sports star is to him...don't be shocked if he mocks him in some way... It's a guy thing, and funny.. Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 lol yeah he kept trying to make me tell him which actors i thought were hot, and i couldn't care less so i had to think about it. i said paul walker, jonny dep, and channing tatum and he ripped on all of them aha Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 He is just acting like a teenage BOY. Don't feed into it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 i think he's just being a stupid 18 year old boy. don't worry. as long as the relationship is going well, i doubt jessica is going to steal him away from you!! Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Hehe, my wife and I jokingly have a "5 freebies" list of only celebrities. It's okay to have celeb crushes. Don't worry about that. But yeah if he talk likes that about women on the street that is a little worrysome (and dumb - happily married men use their eyes and never turn their head, and NEVER say anything, lol). Link to comment
eskimobobseal Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 my girlfriend has this exact same problem when it comes to me saying celebrities are hot and i just don't understand it. Its not like I'm going to leave her for the celebrity, and saying another woman is good looking that is essentially a fictional character does not mean I am going to leave my girlfriend or feel that my girlfriend is any less hot Link to comment
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