wheelerdealer Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Ok so this girl who lives close to me "winked" at me on Match like 3 weeks or so ago. We emailed for a bit and then started texting a little and talking on the phone. We went on our first date about 2 weeks ago, nothing too crazy just dinner and a little walk around this park with a coy pond. We had another date about 2 days later, dinner and a movie. We usually talk during the day, either by phone or a text conversation back and forth. We just went on our third date today, it was a little hike. I think we get along well, she's very cute, I make her laugh etc, she'll say something and sort of touch my arm, and I love her eyes, and I get a good vibe from her overall. Ok anyway... Here's the thing. I'm a recovering alcoholic, I do A.A and stuff because it helps keep me sober. Well on my match profile it says I don't drink, and like a week after we started talking she asked me in a text, "have you never drank? or did you quit to get your >removed> together?" I just replied that I quit to get my together (which is the truth.) Well towards the end of our hike today it sort of got brought up again in that she was asking a little more about when I quit and stuff and I think looking for more information. She mentioned that her mother does A.A, even though she's only been drunk once in her life, which I thought was very strange but that's unrelated. I felt like that was the time to tell her about my situation and that I do A.A and sort of tell her about why I quit and stuff, but I couldn't do it. Now by not telling her I feel like I've been dishonest. It's difficult for me because I don't want to scare her away, but at the same time I'm thinking this is a part of who I am and it's not fair to withhold it from her so she can make a decision as to whether or not this is a deal breaker in moving forward. I really struggle with the label of "alcoholic" and the stereotype that comes along with it. I've had to do a lot of work on my self esteem because of it. Sometimes it's like I've got a huge strike against me out of the gate in terms of dating... But it is what it is and I can't go back or pretend I'm something that I'm not. We have another date set up for this Sunday, a day thing at a local park and I really want to get this out in the open. Do you think she will go back to our conversation today and see it as me being dishonest with her? Or do you think it's a deal breaker as in why is this guy laying out baggage this early? She hasn't really mentioned drinking much accept today a little, but what I would consider just normal social stuff. God I wish sometimes this wasn't even an issue Thanks for any advice and sorry for the length. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.