Unpredictable Ignorance

[harsh284]

My GF broke up with me 2-3 months back but then she started talking - about a month back she went to New Zealand with her parents to meet her brother for about 20-25 days - we talked before she left - she told me she will not be using her phone during this time but I mailed her a couple of times - she hasnt replied to any of the mails - I dont know how to talk to her - she is ignoring me but dont knw why - i mailed her that even if she doesnt wanna continue atleast talk first and then I will not bother her - we had broken couple of times earlier also and she used to ignore me for a month or two but now there is no reason -

 

 

I am getting desperate to talk to her - its been almost a month now - she has disappeared - please help me someone

[EgoJoe]

Grab your cojones and end this cycle bro, you're going down a dark road that will leave you emasculated and shamed. I'm surprised that you didn't come here when she started to talk to you again.

[SapphireNoir10]

Leave her alone. Stop messaging her. If she wants to talk to you, she will, but i think you have to accept that it is over. I know its hard, but bombarding her with messages will just make things worse and drive her away even further.

[doiiiieeezie]

I'm not for mind games, but with this woman you are losing your cool. Stop contacting her until she reaches out again (and she most likely will). If you continue to try however, she will be gone forever. Get a hold of yourself.

[harsh284]

Grab your cojones and end this cycle bro, you're going down a dark road that will leave you emasculated and shamed. I'm surprised that you didn't come here when she started to talk to you again.

 

just tell me how I break this cycle - I havent spoken or seen her for a month - I am busy all day as I am in a B-school - but still I get dreams of her almost everyday - what should I do - the more I try to forget her the more I want her - I have tried everything to forget her - when I see a couple it hurts me so much

 

I dont knw whats in her mind - she ignores me randomly - I tried to make her life easier i asked her if u dont want anything to do with me then just tell me I will not come back but she doesnt reply to this as well - I said just dont ignore it hurts just tell me if u dont want a relationship with me I will not bother by mistake also -

 

What should I do? I invested so much in this relationship and in the end I get only ignorance - * * * - i am not forcing her to be with me but I just need her to say final no so that my mind does not keep any expectations - she doesnt talk

[harsh284]

I'm not for mind games, but with this woman you are losing your cool. Stop contacting her until she reaches out again (and she most likely will). If you continue to try however, she will be gone forever. Get a hold of yourself.

 

fine - i am not contacting her again but is the situation already worse that there is no turning back?? I have mailed her about 10 times already

[loulou37]

fine - i am not contacting her again but is the situation already worse that there is no turning back?? I have mailed her about 10 times already

 

Then just stop!! she has got you right where she wants you!

 

Now it's your turn to dissappear, you're all desperate and needy, you're losing it! you need to go off and get your act together...

 

loulou x

[doiiiieeezie]

The thing about relationships is that time allows us to forget and forgive the mistakes of the past. I always believed that unless they are dead, there is always hope. However. you really need to let go. She may come back, and there is a high chance that she won't. You need to ask yourself once the dust clears, do you really want to be hanging on to a memory or someone that will enrich your life?

[Tired Tiger]

Unpredictable Ignorance

 

There's absolutely nothing unpredictable about this. If receiving no reply to ten emails doesn't make that obvious, then I don't suppose your 44 page thread from something like a year ago had any effect at all. And "ignorance"? I'm not sure that's the correct use of the word, but maybe you should consider this - Is it more 'ignorant' and/or disrespectful to not honor the boundary she requested (by breaking up)? How did that approach work out with the last break up?

 

Step back and work on understanding why you keep finding yourself in this position, rather than desperately clinging to the idea that she is responsible for your happiness.

[jolbell69]

Hey TT - good to see you and I love the new pic!! Isn't he the tiger from Frosties?? I used to love those adverts when I was a kid.

 

harsh284 - listen to the wise words given by the posters here, You REALLY have to step back and stop contacting her. Your behaviour is verging on obsessive (if it isn't already) and all you are doing is pushing her further away. She is spending time with her family - give her the space to do that. She shouldn't have to read 10 mails from you, or feel intimidated by your inability to leave her alone. We all think about our exes most of the time, but we have to learn to breathe and be patient. Leave her alone - no more mails!!

[MakeItCount]

There's absolutely nothing unpredictable about this. If receiving no reply to ten emails doesn't make that obvious, then I don't suppose your 44 page thread from something like a year ago had any effect at all. And "ignorance"? I'm not sure that's the correct use of the word, but maybe you should consider this - Is it more 'ignorant' and/or disrespectful to not honor the boundary she requested (by breaking up)? How did that approach work out with the last break up?

 

Step back and work on understanding why you keep finding yourself in this position, rather than desperately clinging to the idea that she is responsible for your happiness.

 

There was another thread, full repeat. Never listens. Will end up in this cycle forever. I give up on this one.

[EgoJoe]

Harsh, the reason why she doesn't answer is because she is passively exerting control over you because she knows you love her. What you need to realize is that she ALREADY opted out of your life. Many people male and female alike will backburner and friendzone their safety net. This is an egotistical outlook and in the end is very hurtful.

 

She KNOWS you care and deliberately doesn't answer because you elected to keep the option open and she knows this. I told you to ignore her and be rude to her if she keeps contacting in your last thread just because of this.

 

I too dream of an Ex I have been ignoring since September. It has been about two weeks of vivid dreams and my theory behind these after reflection is that I am coming to terms with the reality of the situation. I went above and beyond as far as mature efforts (not just to maintain the relationship but to have an amicable, respectful breakup: which failed.) and received this sort of "pick and choose" conversation from her after the fact with very passive control efforts.

 

What you must realize is how ignorant the both of you are. I actually agree with your outlook but I want you to know that you are responsible for your actions, reactions and thoughts. You need to take control of your own situation. You are in a great position in life and the fact that she gave you up so willingly and so easily sets you aside is that she considers you just an option. You are so much better than an option an worth more respect. The problem is that you will not receive this respect until you respect yourself.

 

Self-less acts of love will go unappreciated when directed towards a selfish person. This is a hallmark of the immature. You need to be ignore and be rude to this girl when/if she contacts you again and focus on moving on. She may eventually grow up and realize what she has lost but it is in your best interest to give her the gift of missing you and the freedom to grow up without the knowledge that you are there to catch her. Even if you were to reconcile YOU NEED TO HEAL!

 

I know it is tough but there comes a time when a man is faced with a situation where he has no choice but to focus on himself.