He confesed me his love before going to business meeting and then slept with HER

[PrettyGood]

So my new boyfriend who confessed me his love and gave me so many empty promises about our life together, happiness, marriage and even future children had to go to meet one woman for this weekend. She had to help him open his private clinic. But I knew she had a crush on him (1st red flag!). He knew that also and he wanted to get as much benefit from her as possible by giving her false hope. We agreed that it's a risky thing and I didn't want him to risk our friendship for all of that. I don't need that. But he promised me that he will NEVER sleep with her.

 

The day before going to another city to meet her he told me that hotels are too expensive so he will live in her house (2nd red flag!) Then I've read that woman's online blog and found out that she's waxing her legs before meeting him. (3rd red flag!) and the next day when he needed to talk to her with her colleagues they went to the cinema together (4th red flag). Finally today I've read her blog how he was snoring, talking during sleep and hold her in his iron grip for all the night.

 

This just crushed my heart to pieces. He left his ex girlfriend (5th red flag!) to watch over his dogs while he's not at home. She's so naive still hoping they can get back together that I was so angry and I sent her the link to that girl's blog. Probably he was also lying to his ex that he's going only for business purpose (not to break her heart too) so I wanted her to know all the truth before I dump him. I'm not sure if I've done it right, because now when a time passed I feel stupid. Also removed him from FB and wrote him a nice sms that "I'm sorry I've read her blog and we just can't be together. I gave you only 1 change and you broke my heart". So he replied like nothing had happened calling me very nice and saying that they just slept together but had no sex. And I still can't believe him. I wrote that I just can't go like this more and the only 1 way to prove me he cares sincerely is to buy plane tickets to fly visit me (because not I'm for business purposes abroad. So it's like a LDR for 1 week already).

[Bunney]

It was very obvious to me he was going to sleep with her the minute you posted your other thread about him. And I'm pretty certain he visited her fully intending on doing that.

 

Even if he did not sleep with her, it's just so disrespectful to meet someone with the excuse of "business", sleep in her house and go on "dates" together like cinema. It just speaks volumes about his lack of consideration and respect for you, and implies that all his talk about love and marriage and kids was nothing but pure BS (sorry, this is common though).

 

This man is trash, good for you cutting your losses. Now its time to move on!

[Smile12]

It was very obvious he was going to sleep with her the minute you posted your other thread about him. And I'm pretty certain he visited her fully intending on doing that.

 

Even if he did not sleep with her, it's just so disrespectful to meet someone with the excuse of "business", sleep in her house and go on "dates" together like cinema. It just speaks volumes about his lack of consideration and respect for you, and implies that all his talk about love and marriage and kids was nothing but pure BS (sorry, this is common though).

 

This man is trash, good for you cutting your losses. Now its time to move on!

 

^ I couldn't agree more.

[RedDress]

I wrote that I just can't go like this more and the only 1 way to prove me he cares sincerely is to buy plane tickets to fly visit me (because not I'm for business purposes abroad. So it's like a LDR for 1 week already).

 

What???

 

He cheated on you. There's nothing to prove. The proof is in her blog.

 

Even if no sex happened (I don't believe that at all - but if you really want to bring your mind there) - how is it in any way respectful to sleep in her bed and "hold her in his iron grip".

 

He cheated. And he's not even remorseful. Done.

[browneyedgirl36]

Oh, my. Why on earth would you give this guy a chance to prove anything at all?

 

He's a cheater, and as RedDress said, he's not even remorseful. Why are you even still talking to him?

[andreea]

well, it seems like you realized everything is to be realized about him, I know it hurts, a few months ago I would say to you that "I am sorry", now I am saying just be happy you find out now what kind of a man you were dating, when is not too late... yes, we all see all kinds of red flags during a relationship, we are just keep ignoring things until it s too late... but please just don't give him another chance even if he will buy plane thickets and stuffs like that, I hope your "dignity" costs more than a plane ticket...

his "calmness", when he lied about his affair "we were just sleeping together" is so obvious, please don t believe it!!! How stupid these men think we are after all???

[HeartGoesOn]

And I still can't believe him. I wrote that I just can't go like this more and the only 1 way to prove me he cares sincerely is to buy plane tickets to fly visit me (because not I'm for business purposes abroad. So it's like a LDR for 1 week already).

 

Why would you want him to visit you?

[Mesemene]

No second chances. Seriously, do you want to be his ex, looking after his dogs, while he's getting his ego stroked by another woman?

 

He had you, he had his ex waiting in the wings, and still needed a third woman to satisfy his need to feel wanted??? From what you've said, one woman will never be enough for this guy to feel fulfilled and happy, he needs prospects and backups.

 

Don't be one of 'em, leave him in your dust.

[slyestia]

I want to start by saying I am sorry for what you are going through.

Right now,you are probably a big pile of confusing thoughts,reruns of your moments together,and questions you can't find answers to.

I know you're thinking that the person you loved,trusted,and were in a deep relationship with won`t treat you that bad.But sometimes,people can either change,or never reveal themselves,not even to their own persons.How many times have you surprised yourself by doing something completely out of your character.

And maybe it wasn't all lies,because you don`t seem like a dim-wit,so don`t consider your relationship a big fat pile of lies.However,you need to get your head around it.HE cheated.Reasons don`t matter.He offended you,everything you had,and everything he was to you.There's no going back from that,because acts like these,tend to leave a mark.On both of you.If you forgive him,he might do it again and think you'll forgive him again.And even if he doesn't,next time he goes on a business trip,will you be able to sleep at night knowing he used it as a ruse before?I doubt it.

My sincere advice is to hang on,seek support from whoever is close to you,and start learning how to live without him.

[MaryJane2011]

You guys should have stopped at the first red flag.

[PrettyGood]

Ugh, it's just hit my ego so much I can't even go to sleep now. He called me and we talked by phone over an hour. He was kicked out to the hotel by her, because she has children and she didn't want to show him to them. He was a little bit angry because she did NOTHING about that business meeting and just turned him around her finger (she's smart). Finally she gave him more empty promises and now he wants to be friends with him.

 

What is worse that he mentioned that there WAS a sofa to sleep in the next room, but he slept with her because he thought that if they don't have sex then it's not so wrong! He didn't thought about my emotions and during that conversation he was basically apologizing me, promising NEVER ever sleep next to someone again and begging me NOT to break up with him. He was talking about his feelings to me and was angry that everything happened in vain. Also he mentioned that his ex was very angry because he couldn't return tonight (she knew the same reason as me) and she had to watch over his dogs for one more night (I think it was more kind of paranoya similar to mine, that he's sleeping with someone else, cause she's jealous).

 

I told him that the only chance he has is to buy plane tickets to my country and to spend winter holidays with me. But then he began complaining about his busy working schedule (he's working night shifts). I said it's not my problem. So he was angry saying "I don't need those F... chances, I need you in my life!" But it didn't made any better for me. He begged me to approve him as a FB friend again and I did it, but an hour later I looked at her blog again and saw his comment about "lovely" weekend they had. Wow...

 

My question is: Do you think I was right sending a link to his ex about his "new" girl he visited to find out what he was doing for real?

[MaryJane2011]

He has no idea what love/respect/trust is. And you don't either...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What's so special about this guy that all these women are willing to sacrifice their dignity in order to be with him? He really is just a sweet-talking loser.