Miss Firecracker Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 That thing about the girls glomming onto him...it's just in case someone tells you first. Then he can say, "Yes, I told you about those horrible girls all over me." Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 I have not been in a good state of mind all day. This has triggered a lot of my feelings from my relationship with my alcoholic ex. I am extremely sensitive to anything that sounds like "I want to spend LESS time with you and more time at the bar with my friends." Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 They can reel you in like that, get comfortable they have you, then they show their true colors. That's who he is...a barfly. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 The last couple of days have been horrible. I sent him an email early yesterday morning to address my concerns; he ignored it. Then he left his phone in the cab coming back from the bar or wherever at 2am. I was texting him all day w/no response. Then I freaked out crying, wondering if something happened to him. At 4p, he texts me and my housemate to say he lost his phone and the cabdriver JUST returned it. I'm sorry, but has he not heard of email? He couldn't let me know he lost his phone? Esp since I sent him that email sounding concerned and upset.. He told me we needed to talk about that stuff in person. I said yes I agree but then why didn't you just SAY that, instead of ignoring me for nearly 2 days.. I'm in too bad of a head space to make any decisions. I've been there, done that with the ex alcoholic re: "I left my phone somewhere when drunk" and then I get left in limbo for an entire day, when we were supposed to have plans. I'm not happy to be doing that yet again. I think I am done with this. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I'm so sorry, sandrawg. You really deserve a lot better than that. Sounds like a teenage son rather than a man. I can't imagine dealing with that sort of guy. It's too tiring. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 So..update. HE BROKE UP WITH ME. And the breakup made NO sense. He told me how awesome and amazing I am, but that he's unhappy and he's not even sure why..that he started to resent that I was making plans for us and he doesn't know why, because he likes being with me. I said "obviously NOT ENOUGH, if you're breaking up with me"... It just felt like a bunch of CR*P. I asked him if this was about another woman. He said no. I'm not sure I believe it. I mean, we went from super happy to broken up in a WEEK. Obviously there was something else going on he's not telling me. No one I tell this to thinks it makes ANY sense. He said "I think we're better off as friends." Friends? Really? You wanna blindside me wiht a breakup and you think I'm gonna be your FRIEND? No. I blocked him everywhere. Sent him a few emails letting him know what a jerk he is. Then blocked him. I'm so upset. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I'm sure he did like being with you, just not being obligated to you. He's probably just not good at being with one woman. I have lots of cousins that never were and still aren't able in their 50's. Still at the bars, soaking up the booze and have to have that fresh, new, romantic feeling fairly often. I'm sorry, sandrawg. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 He told my friend that I was madly in love w him but he didn't feel the same. Funny, cuz on New Yrs, he said "I'm falling in love w you." And he did many loving things. And HE was the one who wanted a relationship. So... All this "going to the bar" was a smoke screen. Just a way for him to pull away from me. When I pushed him up against the wall about it, he was forced to say, he only wanted to be friends. I wonder how his feelings changed in 3 weeks? Or maybe I was just being led on all along? I'm sure he did like being with you, just not being obligated to you. He's probably just not good at being with one woman. I have lots of cousins that never were and still aren't able in their 50's. Still at the bars, soaking up the booze and have to have that fresh, new, romantic feeling fairly often. I'm sorry, sandrawg. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 If it's any comfort OP, I personally believe there are is a huge difference in being in love with someone, loving them, and being madly in love with them. Maybe he was in love with you, he just wasn't madly in love with you. I don't know if all this was a smoke screen or not but you know where he stands now with this whole thing and the ball is in your court to pick up the pieces and move forward. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 There's a HUGE difference in those 3 things? What would those be? If it's any comfort OP, I personally believe there are is a huge difference in being in love with someone, loving them, and being madly in love with them. Maybe he was in love with you, he just wasn't madly in love with you. I don't know if all this was a smoke screen or not but you know where he stands now with this whole thing and the ball is in your court to pick up the pieces and move forward. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 The difference usually lies in the fact you have to have all 3 for a relationship to work. You have to love them unconditionally, you have to be IN love with them (becuase you can love someone but not be IN love with them), and you have to be completely and utterly, madly, over the moon in love with them - all that eventually simmers into that low burning love that lasts for years but you can't have one without hte other. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 He told my friend that I was madly in love w him but he didn't feel the same. Funny, cuz on New Yrs, he said "I'm falling in love w you." And he did many loving things. And HE was the one who wanted a relationship. So... All this "going to the bar" was a smoke screen. Just a way for him to pull away from me. When I pushed him up against the wall about it, he was forced to say, he only wanted to be friends. I wonder how his feelings changed in 3 weeks? Or maybe I was just being led on all along? Wonder why he told your friend that? Looks like he would have know it would hurt your feelings to hear that. He has pulled a John Mayer, dumping girlfriends and bragging on himself. How did that make you feel? Link to comment
sandrawg Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 Not so great! However, the friend he said to this is also my housemate, who i met him through. My housemate knows him well and also suspects there is more to this than " a lack of feelings" and that my exbf is running away because he can't handle being accountable to anyone. My housemate has known him for yrs now and sees how he is. Wonder why he told your friend that? Looks like he would have know it would hurt your feelings to hear that. He has pulled a John Mayer, dumping girlfriends and bragging on himself. How did that make you feel? Link to comment
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