I broke his heart, now I need him back. I wont live w/o him.

[sockittomecakes]

My boyfriend and I were together for 4 and a half years and I love him very much. We spent all of our time together and there was really no room for friends. I really felt like he was the only one in the world who loved me. He was always there for me even though I could be a stubborn pain in the but sometimes. We even made plans to get married this summer. After talking with a friend I was convinced I wasn't ready. When I told him he didn't even seem effected and it made me feel like he never even cared. I had also met some new friends and my boy and I stopped hanging out. After just one night of clubbing with friends I told boyfriend we should be friends. I wanted to have fun after realizing that i never had that freedom before. I also made a mistake I spent the night at a guys house (nothing sexual) however we did kiss. I was attracted to him and he was drawn to me. I loved that he could talk to me which was something my long time boyfriend just wouldn't do. I didn't come home some nights b/c my co-ed sleepovers were always a good time, fun and new. I would probably come home twice a week. The guy that I kissed was a little more into me than I thought though. He started telling me he loved me and how he's never been with anyone like me and that he loved me. I in return cleared up that I was not his girlfriend to cover the blow and I told him I loved him too. He was really nice and I never wanted to hurt him meanwhile not thinking of the one I really loved. After a month and a half of hanging out I realized I was just really playing games with them both. I was going back to my now ex for sex (not love making) because he didn't even respect me. And occasionally sharing a kiss with the new person. I tried to leave the new person alone after a while but I felt bad b/c he was doing nice things for me, he respected me, complimented me, and I told him "I loved him". My ex knew about everything after me lying about it for months now. Not only did I want him back but soon after I came to my senses i suspected all that sex got me pregnant. I dont expect him to all of a sudden care b/c I'm pregnant but he should be sensitive. His eaction makes me wonder if he ever really loved me. That caring person I knew for 4 1/2 years was gone. He said some of the worst things I've ever heard. He told me to get rid of it. I refuse to have an abortion. Later after seeing a pregnacy test b/c all of his trust for me is gone he feels better about it but not me. He tells me after only 3months he's not in love with me any more, he doesnt respect me and he tells me I'm a liar. I want to fix things between us because deep down inside i know he still loves me. We fight a lot b/c I get jealous when he goes out like I used to do. We've had sex recently a few times and he shoved his penis down my throat and I just felt like trash. He does hurtful things and I feel I deserve it so i take it hoping he'll take me back. Nothing has worked, I have apologized countless times and he doesn't even believe me when I tell him I love him. He's debating moving because he say i cant handle a friendship with him and my nagging is driving me crazy. I don't know what else to do or say to him to make him stay. I stay home all day now and cry my eyes out and if he's there he ignores me. It hurts b/c I just want him to care about me. I dont want to go through a pregnacy alone. I dont want to keep him away from his new life I just want to be a part of it. What should I do I just need a second chance? I swore to him I'd never do anything else to hurt him. Could you forgive me? Why would he still have sex with me? Should I back off? Please I need some advice because I really don't see myself living without him and I seriously don't think I can. What can I say to win him back?

[ryan14]

I believed this guy is really damaged big time, he hates you ( sorry for being harsh ) just want you to step back and see the whole picture.

 

At this point (temporaryly) there is nothing you could say or do to win him back ( sorry for being harsh again ) but dont loose hope, I know its really hard for you at this moment, but please take care of yourself...its bad for you and the baby for being depressed. and please stop the sex it will hurt you more.

 

Go to your parents for the meantime...you need emotional support on your pregnancy, dont think about him...think about yourself and the baby, i know its hard but if you stay away from him it would be less painful seeing him ignoring you.

 

if your to clingy or needy you will push him further away and never want you and the baby back.

[odysseus77]

yeah...I'd have to say he does hate you, and highly disrespects you...you damaged him pretty bad...i'm not trying to be mean or harsh either but im just telling it the way it is...as for why he would still want the sex? He's a guy, he'll take the sex because he's horny, thats about it...dont try to get him back anymore, it will just make things worse on you, and push him further away. I am also the type that really doens't give second chanced to someone who stabbed me in the back (has happened)...if he is ever willing to try to work things out, he'll find you. Move out and think about tha baby...Some mistakes we just can't fix, sorry if it was harsh

[Clarabelle]

I'm not judging you, because God knows I relate to your situation, but the circumstances of your break-up sound like they dealt a real blow to your ex-bf's pride. Many people when their pride is hurt will react with anger and violence. I'm not saying it's right. It's how they have learned to deal with it and until they realize that it doesn't work, they will continue to use anger and violence to handle their strong feelings that they cannot express any other way. Even if you had stayed together, I believe that you would have seen this side of him eventually - some other stress would have brought it out. You need to do what you can to feel peace and happiness while you are pregnant. The baby picks up so much of your feelings. Talk to your friends and family. Let loving people around you take care of you. All the best to you and your little one.

[sockittomecakes]

I have decided to have an abortion because i can't do this alone. I can only image what stress will arrive when the baby got here. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Thanks for your replies I needed some help.

[DragonGirl724]

you question HIS love for YOU for not being sensitive?? are you crazy?? i dont think YOU know what LOVE is!!! real love doesnt cheat or mess with minds nor does it consciously destroy hearts!!! dont expect him back. i know if i were him, id probably just tell you off, erase you from my memory & never look back ever! sorry to be so bold, but i have ZERO tolerance for people who cheat! sorry.

 

-DG724

[sockittomecakes]

Your right I shouldn't expect him back. We were however broken up when all this went on but still living together. I broke up with him first though, i just started with someone else all too fast for him and myself. Believe it or not I do love him. However I was not thinking straight when I broke up with him because I was too harsh with it. But he does deserve someone better then I was. I just wanted another chance to be that person I think he deserves.

[DragonGirl724]

life is all about experiences & learning from them...just know for next time. good luck, more so to him, b/c as much as youre hurting, hes hurting more. youre feeling more guilt than anything, hes feeling used. just realize that the next time a good opportunity for a real man comes knockin at your door, dont slam it in his face. & as for what defines 'cheating', cheating, at least to me, doesnt always involve sex or relationships, its more so playing someone for the fool. my suggestion, appologize your butt off! & mean it! but do so w/o expecting him back, do it to make your heart feel more at ease. you screwed up, yeah, but havent we all screwed up & hurt someone at one point in our lives... in life we all have regrets & have made mistakes, big, small doesnt matter, its LEARNING from them & bettering ourselves from them, that makes 'mistakes' worth living for.

 

-DG724

[outrageousxo]

yah

[sockittomecakes]

Its official he's moving. I decided I won't try and stop him anymore. He wants to g so I'll let him. I'm with you guys I really do think he hates me.

[stolenshadow]

Hi, I obviously can't tell you what to do but I think you might feel better if you accept the situation the way it is now.

 

You have to learn from your mistakes yes, and this was a very big mistake so make a good lesson out of it, see what good thing can come out, and if this guy wants to leave let him do so, make his life easy, don't make him feel guilty, accept it and apologize, deal with this the best way you can.

 

Also, what makes you feel you can't have the baby "alone"?, sure, it will be hard, but you can do this girl, you can follow this opportunity and how do you know if it'll be one of the best things to happen to you?, it'll give you happiness and you will be ready to accept it, not everybody has the chance to have a supportive father but your baby will have a great mother, what else would it need?.

 

Don't let this break-up affect your whole life, don't let this make you feel like you don't deserve to smile again, say you are sorry and don't make the same mistakes, now you learnt something and you only became wiser and stronger.

 

Best Wishes to you.

[Altar000Altar]

I am fairly sensitive on these things, but (PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR)????

 

His point of view. He DOES love you, but how the hell is he supposed act? You hurt him big time. He is confused, does not know how you really feel (Why should he believe words???), he does not trust you anymore, and most of all lost faith in you. He does not know to keep you around, to hate you, to love you, to cry for you, to be disgussed by you, or still turned on by. He does not know.

 

As for you, can you be any more selfish?? Have you ever asked him what he wants? By your posts, everything you have done has been for you (Everything from the break up to the abortion). What have you done for him? Even now, after YOU are the bad guy, you want to hurt him even more.

 

Sorry to be harsh, but what do you expect from the guy. Have you ever wondered what you could do for him?

[sockittomecakes]

I wasn't being selfish about the abortion what so ever. When I told him about the baby he said these words and I quote," Get rid of it." and then rolled over and went to sleep. I was excited about the baby. I'm even having some regrets but his words to me while I was pregnant were unbearable. No pain I've caused him makes it ok to put me down and call me stupid. Thank you for your harsh words though. But I am being selfish about rushing him back into a relationship with me. Probablly because I see him treating other girls the way he treated me 5 years ago. Just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I cant hurt too.

[Scout]

People, some of the comments are starting to verge on disrespectful and/or flaming. Please tone it down, or this topic will get locked. If a poster's situation provokes a strong opinion from you, that's ok, but make sure you word it in a respectful, non-flaming manner. I've said this many times, but it's what sets us apart from other Internet sites where verbal abuse runs rampant.

[lilybud]

your ex is going thru a love/hate relationship with you. his moving out is a sign of him wanting to move on without you in his life ..... whether he succeed in moving on, only time will tell. but you should not place your hopes high.

 

your priority in life now is your baby. am not sure if you have had your abortion. regardless, my advice to you is that you should get parental support. this is where you will find unconditional love and support. it's difficult to walk this road on your own.

 

you have done wrong. repent and move forward. life has to go on - with or without him