SydneyGirl Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I agree with ChicoShadow, it's important to let a woman know where she stands in regards to your feelings, and playing games like not calling or playing it "cool" gives a woman the impression that you are not interested and is NOT appealing. I believe a man should be honest with a woman about how he feels, but he should only ever have to do this once, because in 99% of cases her first answer will be her final answer! From what you've said above, you have made your feelings known and she has politely informed you that she does not feel the same way. I'm sure you're a great guy, and initially it may hurt to know that she has considered everything you have to offer and still decided that she doesn't want anything more than friendship with you, but when you look at the bigger picture, the sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can move on and meet the right girl! Also (and I really hate to say this) it's very likely that hanging out with you is a great confidence boost for her! Especially if you act as if you adore her and find her really attractive! I know a lot of women who have kept male friends, knowing that these men have feelings for them, simply because it boosts their ego... I'm ashamed to say I was guilty of it once in my younger days. Obviously I don't know this woman, so I can't say that she is ONLY using you to cater to her ego, and I'm sure she does value you as a friend, but if you want more then friendship from her and she's not prepared to give it, those kinds of relationships usually don't end well! Ask yourself how you will feel if she meets someone else and is suddenly ready for a relationship? Would you still want to be her friend then? If she had a new boyfriend? What you really need to decide is whether a friendship with this woman is worth sacrificing a potential relationship with the right girl? Because a friendship is all you will get from her, she has made that clear. My advice is to keep looking for the right girl... you can still be friends with this girl, but make sure your priority is meeting new women and not being at this girl's beck and call! Good luck!! I hope that right girl is just around the corner! Link to comment
Will757 Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 Rigbt well if all of this is true then I guess that there is no good me even.botheri.g to try and get a girlfriend anymore. I don't know what is so wrong with.me. I really don't i am a good guy, i have a good job abd a flat of my own, i drive and I don't think i'm ugly, in fact I've bwen told i'm not. Yet I can't get a girl intrested in.me. I hate my stupid pathetic misreable life. I really fear I will die alone, i just can't ever see any woman wanting to be with me.. I rrally don't know why and it makes me feel so much less of a person then anyone else in tje world. People treat me like im a litrle boy and i hate it. But there is nothing i cando, wbo would want me? An inexperienced 25 year old. So with that in mind i think i give up on ever getting anywhere Link to comment
SydneyGirl Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Hi, I'm sorry if my comment was harsh, I certainly dont think you should give up! I think you need tov work on your self image and confidence! You say you're a good looking guy with a good job and a nice home and it sounds like you have alot to offer a woman, but instead of focusing on the many positive things about yourself, you're worrying about the negatives! Maybe instead of thinking of yourself as lonely and inexperienced, you could think of yourself as a man who believes in and is looking for love, but hasn't been lucky enough to find it yet! There are a lot of women who will find you charming, but its hard for others to like you if you don't even like yourself! I really hope you find that right girl!! Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Women are a lot like college admissions offices. Bad grades and low test scores (not having your own place, a job, etc) will keep you out, but good grades and high test scores by themselves won't get you in. You need extracurricular activities and a good admissions essay. You have to stand out in the applicant pool from the other 500 prancing ponies that have great "stats", too. You need a uniqueness that is particularly appealing in addition to having the good marks. There was a quote by someone famous, I don't know who it was...maybe Eisenhower or Einstein or Eminem, but it says, "If you place a low value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." You've got to have a passion and direction that is not the woman herself. You need to have a life goal, an objective, a purpose, that is completely independent of your golden-haired (or raven-haired) maiden, you have to know it's strong and valuable, and you have to present it that way in your daily life. That will build attraction. "Woe is me" will run them off faster than anything...except maybe a machete and a ski mask. But "woe is me" is definitely in the top 5 of bad impressions. So fix that first. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I am always going to tell a guy that I want to be friends first so you could be misreading her comment. If you really like her, I would continue seeing her because you have only been going out a month or two. But I would try and not be her shopping buddy, but steer her towards date like things. Don't run errands with her. Ask her to dinner, dinner and a movie. Ice skating and hot chocolate. If she tells you that she is still not interested in you, I would tell her that you are really looking for a girlfriend so you guess you are looking for two different things. Link to comment
Will757 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 I am always going to tell a guy that I want to be friends first so you could be misreading her comment. If you really like her, I would continue seeing her because you have only been going out a month or two. But I would try and not be her shopping buddy, but steer her towards date like things. Don't run errands with her. Ask her to dinner, dinner and a movie. Ice skating and hot chocolate. If she tells you that she is still not interested in you, I would tell her that you are really looking for a girlfriend so you guess you are looking for two different things. I'm confused. Really really confused. I decidedthat i would tell her again how i feel and ask her about what she wanted. She told me this 'i would leave it as it is, for now. Yes we've been seeing each.other a while, but i'd still give it more time.' I told her that i appreciaed where she was coming from and asked if she saw tgis going anywhere. She told me 'Well we meet often and I enjoy it...' We have then continued seeing each other and went out last Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She is also coming to stay this weekend. I reallt dont know what she wamts. Is she messing me around? Or is she just bei.g cautious? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 She really wants a guy that she is into. She likes you enough to keep you around until she finds him and then she'll leave you behind. Link to comment
Will757 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 She really wants a guy that she is into. She likes you enough to keep you around until she finds him and then she'll leave you behind. Well thanks for that. But if she isn't interested at all then.why doesn't she just say that? She doean't seem.the type to play games... It's just so soul destroying, i.like thos girl so so much and I really thnk that it would be a good relationship. Link to comment
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