are good girls extinct?

[chanceit]

and obviously the good wife material girls are the ones who are not getting train ramed at a frat party, and if u argue to me that they are fantastic people as well for a girlfriend then you must be delerious.

 

why not - they might be - how would you know for sure when you get married your wife hadn't been to a more than a few of those parties if she appeared to be a 'good girl' - people change over time. Would she tell you about her history with that sort of attitiude?

 

A relationship is about trust - if some one makes a commitment to you - are you too insecure to accept they might have a history even if that is in triple figures lol (ok thats a bit extreme). If they love you and there is trust in the relationship and you love them how can they be bad material.

 

When men sleep around nobody ever says that makes them bad boyfriend material by there mates - they get respect. When a women does it she gets called all sorts of names - how does that work??? Its another example of double standards from us males.

 

I dont care if they help orphans in their spare time and are great people, that DOES NOT mean they could be seriously considered as gf material if every guy in town has been in her pants

 

Maybe every guy in the town has been there pants because you didn't get in them first - ever thought about it that way - they havn't met someone who will treat them right and give them respect. From my experience most people who sleep around are more happy once they are in a stable relationship.

 

i think that that is very immoral in every guy/or girls book who have been taught better

 

I have been taught better: Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself

 

if more people didn't rush to conclusions about people the world would be a happier nicer place to live.

[odysseus77]

it just seems like you are living by some sort of free love atmosphere that was apparent in the 60's. Whether you like it or not, respectable people dont sleep with tons of people that they dont love, its immoral, and if your extremely liberal attitude doesn't live within the limits of morality, than fine...but I do have morals and I abide to them too, I think guys who sleep with tons of girls can't be respected either, I dont slant my judgement based on gender...If you sleep with tons of people out of lust, and without love, how can someone ever possibly respect that....and it is my belief that you do need to respect your partner for some sort of relationship to work. If some girl is just putting out trying to get affection, they obviously are very confused individuals with no self respect, or sense of who they are...and I dont want some confused person as my longterm girlfriend

[Prezkot]

I haven't read all 12 pages, but regarding the topic post, I'll throw my hat into the ring- I am a nice guy who loves to party. I know there are nice girls who like to party too... I just can't find them And also because I don't get too many opportunities to party either.

 

But yeah I feel like most of the girls who are into the nice/cute/funny/serious guy rather than the hot/playful/raunchy guy are really quiet and seem to accept the latter. I just gotta go prove them wrong!

 

Muahahahaha...

[Coyote_the_trickster]

I just came to a big college far away from my home...I came with the hopes of finding many girls like myself, but its the same story every time that I talk to a girl or guy. I ask "what do you do for fun?" its always party, drink, etc. I also over hear girls saying how they dont wat to be "tied down" etc.

 

Adding to my frustrations is that I am a very attractive guy, and am very adventurous, I like motorcycles, jetskis, sports....but i just hate parties, drinking...I like getting to know genuine people one on one...where are the nice girls with morals, the shy girls, girls who will settle down?

 

I feel that all good girls are a myth...I can't seem to find any...

[lusitana]

Sorry Odysseus, it's just that you were comparing people with "loose morals" to Hitler and geez, that's not a good thing...I'm no Anne Frank, that's for sure, but I do believe there aren't very many truly evil people out there....

 

Hey, we all have our personal limits. Some of us have them engraved in granite, some of us don't know we've reached them 'till we're there. I'll admit I'm in the latter group - something snapped unexpectedly when my last crush started bringing girls home from the bar for one-night-stands and bragging about it, especially when he made out with one of my colleagues all night at this event we'd gone to together. He's not a bad person. There are reasons he behaved the way he did (however poor) and he's received a nominal comeuppance. Though nothing he did had anything to do with me (or maybe because it didn't), I still viewed it as a personal attack and the thought of the whole thing made me physically ill. That was months ago. Maybe he has it out of his system now; maybe he hasn't been given the chance to do it again.

 

You think good girls are extinct. I think nice guys are a figment of Capitalist imagination. I'm sure we can respect each other's opinions. I just hope you know that virtually no girl is the perfect angel you're hoping for. Compromise is not a bad thing.

[chanceit]

Hey don't attack my morality personally - i wouldn't want to sleep with loads of people, its not me. Personnally my morals are probably quite similar to yours i don't like to mess people about and and would never enter relationships just for sex with out love.

 

My argument is really:

 

Stop moaning about the fact you can't find any 'good girls' - open you mind a little bit, see what people are really like, give them a chance for you to get to know them - nobody is an angel after all - and you just might find someone you truly love and loves you!

 

And there are alot of girls out there who are not in to the whole going out thing and into sports etc (i.e have simular interests & morals to you) - but you will need to search them out - you won't find them in bars very often - join some clubs at your college which interest you.

 

 

 

That might be because they don't want to seem boring - you are at college after all - its all kinda standard answers even if you don't go to that many parties - ironically because thats exactly what you don't want to hear you don't get to know them better but if you goto know them better you might get closer to the reality and turn out they went to like one party in the last month and that was just a night in with the girls lol!

 

Anyway just a few thoughts.

[catman70]

I'm 33yrs old. Just when you think you found a real genuine girl they rip your heart into 1000 pieces. I thought I found my soulmate. But apparently not. I really though she was a sweet girl with great morales, but she has lied and betrayed me beyond belief.

 

About 2 weeks ago, she told me she needed space to clear her head because she was mad at me for telling her we need to resolve some issues before we think about marriage. She obviously didn't like that answer.

 

Well, I just found out a week ago that my 35yr old beautiful and trusting girlfriend has been seeing another guy for ??? long. I found out the painful truth when I came over her house after she said she was going to bed early.

 

Her excuse, "he is just a long time friend to talk to". I noticed the only light on in her house was the light from the t.v in her bedroom. Obvioulsy, she was doing something with him while she was in bed with him. She still denies she slept with him.

 

Any advice? I think going to church is probably your best hope to find someone decent. I am an attractive guy, but not at all over confident. I tried the bar this weekend and came home more depressed and missing her than before I went there.

 

Any advice??

[OoOHuggyOoO]

Dude this is crazy. I was thinking about making a post just like this one. Im in your situation. Not to sound coky, but alot of girls think I'm attractive so I usually attract the wild party girls(*sigh* wishes he'd attract a good girl). The only difference is that I like parties and like to party with those kind of girls, but I like good girls and will only go out with good girls. I want a chick with morals who respects herself unlike most girls down where I live. I think they're extinct. I only know of 2 girls around my area that are good/shy girls and Im dating one of them. If things dont go well with this one, I GIVE UP ON TRYING TO FIND A GOOD GIRL!

[chanceit]

Hey don't give up they are there - you found one for a start!!

 

how can i say this to everyone: look harder - i used to think the same!

 

The're there right in front of you - you just havn't noticed them (the wild partying ones will tend to attract more attentention ) - honestly they are out there and there are more than you think.

 

I mean for starters how many people are into that silver ring thing...

[madhornet]

One thing I'm definitely not doing is looking harder - that just results in me getting more down when I get messed around for the hundedth time.

 

I'll just get on with my life if a nice girl who doesn't play mind games happens to come into it my life will be that much better but I don't envisage it happening anytime soon.

 

Sometimes you've just gotta forget about ever finding someone and just prepare to enjoy single life - it certainly is much less stressful, even if it means you're not really 100% happy being single. Right now I don't want to date or go out with anyone as I've been burned too many times lately but in time when I've had time to get over the rubbish way I get treated I may be ready for a relationship.

 

I don't go for the finding someone when you least expect it scenario but actively searching just makes you out to be desperate (I should know I've done it for long enough!) and girls can sense desperation a mile off. The question is - what is the right balance between not looking at all and actively searching - you either look too desperate or not interested?

[vernon21]

I have a problem with party animals accusing shy people of being boring. I can't understand why people who would rather stay at home are ridiculed for being dull. I should know because my ex-girlfriend has labelled me as such. She has returned to having drunken one night stands quite often, and subseqently making a fool of herself. I believe that people who carry on like this just show a distinct lack of maturity, as well as displaying a lack of moral integrity.

 

However, if these people are happy doing what they do, then I say let them get on with it. I just choose to avoid them these days.

 

To those people searching for nice girls and guys... believe me, they are out there. Just live your life exactly how you want to, and maybe you will meet one someday. And don't let others bring you down.

[Outlaw2747]

Exactly, I cannot agree with you more. Nice guys can be just as fun as the next person. It all depends on what type of girl we are dealing with. Not all of us are house mice who sit in their homes and rot and do absolutely nothing but bawl and moan. We do go out...some nice guys actually go to clubs but the majority of nice guys I know prefer amusement parks, normal parks, beaches, just about anywhere. And then you have your calm nice guy who stays home, but not to the point he is a couch potato and even those types will go out just to please the one he loves, and enjoy it. So, not all nice guys are boring, I know some who are downright adventerous....like a few friends of mine.

 

If anything, the clubbers should be deemed as boring. All they do IS party or get drunk. (once again, not all clubbers) Is it really that fun to hit on 20 girls in one night and get stupid and drunk every single day? I mean really.....

[Silversun]

So, not all nice guys are boring, I know some who are downright adventerous....like a few friends of mine

 

Do you think that it is dangerously becoming the consensus of most women that nice guys are boring? I've found that most good looking girls have rejected me because I'm shy and reserved but do they automatically think that nice guys are coach potato's?

 

Do they think that they can get a better deal with another guy?

[vernon21]

Most 'good looking girls' as you put it tend to go off first impressions. Inevitably, that means that the shy and reserved type are hardly noticed and are in some cases looked down upon. I'm not saying that every girl is like this, but there are a few who don't want to talk to these 'nice guys' because it might damage their reputation and social status.

 

Personally speaking, I enjoy going out for a drink every now and again, but I don't make a habit out of it, because it would just get boring. In my opinion, variety is very much the spice of life so I take an interest in doing a wide range of things. Subsequently, I meet girls with differing personalities. Just be yourself and you will attract the right person, because they will want to hang out with you because of who you really are, rather than someone you appear to be. 8)

[ayekasong]

I'm not sure if I am just different from most girls or not, but when I said I wanted a nice guy, I actually meant it. A lot of girls say this and then end up with a jerk. My sister, for example, loves the bad boy type, but wants someone who will love her and treat her well. She's had horrible relationships, her ex-boyfriend even made her make payments for his truck (at 17 years old) because he couldn't, or wouldn't, hold down a job for more than two days. The boy would literally walk out of jobs because he didn't like them. He got kicked out of his parents' house, he smoked a ton of weed, and he treated my sister very badly, and proclaimed that my parents didn't know what was best for her. But they were in "love" and engaged. It's almost like its a reward when a guy like this "loves" you...

 

As for me, my boyfriend is a nice guy, a bit of a couch potato, but I can live with that. He has a steady job and is about to graduate from college. He doesn't drink or anything but he does have an adventerous streak to him. I guess some people would find him boring, but I don't at all since we are into the same stuff. But hey at least I don't have to worry about him ending up in jail.

 

There are many nice girls out there. They are just harder to find, as are real nice guys for us women. Not that you guys are this way at all, but I find some self-proclaimed nice guys really arent that nice.

[ComputerGuy]

Dammit girl, why arent there girls like you in Aus, more specifically where I am in Aus, LOL

[Outlaw2747]

You mean why aren't there more girls like her, PERIOD! What I find amazing is that whenever I am in a chat room, the nicest girls I talk to that seem straight, are mostly from England or Australia. I don't know why that is but I get along with them pretty weel. Now if only I could find out by being there....

[ComputerGuy]

I agree with England one, that and other parts of Australia to me, LOL

[chanceit]

i must apologise for my previous posts I didn't realise i was so lucky being from the uk and all

 

Guess nice girls must be rarer elsewhere that i thought (just don't go into some of our city centers on a friday or saterday night

 

hey ComputerGuy and Outlaw2747 maybe you should come over here one day its not that bad a place

[Shinobie]

i Should see how it is my dad was born in liverpool,england and im british too and kind of look like it but im mostly a mut

[ComputerGuy]

LOL @ Shinobie. But I can guarantee I'll find a girl here eventually, it may take a bit longer but hey, it will be more than worth it a million times over when I do.

[chanceit]

you should definalty give a go sometime its got nice bits and not so nice bits like everywhere i guess - the only thing i would say is don't go to london if you want to experience the uk for real - its like a country inside a country there...beers about double the price for a start....good public transport....

[the iguana]

i missed this post until now, but i'd like to say this. I don't mind when a girl of mine parties, but i find it a sign of psychological weakness when the girl decides to 'experiment' with alcohol, or 'try' pot which her friends do. I mean, i'm pretty psychologically weak but i go to parties and i take a cup of wine and a few breaths of second hand smoke and thats about as much of partying i can take. I never understood partying.

 

My girlfriend, whom i met when she was sitting around the house and being a good girl and studious while she commuted to college now goes to a far away school and she gets smashed and/or high frequently. she finds nothing wrong with it, and wonders why i can't sleep at night. my fear is being cheated on, kissing strangers etc., while being in a different state of mind... because i had friends get cheated on like that.

 

I talked to her friends and ask about what she does when high and they would shut up as soon as i said 'no she doesn't tell me much' - big coverups. I don't do swag or drink excessively. She shouldn't either. sounds like fitting in to me... I mean, Why should i deserve a girl who does that, and still think i ought to love her for who she is?

 

So far, every girl i've met is a big disappointment. Every girl in church i've met is an even greater disappointment. You wonder if there is anyone out there. All the good ones probably killed themselves already.

[usied]

im def, on the market and i dont like partying and im looking to settle down. But i can't find a decent guy! I def have a problem with picking all the wrong ones...but good girls are totally extinct. I am one and there are more out there!

[ComputerGuy]

I saw Usied first...back off ROFL

 

Seriously though, the same thing happened to me and then some. My ex cheated on me with 2 complete strangers in the back of a car in a carpark somewhere whilst I was lying in hospital, and got pregnant, then tried to tell me it was mine. Mind you we used protection and she had her period since we last had sex......how dumb does she think I am???

 

Anyway, I found out now shes into drugs and goes out most nights and gets high and/or drunk and has unprotected sex with any guy that happens to walk past, often 2 or 3 a night. I find a lot of girls, although not to this extreme, who think partying/getting drunk/having sex is the be all and end all of life, and it really gets to me.