blgmike2 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 So I know this might be really dumb. But the last time I heard from my ex was in an email and she told me to leave her alone and to stop contacting her. A couple years later, I get an email notification saying she has requested to follow me on Twitter. My heart sank when I read this email on my blackberry. Two days later, she wrote, "Hey it HAS Been a really long time! How are you? I hope all is well with you!" I wrote her and pretty much said the same thing, saying yes it has, i am well and that i hoped all was well with her. I know what yall will say! "Dont read into anything, she's being friendly" But why would she request to follow my tweets AND send me a message? Could she be missing me some? Why would she not just mention me for everyone to see? Instead she messages me on twitter. I know I need to move on, and I have a little. But she is someone I will always love and care for. This is a setback as I am confused by all of this as I thought she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.... "That’s how you know When it grabs a hold of you and won’t let go When you feel like she’s always been in your soul And as time goes by she’s still surprising you That’s how you know it’s true" After all this time, she still has a hold of me. Those Chris Young lyrics really hit home for me. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 What and who caused the split? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Just read an old post. If she still has the bf it doesn't mean much of anything more than an ego stroke. She may want to see if you're still putting you life on hold for her. This has been going on for 2.5 years. This is very unhealthy! Haven't you received counseling?? Remember, the only one who is holding you from moving on, is you! Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Sure, she may be missing you, but that doesn't mean she wants to get back together. What's important here is, what do -you- hope for from this contact? Link to comment
Doofus Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I don't see what is terribly unhealthy. He still loves her, but it doesn't sound like he's put his life on hold. Read the 'getting back together really does happen' thread. Lots of stories of people reconnecting after 2 years, 10 years, heck even longer than that. Probably, in most of those cases, the love never died. There are people who are married and love their spouse, but still pine, at least a little, for someone in their past. Anyway, my advice to the OP is don't get your hopes up, but don't shut the door either. She wouldn't have contacted you if there wasn't some feelings on her part. That doesn't mean anything will come of it, but it could. And even if reconciliation isn't in the cards now, if you don't blow it, it could be later on. So be cool, but not too cool. Wait for her to make it obvious in some way that she wants to try again before you put yourself on the line. You'll know if she does. Women are usually pretty obvious about such things. Link to comment
Keyman Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I honestly don't think she was missing you, not after 2.5 years. More like, she remembered back and wondered what had become of you. Figured it was long enough to finally become friends and is making moves in that way. What's wrong with a friendship with her? Link to comment
kiwiana Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 My personal experience of contacting my ex after I dumped him was that I missed him greatly and wanted to see what he was up too. She could easily be doing this because she is missing you so I would just play it cool and see what happens Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 If someone has not moved on from an ex after 2,5 years, this is very unhealthy! My God, we have to move on with our lives and not dwell on the past. Plus, she has a boyfriend. Link to comment
Doofus Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Huh... I missed the part where we learned she still has the boyfriend, and, I don't know what you mean by 'moving on with our lives' If you mean 'no longer have feelings for the person' then there's a whole wide swath of the population who have never moved on with their lives after some relationship (or more than one...). Maybe I missed a whole bunch of posts over the last 2.5 years, but it looks to me like the OP has been doing the things we all associate with living in Western society: working eating, even dating it looks like. People don't get back together, most likely, if the feelings between them totally die. And we're all on here because we hope that such might happen for us. And it sometimes does happen to people. And, often, those people are happy because it did. And I would say that, by your definition, it appears that his ex has not moved on either. Contacting an old flame after so long is never just random. Especially given that she's approached him on multiple fronts. Of course, you'd probably say that the fact that, after 2.5 years, she's thought about him enough to do something like this means nothing. Seems a bit inconsistent, somehow. Link to comment
Doofus Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Oh.. and not that I'm rooting for this, but, look, even if she still has a boyfriend, she may be looking to end it with him. Women often will only end a relationship when they're sure they have a safe branch to jump to. And how many people on this forum are here because their ex left to be with their ex? Lots. I just don't think we (maybe I mean I.. ) have enough information to be so discouraging, and, frankly, insulting, to the OP. Link to comment
blgmike2 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Oh.. and not that I'm rooting for this, but, look, even if she still has a boyfriend, she may be looking to end it with him. Women often will only end a relationship when they're sure they have a safe branch to jump to. And how many people on this forum are here because their ex left to be with their ex? Lots. I just don't think we (maybe I mean I.. ) have enough information to be so discouraging, and, frankly, insulting, to the OP. Agreed Doofus. I am not saying I am gonna get back together with her, I have not been dwelling on her. I have moved on but like I said in my post, I am still very much in love with her and will always be in love with her. I dont think it means a whole lot that she contacted me and messaged me, but its gotta mean something. Even if things don't or ARENT going well with her bf, she remembered how good she had it with me and maybe she might come back. I have no idea, im not harping on the situation or crossing my fingers, but I am hopeful and consider this something to rejoice about. I love the girl to death and could never just be friends with her...I'll never move on. As Doofus said, we all have someone that has our hearts....forever. Link to comment
Etijor Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Have you had a partner since breaking up with her? Link to comment
blgmike2 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Have you had a partner since breaking up with her? I've had "partners" yes. I have had flings with certain women, but never dating anyone exclusively since her... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I went to another thread where he said he thinks of her everyday and compares all women to her. If you think this is healthy after 2.5 yrs. then I do not know what to say, except that he's stuck. He's not allowing another into his heart. I hope that the girls know that you haven't moved on from the ex, and it will be a casual situation? I've been in this situation with my ex and it was very painful-he had been divorved for 4 years. That's is why I am taking the position I am. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Also, when someone titles their thread "Finally she contacts me," and states, "I'll never move on" , it says it all. Link to comment
blgmike2 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Also, when someone titles their thread "Finally she contacts me," and states, "I'll never move on" , it says it all. let me rephrase some of that. i will always have something for her. i have moved on. or else i wouldnt doing my "thing" if you catch my drift. i am not sulking or letting it effect me too much right now, def a set back but im fine. if it develops into something further, i'd be up for it! despite what you may think, EVERYONE here has a special someone who has their heart forever and always, and she has mine.... Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 despite what you may think, EVERYONE here has a special someone who has their heart forever and always, and she has mine.... I think that may be the case for some but not all ... many people will eventually find love again. I am one of those people. I married for love ... and for life, so I thought ... and I was broken-hearted when my husband left me 13 years, and 3 children, later. Now, 4 years on, I couldn't be happier and I wouldn't go back for anything. I believe we are all capable of learning to love as much again ... if we allow ourselves to. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I wouldn't read too much into it. Don't let yourself be sucked into this again. I just sent an email to an old ex, just curious how she's doing. You seem entirely too excited, which...means you probably aren't ready for friendship. Link to comment
blgmike2 Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 I wouldn't read too much into it. Don't let yourself be sucked into this again. I just sent an email to an old ex, just curious how she's doing. You seem entirely too excited, which...means you probably aren't ready for friendship. Couldnt agree more. I will never be ready for a friendship with this girl. I love her too much, we cant hang out. Talk maybe online or something, but never in person hangout. I wouldnt call myself excited, but a sense of relief that she has a frigging heart. im glad she contacted me, wants to follow me and see what im doing. not saying things are gonna come out of it but its for sure a start. i know most of you dont agree with that. but i know the type of person she is, she knows how much i STILL care for her, so im surprised she contacted me, and follows my tweets... but as always, thank you for the support and advice yall Link to comment
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