Debra_Wilson Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I don't care to share my story, however what I want to do is get over him and move on with my life. It's been about 6 months and I still miss him and think about as it was yesterday. I haven't seen or made any contact with them in those 6 months and I've really been going through a trying period. I had a falling out with a best friend of 10 years over something and we haven't spoken in 2 months. Those two were the closest to me and I feel really lost and alone in my life.I've been trying to keep myself busy but even when I'm out,I still find myself thinking about them whether it's at work,gym or whatever. I can't seem to take my mind off of them and I'm worrying if it's becoming a tad bit obsessive. It's just sad how so much have changed over in the past year. I was truly happier then but I just seem to have lost everything... I'm trying to move forward but it's hard. I've tried to date more but no guy has really sparked my interest in the slightest... Link to comment
Makeit Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Im right with you. Feel the same about my x. As well as nobody else sparking my interest. They say time heals everything. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm in the same situation as you, so I'm not really one to give advice but just know you're not alone. It's been 7 months for me, and I still think about him every waking minute, with very few things taking him off my mind. I also haven't had a guy spark my interest, but I've still been forcing myself to date casually just for the sake of keeping things flowing. Dating doesn't have to go somewhere. It's just so you know there's someone else out there who actually wants to be with you. I also had a falling out with most of my friends because they were criticizing the fact that I'm not over it yet, and a few others saying we were meant to be together and whatever. But neither of that helps so I've been focusing on things to better myself (work, school, etc). It's actually been helping. If you need to talk, PM me! You're not alone in this. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Been 5 months today for me, I feel the same as you. I then got in a fight with a friend (not super close, I don't have any super close girlfriends)but I counted her as a friend for 20 yrs. I'm 56. I'll make up with her soon. It's just that we are extra stressed right now, and everything makes us snap....at least that is the way with me...of course my friend would make anyone snap. I have seen 10 guys from a dating site...none of them were any good. Maybe we should give up for a year...until we're completely over ex, no one will come close. I know I was obsessed over him for the 4 years we were together...that's why I couldn't let him go, even when he had a new woman...course he was stringing me along...but whatever. The pain has finally quit. But I'd take him back in a heartbeat. Link to comment
22n32 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 After period of 6 months might be good idea just to go on some dates. Doesn't mean u have to dare them.. its good to get out and see diff things.. Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I don't know if dating is a good idea, especially if you aren't ready. I tried it and I didn't mesh with anyone and it just made me think about how much my ex and I really did fit Doesn't help if what you're trying to do is get over him. Link to comment
Debra_Wilson Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Dating doesn't really help in my opinion.All I did on my dates was nitpick and compared each of my dates to my ex and when I found out they didn't really carry any of the traits that my ex did, I found myself losing interest. Plus I just haven't felt compatible with anyone that I've went out with. There have been times where I would wander off into space thinking about how much better this would be if it was my ex and I out on that date instead of the guy I'm with.. Ugh I just want him out of my mind... Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Dating doesn't really help in my opinion.All I did on my dates was nitpick and compared each of my dates to my ex and when I found out they didn't really carry any of the traits that my ex did, I found myself losing interest. Plus I just haven't felt compatible with anyone that I've went out with. There have been times where I would wander off into space thinking about how much better this would be if it was my ex and I out on that date instead of the guy I'm with.. Ugh I just want him out of my mind... It was like that for me too. I tried a date at a 4-month mark, and I went home crying after I kissed the guy. I was dating one for a whole month, and we just parted ways because I knew it was taking me too much time to even make a first move, or letting him make a move. But with the last one, I've been noticing I'm comparing him less and less to my ex. I've probably just compared them once, and it was to the new guy's favor (much smarter and more ambitious). It doesn't have to mean anything, it's just to get yourself used to doing things that are completely unrelated to your ex. Sometimes you have to force yourself do to stuff. Maybe dating isn't your thing but have you tried anything else? School? Gym? Something goal-oriented? Link to comment
beacon Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I compare every woman to my ex.. near, far, movie, tv, magazine.. I'm a bit of a mess in that area. I've had opportunities to date and have spent time with a couple of people but after many drinks. Once the alcohol wore off, anxiety absolutely crushed me. I've never experienced this after many years of dating and a few LT relationships. At the moment, I can only think of her. I wish you the best in getting through this because I know where you are. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I've been BU'd for a year. He faked me out and led me to believe we were getting back together until March of this year. Anyway, I will tell you it gets better. To be truly over your ex may take a year. I strongly suggest not dating at all. Throw yourself into an activity and before you know it another few months will pass and you will be over the hump. For me it is golf. I become like obsessed. Im also doing a major home reno. Going to the gym is not enough. I had some issues with my best friend, so we do not speak anymore. Basically shed the crap from your life, plan some exciting activities and start healing from within: Yoga, meditation, whatever. But, start off by spoiling yourself. Time heals, and the more you can distract yourself with an activity you love, the sooner you will be fully healed--then you can start dating. I was miserable at 6 months as well, but now the old me is back, but better and wiser. I promise you there is like this magical threshold that is not necessarily measured by time, but rather a good 2 months of spoiling yourself. Once you hit this point everything is going to fall into place. Link to comment
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