Figuring out an order for important things

[im rly mad]

I've been stuck for a while now trying to figure out what to do. Trying to figure out what I want to do, and trying to figure out the sequence in which I should do these things. Essentially, I am at a point in my life where I am so concerned with making my next decision that I am almost paralyzed with fear, so I remain in limbo.

 

I am 20 and in college right now, I've tried to figure out if that is the right place for me and I am not sure really. The only reason I am really going is because I have a scholarship and my family expects me to get a degree; not that I would be shunned if I didn't get it, but its what they see me doing. I'm in a program I am pretty sure I enjoy (film), but I am constantly worried about whether I'm doing it because I like it or because I feel like it "suits" me in a way that other people would see me.

 

I want to see a psychologist, but I am very concerned about money and I would hate myself if I let myself drop thousands of dollars on appointments only to get me nowhere. I have seen psychologists in the past and can't say they've really helped with my issues, but maybe I didn't find the right one.

 

I also want to travel, but I can't tell if its because I feel like thats what I should want to do, or if I genuinely want to. I do want to find the place I'd like to live someday, but I don't want to choose the wrong place. I know I can always change my mind, I just don't want to waste time.

 

So what it comes down to is that I am extremely indecisive and paralyzed by fear. I don't want to waste time or make a decision I regret. I realize that is inevitable, but I want to be happy, just like everybody else. There are issues I need to conquer, such as getting over my severe regret for my time wasted on things like video games as a child and my indecisiveness, but I do not know how to go about facing these things. People recommend psychologists, but there has to be a certain level of compatibility and I don't know how to measure that.

 

Have you been so stuck like this that eventually you just broke out and did something random that shifted something in your brain? Or ended up somewhere different? How did you reach that point? Any help would be really appreciated.

 

Thank you.

[LDRohnos]

You're putting way too much on your plate. Don't try to plan everything at once that's just going to lead you to a nervous breakdown and stress. Focus on what you're doing today, which is your education. Just focus on that and do it to the best of your abilities. Everything else can wait.

 

Also, don't try to live up to others expectations of yourself (such as your parents). You're going to make mistakes, everyone does. That's how you learn. Just take things one day at a time.

 

You might want to think about talking to your doctor about anxiety medication if she/he thinks that will help you...but you can control it yourself if you take it one step at a time. I had the same issue in college.

[thejigsup]

All of the thiings you are worried about work themselves out in time. Like about 10 - 15 years worth of time. I have had three careers during my life. Most people have more than one or two in the course of their lives. It's normal. Just enjoy being young and let adult decisions wait until you are an adult. For now, do your best in college and enjoy it. You get so much more out of college than just a degree. If you worry too much right now you will miss that. As far as traveling goes, that takes money and can wait awhile. Scared to make a mistake? That means you are scared of life. Don't do that. We all make mistakes. I've made a few and guess what? I'm still alive and enjoying life!

[meoww]

My suggestion is to not place artificial or arbitrary limits on what you should or should not be doing. It sounds like you're an energetic person with many different interests--I say pursue as many as you like : ) You'll eventually connect with people who are the same way. Being somewhat gifted in multiple disciplines can benefit your career--no matter how narrowly you may choose to eventually specialize.

 

And travel!! at 20, you'll be so receptive to your environment and you can stay in all sorts of cheap accommodations--it's really no big deal.