Anti-Rape/Sexual Assault Campaigns

[OptomisticGirl]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that Life. I was never blamed but I imagine it's just as hard as no one believing you.

 

I def. would love to see more direct awarness to the causes. I remember reading on the 'No Means No' campaign that they were asked to pull some of their posters because it made some people uncomfortable - stuff like that. Rape/Assault IS uncomfortable and I sometimes believe that's the only way we will ever get any kind of message accross - the direct way that makes some people uncomfortable.

 

Also, most rapes/assualt don't happen in a situation were you could have prevented it by not walking alone or not doing x, y, and z - most assualts are committed by someone you KNOW.

[annie24]

You have to remember - rape isn't about sex - it's about power. Many women get sexually assaulted no matter what they are wearing - heck, women in the military get raped too! Instead of blaming women for what they are wearing, how about blaming men for the raping?

 

I think that the sl_t walks are just trying to point out that it is ridiculous to blame the victim, or to question, 'but did it REALLY happen?' when that doesn't happen for any other crime that gets reported to the police.

 

link removed

 

The fact is, even if you leave your keys on top of your car, that does not give someone else the right to steal it. If you leave the door to your house unlocked, that doesn't give someone the right to come in and steal your stuff. It doesn't mean that a crime has not been committed against you.

[PhilliesFan001]

The former case of social assault, though, can be curtailed if we would all simply remember NOT TO LEAVE THE KEYS ON THE ROOF OF THE DAMN FERRARI! If you get my drift. It's akin to those climbers who climb without ropes: if you take unnecessary risks in life, you will attract unnecessary consequences. Situational Awareness - Hone it, Develop it, and use it to STAY SAFE!

 

Women can exercise situational awareness without having to change the way they dress. They can stay in a group and make sure themselves and others don't go off alone, they can watch their drinks at clubs, etc. But I still feel that women should be free to dress however they like without having to fear that it can lead to a rape. There is simply no justification for it - rape is rape regardless of how trashy or sl*tty the woman is dressed.

 

Nobody's trying to say that you can dress provocatively without turning heads - obviously if you're wearing very revealing clothes, it will get you attention. But it's still zero excuse for unwanted touches or assaults. If you leave your keys on the roof of your car, sure it means you're more likely to find yourself in a bad situation, but does that justify the end result? Does that mean the person who steals your car is any less guilty? If a person sees keys laying about they should exercise their morals and self restraint enough not to steal it, just like a man should exercise the same restraint when he sees an attractive woman who doesn't want his advances

 

Besides which, the cop who instigated the entire movement has a poor understanding of rape. Rape is not usually about attraction and sexual desire - it's not seeing a woman in a tube top and being unable to control yourself and needing to have sex with her in most situations. Rape is a power play, a violation of another person's body and boundaries and spirit. It's about exercising control over your victim.

[Lonewing]

@OptimisticGirl & @PhilliesFan001: Situation like your guys' are mainly the reason why I am doing this. I'd like to spread awareness that viewpoints like we're "asking for it" or that we can just simply defend ourselves would "prevent rape." Like, no. How about not raping in the first place? IMO, rapists are the ones that are making rape the problem.

 

As humans, we are naturally sexual creatures, but also as humans, we have the ability to control that. I was blamed for the rape multiple times, so it took me years to understand that it wasn't my fault. People always told me that I could've done something, like punch the guy, or self-defended. I was 9, too, OptimisticGirl, so I understand you. -hugs- but it's even worse that your mom neglects it!

 

It will never ever ever be your fault. It's truthfully not. There is nothing you COULD have done, either. Your situation falls under the umbrella of Domestic Rape - and as I said, I have no answers to this problem.

 

We all share some responsibility for the social rape scene, though. It starts with simply accepting the reality that a Drunk girl legally CANNOT consent to sex; if a man has sex with her, it qualifies as Rape.

 

Until this change happens, you're fighting a pretty strong current. The entire clubbing/bar scene is pretty well built around this insititution - that's what the draw is, meeting someone, hooking up and getting laid - and it's sold on the idea that in order to be successful socially, you must have superfluous amounts of alchohol available. Having a good time means buying her one, two, three drinks and dancing the night away - and she'll reward you by taking you home for a ONS. Or you'll be FWB. Or NSA.

 

In order to change things, you have to convince guys that this very successful game they are playing is Wrong. But thereinlies the problem - it's SUCCESSFUL. If it wasn't for this route, there's a large number who wouldn't be getting laid near as often if ever in the first place.

 

Anyhow...Let's just say the company Sexual Assault Awareness class was a very - depressing - Session, for what we learned about us all and each other?

[lifeisaparadox]

Statistics have shown that 2/3 of the assault is caused by someone the person knows. Therefore, it's not exactly a stranger danger deal. Most people get the idea that rapists jump out in a dark alleyway. I mean, I'm not saying that DOESN'T happen, but chances are, you're more likely to experience rape/sexual assault through someone you know. Even family members or friends -- aka PEOPLE YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH, and perhaps even trust.

 

@OptimisticGirl: I can't believe some posters were removed! It's no wonder I don't see enough anti-rape/sexual assault posters around public. But it's such a serious issue, IMO. I may be biased though in that one

[PhilliesFan001]

link removed

 

I love that.

[annie24]

Until this change happens, you're fighting a pretty strong current.

 

It goes the other way too. It's very hard to prove after the fact that she was drunk and not able to consent. by the time you get to the police, your blood alcohol level is 0.0. then it becomes a case of he said vs. she said. honestly, rape is one of the most under-reported crimes. Many women don't report it because they don't think someone will believe them. Not to say that rape isn't falsely accused, but the rates of false accusal are about the same as for any other type of crime (burglary, arson, etc...)

[OptomisticGirl]

Statistics have shown that 2/3 of the assault is caused by someone the person knows. Therefore, it's not exactly a stranger danger deal. Most people get the idea that rapists jump out in a dark alleyway. I mean, I'm not saying that DOESN'T happen, but chances are, you're more likely to experience rape/sexual assault through someone you know. Even family members or friends -- aka PEOPLE YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH, and perhaps even trust.

 

@OptimisticGirl: I can't believe some posters were removed! It's no wonder I don't see enough anti-rape/sexual assault posters around public. But it's such a serious issue, IMO. I may be biased though in that one

 

Exactly. Those types of situations DO happen but the over whelming rapes/assualts are done by someone you know in a situation that should never bring about rape.

 

They were. Some people found them uncomfortable and crude - rape/assault is still the dirt little secret no one wants to talk about it. They acknowledge it happens but talking about it? It's still a very well kept buried secret.

[Leya]

Statistics have shown that 2/3 of the assault is caused by someone the person knows. Therefore, it's not exactly a stranger danger deal. Most people get the idea that rapists jump out in a dark alleyway. I mean, I'm not saying that DOESN'T happen, but chances are, you're more likely to experience rape/sexual assault through someone you know. Even family members or friends -- aka PEOPLE YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH, and perhaps even trust.

 

 

I had the stranger danger deal. Got physically pulled off a street by a gang of guys looking for a good time. So it does happen. And for all those idiots who think women are spurring it on by dressing "provactively"- I had a big winter bulky coat on. It's about power and control, NOT sex. But even if I was wearing a miniskirt-it does NOT invite rape.

[Lonewing]

When you dress in a particular way, you make yourself a target. If you dress in a military uniform, you become a target for those who provoked by that uniform. For this reason, our military personnel are NOT allowed to wear their uniforms off base in a large number of arears around the world.

 

Yes, You DO have to change how you dress - or ONLY go places where that sort of dress will be tolerated without you getting roughed up for it. The issue is, Provactive dress ATTRACTS those who desire you as a sex Object. You are the honeypot, he is the bee.

 

The issue is, rapists Do not care about the rules - anybodies Rules. It's like that old rule about guns - if you legally took all the guns away, then the criminals would be the ones with all the guns - because they DO NOT follow anybody's rules but their own.

 

The day you can dress ANY WAY YOU LIKE is the same day men can go out dressed ANY WAY THEY LIKE - and that includes any getup that reveals the penis. It's never going to hapen because we all recognize that's a bad idea - so I don't see why it's so hard to grasp the reality that women CANNOT dress ANY way they like. There is a social dress code, and if you don't follow it, you are bound to be judged as something you are not, and you are bound to have someone act upon you based upon your appearance. You're not dealing with common decent folk; you're dealing with people with no regard for you as a person. These are Not the kind of people who control themselves, but rather, people who Follow their urges and do what they want when they want to whom they want.

 

I hate to inform anybody of this, but in 4000 years of corporal Punishment, we have yet to irradicate the 'criminal' gene.

 

There's another thing. If you know there is a party, and there will be drugs there, and the people there will be doing drugs, but you are flatly adament that you DO NOT want to do drugs, then you should NOT GO to that party. This is part of situational awareness - the recognition that there are places where you simply should not be. I'll say the same about girls going to places where sexual assualt is a common occurane. The big issue is, the sexual assault usually does not happen in that facility - it happens elsewhere. Who knows why it's so hard to get people to recognize the common denominators...

[OptomisticGirl]

I hate to inform you Loneweing but a rapist does not rape you for the sex act, they rape you for the power they can take over you by doing so which is why many rapes are done when the woman ISN'T wearing something provocative. It is this type of thinking that makes women feel like they can't come forward because they some how did something wrong when they did NOTHING wrong.

 

What about the 6 year old girl who wears a cute little dress that the child molestor finds provacative and turns him on? Is she at fault for wearing her cute little dress? Is she asking to be raped?

[annie24]

And the woman who gets raped while wearing the large bulky winter coat...... That is her fault as well?

[Leya]

I hate to inform you Loneweing but a rapist does not rape you for the sex act, they rape you for the power they can take over you by doing so which is why many rapes are done when the woman ISN'T wearing something provocative. It is this type of thinking that makes women feel like they can't come forward because they some how did something wrong when they did NOTHING wrong.

 

Thank you for this post

[Lonewing]

This isn't about rationalizing the criminal.

 

This is about taking precautionary steps to avoid the situation altogether.

 

Sure, at the end of the day, the Rapist is Wrong. But he's wearing her smile for the rest of his life. Think about that.

 

Is Asserting your Right in this manner worth losing your very quality of Life?

 

If he gets caught, he goes to jail for...well, how long, anymore?

 

You live with it for the rest of your life.

 

He's known throughout the community as a sex offender. Only problem? Those who knew him, probably already knew he was a sex offender - and are likely sex offenders themselves.

 

You, on the other hand, are known the community over as a rape victim. That will stay with you through every relationship you will ever be in.

 

In short, I simply do not believe it's a Smart Decision.

[OptomisticGirl]

This is about taking precautionary steps to avoid the situation altogether.

.

 

You clearly need to read up rape statistics Lonewing, otherwise you'd know how utterly wrong this statement is.

[duke nukem]

I'll reiterate: It is my firm belief that all women should carry a concealed firearm for defense. Combined with proper training it could very likely save your life as well as others.

[Leya]

EDIT:Sorry, this is directed at lonewing.

Wow. Words escape me. Your thinking is aligned with the countries in the middle east that forces women to cover up head to toe so as not to "tempt" men

Are you frikken kidding me???? You MEN need to show some self control and not HARM other human beings. And yes, women ARE human beings.

Sheesh. You have NO RIGHT to force yourself unto an unwilling person, bottom line!! I find your post disturbing!!!

[Lonewing]

I hate to inform you Loneweing but a rapist does not rape you for the sex act, they rape you for the power they can take over you by doing so which is why many rapes are done when the woman ISN'T wearing something provocative. It is this type of thinking that makes women feel like they can't come forward because they some how did something wrong when they did NOTHING wrong.

 

I hate to inform you back, but the vast majority of rape cases, based upon the state's definition of what Consent is, are Indeed Sex Acts, only they do not go reported because the people involved in them are either unaware or ambivalent towards these laws. Or as Annie said, they are shamed of reporting such incidents because the situation of their involvement - drugs, achohol - have left their system by that point. Or worse, they blacked out during the incident and thus have no memory of the entire night after Such and such moment.

 

Just because the data is not present does not mean it's nonexistant. The statistics that are available are of those people who rape for power first and sex second. The side of the chart that is blank are those who "rape" for sex first and power second. It's an important note, because all of these conclusions are based upon statistics, and statistics can say anything if you know how to gather the right data.

[lifeisaparadox]

I'll reiterate: It is my firm belief that all women should carry a concealed firearm for defense. Combined with proper training it could very likely save your life as well as others.

 

This would be effective if I lived in a country that allowed firearm or even pepper spray (both illegal from where I am living for now).

 

And btw, I was raped when I was 9. I wasn't even aware that rape was possible, so why would I think proper training was needed? Almost half of rape/sexual assault victims are under the age of 18. They're not even adults yet, and I would say a good majority are too naive with the concept of rape/sexual assault to really ever be "prepared" (though I can't really speak for what they're teaching kids in school now. I hope on top of DARE they're informing them that rape and sexual assault is an issue to look out for). My friends, when we were 16, never imagined rape was even possible to them because they claimed they didn't dress like a wh*re.

 

Not saying that this wouldn't be an effective method. If I had known back then though, it'd definitely help.

[OptomisticGirl]

Again, look at rape/assault statistics Lonewing before you bring them to the table. Being raped/assaulted by someone you know is MORE common than the stranger danger situation. Most rapes/assaults are done not at a drunk party or a drug party or walking home from the party - they are done in your OWN bedroom, in your OWN bed, by someone you KNOW. Glad to know that as a 9 year old child, I was asking for it because I wore cute clothes.

[Lonewing]

Sorry, this is directed at lonewing.

Wow. Words escape me. Your thinking is aligned with the countries in the middle east that forces women to cover up head to toe so as not to "tempt" men

Are you frikken kidding me???? You MEN need to show some self control and not HARM other human beings. And yes, women ARE human beings.

Sheesh. You have NO RIGHT to force yourself unto an unwilling person, bottom line!! I find your post disturbing!!!

 

Have you yet realized that Rapists are not rational human beings, and thus, these ideas you state - all of which are true, by the way, and I FULLY agree with you on these points - have no meaning to them? They do not care if you are a human being - that's the issue in and of itself!

 

Hence, No rational amount of poster campaigns will have an effect on them. So if there is a poster campaign, you must aim it at the groups who DO have control in this situation: normal, rational men and women.

[duke nukem]

This would be effective if I lived in a country that allowed firearm or even pepper spray (both illegal from where I am living for now).

 

And btw, I was raped when I was 9. I wasn't even aware that rape was possible, so why would I think proper training was needed? Almost half of rape/sexual assault victims are under the age of 18. They're not even adults yet, and I would say a good majority are too naive with the concept of rape/sexual assault to really ever be "prepared" (though I can't really speak for what they're teaching kids in school now. I hope on top of DARE they're informing them that rape and sexual assault is an issue to look out for). My friends, when we were 16, never imagined rape was even possible to them because they claimed they didn't dress like a wh*re.

 

What country do you live in? And I know my solution isn't a be all end all, but it would certainly help. Also I meant training for the firearm. It shouldn't be required for women to train for a rape, as women shouldn't truly have to fear being raped, just like I shouldn't have to fear being mugged. Sadly, things happen.

[Lonewing]

And now I think we're onto something!

 

If you want successful poster campaign, START with THIS!

[Leya]

Have you yet realized that Rapists are not rational human beings, and thus, these ideas you state - all of which are true, by the way, and I FULLY agree with you on these points - have no meaning to them? They do not care if you are a human being - that's the issue in and of itself!

 

Hence, No rational amount of poster campaigns will have an effect on them. So if there is a poster campaign, you must aim it at the groups who DO have control in this situation: normal, rational men and women.

Fair enough, so you as a MAN, can have much impact on this issue. Are you doing anything to help?

[Lonewing]

Again, look at rape/assault statistics Lonewing before you bring them to the table. Being raped/assaulted by someone you know is MORE common than the stranger danger situation. Most rapes/assaults are done not at a drunk party or a drug party or walking home from the party - they are done in your OWN bedroom, in your OWN bed, by someone you KNOW. Glad to know that as a 9 year old child, I was asking for it because I wore cute clothes.

 

See, you wish to ignore the pile of Unreported Statistics, the numbers which would completley change this argument. Please go back to this statement, and think about what it means!

 

In most States, it is legally impossible for a woman under the influence of alchohol or other mind altering substances to consent to sex. If a man has sex with her in that time frame, he has committed the act of rape.

 

So in my mind, this act is grossly under reported, and as such, it's impossible to make sense of the overall trend, the overall driving forces, with what statistics are available.