Online lying

[videogirl]

My online bf just broke up with me. I am in asia he is in america. He said that he wanted to know about my culture and be friends, and I said I can help him get to know more about my culture. God knows I never lied to him. When we were just friends, he was showing me his car and his house in pictures or web cams, and told me how much money he is making every month and promising that if I am ready to see america he will send money and he will love me and pamper me, and he is coming to meet me, so many promises. I got to tell him everything about my problems before I said yes to him, and he was a very good advicer, most of the time he asked what I feel how he could help, and I told him that I need money and he will stop sending until he comes here so I dont have to leave home to work abroad for a job that I dont like and will be unhappy, he kept saying he wants me to be happy, so I told him to send money, and he asked how much he should send, I said $300, he said double, and he told me he'll send weekly, I told him $300 is is ok he asked if I was sure and I said yes. I wasnt attracted about how much money he earns, I really believed he is true because of the way he talks, he emailed me all the time and very long too even after we just chatted. and I always need people who can give good advice, he isnt even my dream guy, he isnt cute and I always like cute guys. 2 days ago he said he doesnt want to continue our relationships and he couldnt help me, I asked why he told me the truth about him, his car is gone, he is earning $300+ a week only and he has many monthly bills to pay. I dont hate him. He lied, but he said he didnt it's just fate, but he also apologised, and I forgave him. I am born again and I read the Bible. I told him that it doenst matter if he lied, the important now that he told me the truth and his conscience is bothering him that is why he told the truth, but he still tells me, he is not a liar, and I am the one who is dishonest because he was annoyed by me talking about God or send him Bible verses that is meant for him. Now, he doesnt want to contact me anymore, and he said he will trash my email and not read them. I told him that we can still be pals even when I get married, and he doesnt want to because I am the one lying to him. He still on my mind, I believe he still keep on thinkin about me. I am confused.

[behind_these_eyes]

That's really tough. He could be a completely different person than you thought. What stinks is that when youre really honest with someone you automatically expect the same thing back, and sometimes it just doesnt work out. You may feel like you're missing out on something, but if he wasn't honest with you from the beginning, he was probably just doing one of those online persona things. It's confusing, but i'd just move on. That's too much stress to have over someone youve never even met.

[Celadon]

Hi videogirl, this is an unfortunate situation. I think both you and this man put hopes in each other, and those hopes did not turn out well.

 

I think he is embarrassed or mad that this relationship didn't turn out how he wanted it, so that's why he is cutting off all ties with you. Many people do that when they're disappointed. If they continue to talk with you, it will hurt.

 

I'm sorry that you are confused by him, but if he did lie to you, it is better that he is not in your life anymore, even online.

[Amoretto]

hi there, first of all, why you ask your friend send money to you? do you really need money? why did you do that? it make me feel you are greedy! second of all, why did you keep talking about God and sending him Bible verses ? some people really do not like these stuff! if i were this guy i would do the same as him...i think you so-called relationship is nothing but just a joke...you should do some self-examination by the way

[Fionazou]

Hey girl,

 

I am sorry to hear that…there are too many dating services website, isn't it? In my opinion, cyber love is rather risky. The practice of romance on the internet is an unrealistic world as idealism. This is not something just about connecting online or online lying, but most importantly is that to learn new social skills. You need to handle cultural conflict, identifying objects of desire, and traditional ethical codes in the different way thinking. Life is just moving on, why don't give him a break, and then you will see something new on your life, right?

 

Good luck~!