How To Give Him Space the right way??

[amyg091]

So my boyfriend is going through a lot right now and he's become a bit withdrawn and he needs some space. SO my question is...how do I give him space the right way?

Is it okay to text him and say "hey baby i hope you have a great day?"

Is sending a sexy text too forward?

I just want him to know that I am here for him whenever he is ready to come back to me, and that I"m not upset for him taking his space. I love him very much and I know a lot of girls drive their men away by being needy and clingy when a guy takes his space.

So...men...what should your girl do to give you space the right way?

[Naomi99]

I don't know what to tell you. The logical thing would be to honor his request. However, my exboyfriend of 10 years wanted some space back in June. I gave it to him. No contact for 2.5 months, and he's proclaiming to be in another relationship with a chick younger than me on FB.

 

I would try to resolve the issues you might be having with him first before you let him have his space. Once he's gone, anything can happen. And it is out of your control.

[Ms Darcy]

Best advice is to do your own thing and let him contact you. Then be positive and encouraging.

[sadchick83]

That's really isn't giving him space....I would just disappear.

[offplanet]

I don't know what to tell you. The logical thing would be to honor his request. However, my exboyfriend of 10 years wanted some space back in June. I gave it to him. No contact for 2.5 months, and he's proclaiming to be in another relationship with a chick younger than me on FB.

 

I would try to resolve the issues you might be having with him first before you let him have his space. Once he's gone, anything can happen. And it is out of your control.

I think she should give him his space properly, ie not be texting him at all. The fact that you didn't do this yourself is not necessarily the reason your man found another girl. If you had stayed in contact with him through texting etc that wouldn't have meant he would not found someone else. I don't honestly think it would have. He seemed hell bent on radical change in his life, which would naturally mean finding someone else eventually. I'm reminded of that saying about if you love someone, let them go. If they truly love you, they will return, and if they don't truly love you, then what use? To the OP I think, don't text at all. It's only likely to irritate him as he has requested the space. You don't want to irritate him. That would not be attractive to him. What would be attractive would be being calm and strong and self reliant.

[Naomi99]

That's what I did....disappear. And look what happened. He got another gf in the interim.

[LDRohnos]

Well...then in your case it wasnt meant to be. One thing I've learned more than all others is you cannot force someone to "stay" or be "in love". If they're gone they're gone.

[amyg091]

Thanks for the advice.

I know every girl says this, but I do think he loves me and cares for me. HE's withdrawn but when he does text me they're sweet and reassuring.

So, go completely textless. That's not saying I don't care, right? I guess that would make him miss me though. If it's meant to be.

[meoww]

I think in your case LC would be better than NC. After a couple of weeks of not speaking or texting, you could plan something fun for the two of you to do together. Like buy some tickets to a sporting event or something, nothing too sentimental. Then, relax and try to have a good time, no tears or expectations. He might start to slowly loosen up if feels like the pressure's off.

 

Eventually he's got to reign himself back in though. Don't let him get away with too much, if he starts acting unreliable, you'll know it's not working.

 

I also suggest not sending out any overt sexual signals--that might give him the wrong idea. You want him to respect you. So no sexy pictures or texts until you're sure he wants to be with you, he might like it but he still might not respect it. It'll be hard but way better than giving your heart away to someone that might not stay with you.

[Voguester]

Why do people always say they need 'space'? To me I think it's a sign there's something wrong with the relationship because if he wants to talk to you and spend time with you then he will, right? This space talk is BS.

[LDRohnos]

Sometimes people need space for selfish/personal reasons that have very little to do with the relationship, at least not directly. Obviously if someone is married or they have children "taking a break" is in my opinion a non-option, at least not for any substantial period of time. Before that though, if someone needs a break while I think it's selfish sometimes it's necessary for the relationship to actually mature. Of course, taking a break doesn't mean that you go dating other people...sometimes people need to be alone for awhile to sort out their own thoughts or correct a problem in their lives that they need the space to do so.

[banal]

Why do people always say they need 'space'? To me I think it's a sign there's something wrong with the relationship because if he wants to talk to you and spend time with you then he will, right? This space talk is BS.

 

You're right. I was just about to post this, but you beat me to the punch. When someone's seriously committed to a relationship, he doesn't just "need space" and disappear for weeks at a a time. Sure, he may ease up on the amount of contact. You may go from seeing him three times a week to just once. He may not call you as often as you're used to. Texting may become non-existent. But he doesn't totally DISAPPEAR. That says, while he may need space, he certainly doesn't need you - and it's only a matter of time before he bails.