personal finace-relate question at work place

[LAYAAN]

When I was finishing up grad school, I had a car accident. I was the pedestrian who got hit by a car. Suffered some minor injuries. Called my then advisor and told him that I won't be coming in for a few days because of this reason.

 

He was supportive and provided me guidance and asked me to hire a lawyer which I did.

 

Now we decided to settle the case instead of going to the court. My then advisor is now my boss. He is asking me "how much did you get?" He has asked me this question twice already. I'm very uncomfortable revealing the amount. But I still have to work under him. What do I do? What might be his reason behind asking such a personal Q? How do I respond?

Thanks.

[NowandZen]

Tell him you consider that a personal matter, but as nicely as you can.

[LAYAAN]

Is there really any nicer way to put this? English is not my 1st language. What do I say exactly?

[NowandZen]

Is you adviser an English speaker? If so, say:

 

Thank you for your concern about me and my accident. In my culture, such matters are considered personal and I am uncomfortable talking about it.

[LAYAAN]

Yes he speaks English.

Thank you for suggesting a response.

[birdname]

In matters involving a lawyer, my easy out is always "I have been advised not to discuss this."

It differs blame to your lawyer and makes you look less anti-social.

I've used that line on many people who have asked me about how much child support I receive.

[RedDress]

I think he's just curious.

 

Personally, I'd say something like: "Oh, it was enough. Haha (

 

It's none of his business and he should know that. It should just be a matter of pointing it out lightly.

[penelope13]

I have a slightly different take on this (but then, I am not from the US, so it's maybe a cultural thing): since he was supportive during the incidence and he was the one to suggest hiring a lawyer, I think he is just involved and curious on your behalf. I would have thanked him at this point for having giving his support and his advice and give him a bulk figure.

[Ariel85]

Yeah, I don't think the "in my culture" comment ever washes well. If you're living in America, then respect that culture, which is invasive and nosy with no boundaries and a lot of over-sharing. lol

 

I would say, "enough so that I'm glad I didn't have to go to court on it."

 

But, now that we're all here - how much did you get? lol

[NowandZen]

Yeah, I don't think the "in my culture" comment ever washes well. If you're living in America, then respect that culture, which is invasive and nosy with no boundaries and a lot of over-sharing. lol

 

I would say, "enough so that I'm glad I didn't have to go to court on it."

 

But, now that we're all here - how much did you get? lol

 

i suppose that is true. In this country you can be polite but firm

I also think being honest is the best way to go. You are not comfortable talking about it.

[penelope13]

Yeah, I don't think the "in my culture" comment ever washes well. If you're living in America, then respect that culture

 

I think you completely misunderstood me: I made this comment in order to respect the culture where I am living. However, it's not always something that you can learn in a book, or that people can actually point out to you, but something that can be very elusive and intrinsic, basically something that you have to be emerged in for quite some time to really be able to differentiate all the nuances.

 

Since I don't claim to have gained sufficient knowledge to pay sufficient tribute to all the cultural nuances here, I point out this shortcoming of mine straight away, so that someone who is reading my comments, is equally aware that my response may have been influenced by other nuances.

 

I have never made a comment about one being better than another, yet undoubtedly there are differences, some smaller, some bigger.

[Ariel85]

I think you completely misunderstood me: I made this comment in order to respect the culture where I am living. However, it's not always something that you can learn in a book, or that people can actually point out to you, but something that can be very elusive and intrinsic, basically something that you have to be emerged in for quite some time to really be able to differentiate all the nuances.

 

Since I don't claim to have gained sufficient knowledge to pay sufficient tribute to all the cultural nuances here, I point out this shortcoming of mine straight away, so that someone who is reading my comments, is equally aware that my response may have been influenced by other nuances.

 

I have never made a comment about one being better than another, yet undoubtedly there are differences, some smaller, some bigger.

 

Um...unless you're also another poster on here, you're not even the one who made the comment. lol. It was NowandZen who made the suggestion to the OP.

[penelope13]

Sorry, I am definitely NOT NowandZen, but since I mentioned cultural differences, I suppose I jumped to the wrong conclusion since you posted right after me. lol.

[LAYAAN]

I have a slightly different take on this (but then, I am not from the US, so it's maybe a cultural thing): since he was supportive during the incidence and he was the one to suggest hiring a lawyer, I think he is just involved and curious on your behalf. I would have thanked him at this point for having giving his support and his advice and give him a bulk figure.

Thanks. I'm not interested in giving him even a ballpark idea. I just am not comfortable discussing my money with him. Next thing I know its all over the town.

[LAYAAN]

Yeah, I don't think the "in my culture" comment ever washes well. If you're living in America, then respect that culture, which is invasive and nosy with no boundaries and a lot of over-sharing. lol

I would say, "enough so that I'm glad I didn't have to go to court on it."

But, now that we're all here - how much did you get? lol

I should have gotten more, but I didn't because the doctors wrote inconclusive notes. Hence we can't prove that the pain is due to the car hitting me at several different places on my body. Had the doctors' notes been solid, I was going to court and asking for double the amount I got.

[LAYAAN]

I think he's just curious.

Personally, I'd say something like: "Oh, it was enough. Haha (

It's none of his business and he should know that. It should just be a matter of pointing it out lightly.

When he entered into a similar situation, he got only a thousand bucks. The lawyer and the doctor took all of the settlement. So, he is quite upset about that.

Also, a few other colleagues said to me "Why did you hire a lawyer? YOu should have dealt with teh insurance company on your own. They would have worked with you. Yours is a straight case. Your lawyer is getting money for nothing in this. You could make more if you just went to the company on your own." He was against it. I guess, that might be the reason he wants to know. He wants to prove to others that I was benefited by going to the lawyer.

[abitbroken]

I would say "I was lucky. I got enough to be able to replace my car and cover some of my medical bills. I feel very fortunate". And leave it at that.

[LAYAAN]

Thank you abitbroken. Yes, thats a good reply.

[abitbroken]

When he entered into a similar situation, he got only a thousand bucks. The lawyer and the doctor took all of the settlement.

 

People forget that the point of a settlement is to get enough to cover all the medical bills, etc. If the doctor didn't get money, then the person would have thousands or tens of thousands in medical care to pay for outstanding. In fact, almost all the time the hospitals, etc, don't get the full amount they dished out in care, but what they settled for. I think walking away with all expenses paid for, plus $1000k on top of it is actually pretty good with nothing else out of pocket. I think people also forget that the lawsuits where people get millions for pain and suffering are really really rare. By the way, yes, sometimes you can deal with insurance on your own, but often times people give their statements before they really know the situation. For example, you get in a car accident and you say you feel fine, and then after a couple days your body is no longer in shock and you can barely move. But the insurance company had your statement that everything was fine. A lawyer can advocate for you in that regard and sometimes negotiate down bills that you can't. I am not saying every lawyer is wonderful, but I've been through it both ways. I wouldn't get a lawyer for a simple parking lot bumper thing at 5 mph, but if someone has major injuries it is a good idea to consider it, especially if you ultimately have to deal with an underinsured driver or an uninsured driver on the other end.

[LAYAAN]

I think walking away with all expenses paid for, plus $1000k on top of it is actually pretty good with nothing else out of pocket.

No, he didn't get $1000K. He got only $1000.

 

I think people also forget that the lawsuits where people get millions for pain and suffering are really really rare.

This is exactly what my lawyer told me. He said "Since you hired me for my, its my duty to provide legal advice to you. You will not make a lot of money. I have gone over your records, you have gone over your records. You will be shooting yourself in the foot by going to the court. I don't think you can do better than this if you go to court. Also look at the time wasted and efforts involved."