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4th grader - Teacher Troubles/should I inquire additionally?


cdmcbride

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While my son was in line for recess he was talking to two other boys and they were asked to by the teacher to be quiet and stay in the classroom while the teacher took the other students to recess. The teacher apparently forgot the boys and they were left in the room alone for the recess. When the teacher returned to the classroom, she apologized to the boys for forgetting them and sent them to lunch.

 

We have had some issues with the teacher in the past; however, I am upset that she forgot them. Am I making a big deal or is this an issue that I should make additional inquiries?

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I am not a parent but I know that if happen to me when I was in the 4th grade and there had been past issues with this teacher my parents would be on them instantly demanding that he/she do a better job.

 

The fact that this is not an isolated case I would speak with the teacher and if anything else happens go to the principal.

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That doesn't seem like a big deal but it might if there is a long list of other issues. What else has happened?

 

It has been mostly sending home spelling lists with misspelled words, and not realizing that my son was struggling with classwork after we met with her a few times to understand why he was being graded poorly. We have put her on the spot a few times. This is her first teaching position and it is obvious she is struggling trying to keep up. I am sure that she got caught up - but my son has been bullied in the past and does not like to be alone. When the teacher forgot - I got upset.

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While my son was in line for recess he was talking to two other boys and they were asked to by the teacher to be quiet and stay in the classroom while the teacher took the other students to recess. The teacher apparently forgot the boys and they were left in the room alone for the recess.

 

OK, so the punishment for the boys talking when told not to, was to miss recess. So, they were left in the classroom, and forced to miss recess.

 

Am I missing something here? Sounds like she made good on her promise for the boys not following the rules.

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but my son has been bullied in the past and does not like to be alone.

 

Ah, I getcha. So this was more about you fearing for your son's safety. I dig. Has he been physically beaten up by his classmates in the past?

 

Unfortunately, an adult can't always be there to supervise kids, and there comes a point where your son will have to learn to fend for himself. I would imagine if he was talking with two other boys in line, then they were friends, so if anything, I would think being left alone in a classroom for an hour with your buddies is a far better recess than being outside. lol

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OK, so the punishment for the boys talking when told not to, was to miss recess. So, they were left in the classroom, and forced to miss recess.

 

Am I missing something here? Sounds like she made good on her promise for the boys not following the rules.

 

No - she meant to return to the classroom for the boys. She forgot them. If they were told that they were to stay in the classroom for punishment - then she would need to supervise.

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It has been mostly sending home spelling lists with misspelled words, and not realizing that my son was struggling with classwork after we met with her a few times to understand why he was being graded poorly. We have put her on the spot a few times. This is her first teaching position and it is obvious she is struggling trying to keep up. I am sure that she got caught up - but my son has been bullied in the past and does not like to be alone. When the teacher forgot - I got upset.

 

If she is struggling to keep up with her students your just going to have to stay on top of her from this point on. Children should not be left unsupervised, the quality of her work (misspelled works on a 4th grade spelling list? Really?) has not been good, and she fails to notice when a student is struggling, you have to do what is best for your child and demand that this teacher do a better job.

 

By "demand" I don't mean calling her up and yelling at her or anything. But just being more on top of her. Perhaps you could schedule a weekly or bi-weekly phone call with her to keep track of everything going on with your son.

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Has he been physically beaten up by his classmates in the past?

 

Unfortunately, an adult can't always be there to supervise kids, and there comes a point where your son will have to learn to fend for himself. I would imagine if he was talking with two other boys in line, then they were friends, so if anything, I would think being left alone in a classroom for an hour with your buddies is a far better recess than being outside. lol

 

Yes - it has been physical. I don't know the boys he was with. My son said that the teacher thought he was talking but he wasn't. I learned a long time ago that there can be more to the story, but my son was really confused. I am thankful she returned to the classroom before lunch because they may had been there for a long time.

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I dunno, CDMC. I remember your other thread about how your son is not doing his school work, and you were annoyed with the teacher for not parenting your son enough on this issue. Is it possible that you're making her an outlet for your own frustrations with your sons grades and other challenges in school? Because if so, I follow the emotional trail, but it also then might be time to step back and take a deep breath before reacting to this.

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If she is struggling to keep up with her students your just going to have to stay on top of her from this point on. Children should not be left unsupervised, the quality of her work (misspelled works on a 4th grade spelling list? Really?) has not been good, and she fails to notice when a student is struggling, you have to do what is best for your child and demand that this teacher do a better job.

 

By "demand" I don't mean calling her up and yelling at her or anything. But just being more on top of her. Perhaps you could schedule a weekly or bi-weekly phone call with her to keep track of everything going on with your son.

 

My husband and I (along with retired teacher mother-in-law) have been discussing the options. We are trying not to run to the principal whining - but forgetting the kids? I am trying to keep emotions out, but it is my kid. My life has been full of crazy surprises that make me hypersensitive.

We have been meeting with her every other week. The first month of school was terrible. My son was testing her and she didn't know him well enough to realize it and put it to a stop. Two weeks ago, he was nominated for the school hall of fame. We are all over the place.

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I dunno, CDMC. I remember your other thread about how your son is not doing his school work, and you were annoyed with the teacher for not parenting your son enough on this issue. Is it possible that you're making her an outlet for your own frustrations with your sons grades and other challenges in school? Because if so, I follow the emotional trail, but it also then might be time to step back and take a deep breath before reacting to this.

 

Right - it is. I have been biting my tongue and trying to react without emotion but it is my nature. Thanks for the advise. I will take a few more days to think.

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How much are you involved in his schoolwork and mentoring? Are you able to volunteer in the classroom, if the school allows something like that?

 

Is it possible you're expectin the teacherto do too much for your son that should otherwise come from home?

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Right - it is. I have been biting my tongue and trying to react without emotion but it is my nature. Thanks for the advise. I will take a few more days to think.

 

If your son isn't dong his school work there isn't much the teacher can do - it's you as the parent that has to step up on that. He may see the teacher as a temporary person in his life - as we usually change teachers every year of our school career - but you as the parent are constant. to be fair, it's not like it was when I was in school. My school was still alloweed to spank us kids when I was in middle school - teachers are SO restricted nowadays and if they step one foot out of line, parents come down on them - hard.

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Could you ask that he be moved to a class with a more experienced teacher?

 

There are two 4th grade classes with 30 kids each. All I really think I would do is make the other teacher upset. Our teacher is young, she travels a long distance for school and it is her first teaching job. I wish that there was an easy fix. My son gave her a hard time the first month and he was punished at home for it. He still has 1 hour a day for tv, computer or games. No more. Two weeks ago, he was was in the school hall of fame so I know that he is trying hard. I have considered moving him from the school - but this school is where my kids have gone. He has grown up with all of friends here and wants to be with them. I don't want to push this teacher out - but I can't trust her.

 

I think it is time to speak with the principal even thought I don't want to throw her under the bus.

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I just read your posts from the thread about the teacher that you previously posted and it does seem to me that you are expecting your teacher to be a parent and not a teacher. Almost like b/c he's at school, you're relinquished of all your parental duties.

 

Your son needs some guidance. He's openly defying the teacher and it seems to me that you are using her as a scappegoat to keep from admitting that your son is having extreme behavioural issues. It doesn't matter if this is her first year teaching or her 20th year teaching...it's time to get a grip on your son's issues and lay down some sort of law. Instead of saying "The teacher did this! How shoudl I react to her?" you may need to be saying "Well, Jr., this is a consistent problem taht you are having with her, and we need to deal with it together, whether you like it or not."

 

My sister teaches 4th grade and I hear all the time how she has students openly defy her and how the parents expect her to fix it, to get a hold of her class, and to basically shape their personality into wonderful, behaving, polite students but parents so often forget taht that sort of thing begins at HOME. And she's said to me multiple times it's those parents who have those expectations who belong to the most troubling students. She's been teaching 8 years now adn it's been the same each year.

 

So if this is a consistent thing, it's time to look at your son and fix that problem (in what ways, I don't know, b/c I am not a parent so I am not sure waht the right advice woudl be there) instead of finding a way to blame the teacher.

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