Healing wih the Law of Attraction

[dabbledave]

Awesome! So very happy for you!

 

DD

[Mellie]

Whoa, fair play. I'll be honest, I remember the part where you were talking about getting his photo back out and I thought you were setting yourself up for a fall.

 

Well, alrighty then. Clearly works. Love to stay and chat but I have to go photoshop myself into a lingering embrace with Dermot Mulroney and pick out the ideal home for us and our six kids to live in. And pick out a nanny (male of course)

 

Serioiusly though, I'm going to dust this off and give it a read. I bought it on Kindle off the back of your first review.

[MissMazzi]

Wow. This stuff actually works.

I'm happy for you!

 

I just have to wonder, for others..it truly does seem impossible. How can you attract an ex back if they refuse to even communicate with you and have blocked everything of yours? etc

[MissMazzi]

I really want to believe my ex will come back. But in doing so, am I not just setting myself up for more pain?

[lonelyheart2]

you are so lucky!!! I really hope this works I am trying so hard to remain positive but now that it's been 3 months I'm starting to lose hope

[endy]

Wow. This stuff actually works.

I'm happy for you!

 

I just have to wonder, for others..it truly does seem impossible. How can you attract an ex back if they refuse to even communicate with you and have blocked everything of yours? etc

 

 

There's a link to a post in this thread by me on how to do it. You have to understand they may not ever come back because they have free will. All you can do is become someone that is more likely to attract them or a healthy relationship. I use the LOA in a different way. I just say universe please give me anything that will benefit me. I don't ask for specific things to attract anymore. I did use it to find my house though that I just purchased.

 

Read that post if you want to know how. All it really explains is that you need to move on and worry about you for 6-12 months. It's easier said than done.

[NoDice]

Wow Nice Job! I used LOA to work on myself during my first split, I had a plan to get a better job, start learning new things I had always wanted to do, getting her back in my life, more friends..

 

Well for a month I did it, everything minus the job happened, I was so positive and truly happy and content with her coming back, I remained positive throughout, and then slowly she left again, I don't see the point in using LOA a second time for her, I mean the issues were from her and she admitted that, but for some reason I still feel I should try, the universe is awesome like that, I mean how many times did you and your man split?

[RitaTrue]

I've been thinking about this actually as a coping mechanism. And I find it very ironic, that after thinking about it for a couple days, up shows your post.

 

Keep updating us on how things go for you using this =)

[endy]

That's the issue with using this. Just because you re-attract that person does not mean you are doing yourself any good getting them back, there is still damage done and A LOT to work through. At the same time, hopefully in any case it works out if there ever was or is true love present.

[mynameishope]

Miss Mazi, I took that risk and it turned out to be worth it. My bf and I didn't speak for a month and a half but I didn't stop believing. It's a lot easier to forget and move on, trust me. It's not easy convincing yourself of something that you can't really see yet. It's not easy going to sleep with a smile every single night and being grateful for a relationship that isn't really there and waking up with the same smile and gratitude when you haven't heard your man/woman's voice in over a month. You have to create your own reality and I don't deny that it's borderline insanity. However, I honestly believe that it works.

 

NoDice, that was the first and last split and I'm glad you saw it work for you in some areas of your life!

[lonelyheart2]

did you speak to your boyfriend first or was it him?

[NoDice]

Miss Mazi, I took that risk and it turned out to be worth it. My bf and I didn't speak for a month and a half but I didn't stop believing. It's a lot easier to forget and move on, trust me. It's not easy convincing yourself of something that you can't really see yet. It's not easy going to sleep with a smile every single night and being grateful for a relationship that isn't really there and waking up with the same smile and gratitude when you haven't heard your man/woman's voice in over a month. You have to create your own reality and I don't deny that it's borderline insanity. However, I honestly believe that it works.

 

NoDice, that was the first and last split and I'm glad you saw it work for you in some areas of your life!

 

Ok just wondering, this is the second split for me(both on her being the dumper), I want to believe again, but I don't know if LOA can work a second time seeing as she was the one with the majority of issues with herself in the relationship. not wanting to make it work for us you know, so I was deleted from the equation. Possible?

[ella44224]

wow! That's awesome! I'm so happy for you!

 

I've recently become really interested in the LOA, especially concerning reuniting with my ex. I just have a few questions and want to make sure I'm going about this the right way so I am able to have the best chance of re-attracting my ex and/or just a better life in general. If anyone could help me out I'd be SO grateful!

I really feel like my ex and I had something special and I want him back (he broke up with me a little over 2 months ago). However, he entered into a new relationship only a few weeks after our break up . From what I understand about the law it shouldn't really matter that he's with someone else right now and I still have a chance of re-attracting him. Is this correct? (I understand he has free will and therefore there are no guarantee's but there's really not a lot to lose and a lot to gain, so worth a try.)

 

From what I understand, to implement the law successfully, you need to do the following:

1.Turn negative and bleak outlook's on situations to positives. Try and see the bright side in all things.

2. Be grateful and appreciate what you do have instead of focusing on what you don't

3. Visualize having what you want. Create this future for yourself in detail inside your head.

4. really feel and believe this is already yours.

5. Work on yourself to become the kind of person who would attract these things/person to you.

5. Believe that either way everything works out for you and what's best for you in the end.

 

Is this a correct consensus of the law? Like I said I'd be very grateful for any advice/input! Thanks!

[endy]

In no way do I want to rain on anyones thread by this response...

 

To a point, read through the whole thread. I posted a link to instructions on how to do it. It does involve moving on though too, and that's still the healthy thing to do. I don't think getting back with someone after two months is using the law of attraction because they have not had enough time to work on themselves, neither party has. In other words there is still pain and mutual trust is broken through a breakup. That takes time and healing to work through. I would still seriously go through a healing process before attempting to do this. By all means that really is using the LOA. If not you're still a broken person.

 

I think what happened in the above instance, and maybe the LOA had something to do with it... is he missed her after a short period of NC. Read the link and you will better understand it.

 

I use the LOA by asking the universe to let me receive whatever I need and what is best for me. That is all. I recently got basically my dream house by using it. My ex hasn't contacted me, and I believe that's what is best for me. I would seriously advise anyone that is using the LOA to get the ex back, if you are still thinking with your heart and want and need... to take time and figure out exactly what you want first. Figure out if that person is actually what you want in a husband/wife. Really look at the relationship and decide if it was that great, or you just miss them because they aren't there. Breakups don't happen for just no reason.

[ella44224]

Thank you. I agree with you that two months isn't long enough and although I have come a ways since the beginning honestly, I'm still struggling. For now I think I'm just going to take your advice to do my best to heal more and feel what I feel. Now that I think about it I'm not sure in my current emotional state that I could even use the law in the right way for it to have a chance at being effective. Right now I feel like he's everything I could ever want but I guess two and a half months is still too close to make that call. So I guess I will give it awhile and see where I'm at and how I feel a few months from now and then reassess the situation. Thanks Endy.

[endy]

link removed

 

 

There's a link about using the law of attraction to possibly re-attract the ex. It's the first one that I've seen that makes perfect sense to me. It's basically what this forum encourages a lot of the time as well from the get go.

 

There you all go. I would personally take the 6-12 months to better yourself. If not you're going back to the same relationship most likely. If you really think about it, is that what you want? It did end for a reason, I think it's important to take that time and figure out why

 

I do want to tell you that the law of attraction does work, and it IS very real in my world at least. Think about it, if you're constantly feeling good about yourself and loving yourself... you'll attract good things and people. You ever notice how some people walk in a room and it seems to lighten up?

 

The real secret is... just love yourself, the rest will follow.

[MissMazzi]

I just want to thank Endy, mynameishope and a few other posters, for your insightful posts. I'm all for self-improvement and your posts have incredibly helped me in kick-starting the whole process. I've been reading in buddhism alot lately and currently into "You Can Heal your Life".

 

Today has been my first official day of integrating nothing but positive thoughts into my day, and wow it feels so liberating. I think I finally have grasped the whole concept of what true love actually is. It feels great that you can love from afar and expect absoloutely nothing in return; just accept everything as it is and not feel resentment to people that used to piss you off. I've let go of all my grudges and refuse to be a victim to anything anymore.

 

I feel so grateful to the people who have shared their ideas on this...and I'm thankful to my ex for the whole experience. Seriously. It startles me to believe that I could have carried on in my life with my negative thinking and destructive ways. I'm so glad that I have finally become conscious to what I am and I finally realise that I, myself manifested my own negative outcome to the relationship. I only thought bad, and therefore everything became bad.

 

Another thing is that...(well, I guess I'm not quite there yet eh) I'm stunned at my progress in self-development, turning my thoughts and ideas around, in such a short amount of time, and feel sort of gutted? that he will never see who I have and will become.. It's almost as if I am becoming everything that he needed me to be, except the catch is, is that it is far too late....This is the only thing left that is hurting me now. I just know that he will cling on to his old memory of who he thinks I am, and that is probably the thing that will ever stop us from talking or reconciling again, because I was a very unhealthy person...

[lonelyheart2]

surely according to the law of attraction though if your relationship is meant to be and right you will attract him back in to your life because you have become the new and improved you?

[endy]

surely according to the law of attraction though if your relationship is meant to be and right you will attract him back in to your life because you have become the new and improved you?

 

That's not true. The law of attraction does not readily work with all people. Everyone has a choice, and that choice is still part of free will. I want to point out that a lot of the time people are in our lives to learn a specific lesson. That may have been their purpose or why we attracted them in the first place. I always ask using the law of attractiong to bring what is good for me to me, and that is all. I've done this recently and got my dream house, however the ex hasn't contacted me. I haven't contacted her.

[endy]

First of all it's helped me a lot actually reading all of this material that I have. I like to share it because I like to help others. I'm grateful to be able to do so. You're also very welcome, but you actually stumbled upon this and attracted the information because you wanted to

 

The only thing I see that you said that I would question and you'll notice it soon is...

 

You're not becoming everything he needed you to be. You're becoming everything YOU needed you to be. What the law of attraction does is make you aware of mind. Humans have de-evolved and seperated the understanding of soul and how it connects to your mind (mind is not just your brain). The universe is going to give you what it needs to for your soul and mind to experience exactly what it needs to in this life. What buddhism does, is help remove those blocks between mind and soul that are often deep rooted into us at an early age and through school, religion, society etc. That allows you to manifest even faster.

 

So keep up your work. You'll have more insights shortly if you keep it all up. You'll probably realize that person was in your life for a specific reason. Probably for you to love yourself and grow in a way that you needed to, to be happier, and experience things in a better light. Ultimately, that's for you to figure out/decide.

[MissMazzi]

I had just wrote out another post wondering if I should let him know about my changes and progress but I retract that now Thank you! This is a good mindset to have.

 

Well this is excting that even more progress is yet to come. I suppose all I can do for now is to just let him be, accept and love from afar. I have to carry on this journey for me, and not him! You're right. =)

 

Sometimes I just let my emotions and feelings obsecure what is really right for me...I'll keep hoovering over my stance and then his...etc. I just feel, that I wish I could atleast let him know that this has been a real turning point for me?

[endy]

I had just wrote out another post wondering if I should let him know about my changes and progress but I retract that now Thank you! This is a good mindset to have.

 

Well this is excting that even more progress is yet to come. I suppose all I can do for now is to just let him be, accept and love from afar. I have to carry on this journey for me, and not him! You're right. =)

 

Sometimes I just let my emotions and feelings obsecure what is really right for me...I'll keep hoovering over my stance and then his...etc. I just feel, that I wish I could atleast let him know that this has been a real turning point for me?

 

I just started a thread to if I should break NC or not. It really did more harm than good. What I really need to do is forget about her and live my life. You need to also understand that by doing this work... you may actually raise your vibration high enough that it will attract someone different and better. I think that may be the case with my ex as I have not heard from her. I also haven't really put out there that I want a relationship yet either though. I wanted to heal first.

 

Like attracts like. So with that said, he was probably broken a bit too. Maybe you never saw that he was. The thing I'm trying to say that by doing this growth etc, you are going to attract either him or someone on your wavelength (vibration).

 

Give it 6 months to a year. Read that guide and do what that says. It's harder to do and understand than one thinks initially. I'm 6 months out, and was thinking about letting her know how the experience changed my life. I feel I need to really make sure I am completely over it, and my healing has progressed to a point that I KNOW it's the right thing to do. All I'm going to do is live my life and revisit the letter in a month.

 

The letter itself had no intent besides being grateful for the experience I had with her, and how it changed my life. I did not go into specifics.

 

If you haven't read that link I posted read it. It's on the page before this. That's really how you want to reattract her. BE the person you were when you first attracted each other, or even better, a healed BETTER person first. Remember everyone has free will. So put yourself on the pedestal. Don't think of it as getting him back.

 

Do your work, read that link, and try what it says. IF they don't contact you in 6 months to a year, drop them a line. By then you should be ok either way, and ok with whatever happens.

[MissMazzi]

I have that URL bookmarked Thanks.

 

I just realised that I have ALOT more work to do than I initially thought...I just got really angry and moody at everyone, though it has been a long time since I have acted unconciously like that. Atleast time I have the gift of spotting immediately where it is stemming from, and strangely enough some of it has accumulated from childhood..When I first read into material concerning deep pain rooted from childhood, I scratched my head and didn't know what people were talking about or how they could spot that from so long ago...but now I seem to understand.

 

I think you should send the letter. You have nothing to lose imo, if you're already over her. I completely understand your stance, and NC is primarily for people to heal, so if you are healed, I really don't see the problem in it. The posters on that thread seem to see it as a bit of a threat to them I think. It sounds to me to be a true love letter that doesn't expect anything in return.

 

As for me, I don't think I'm going to reach out to him in a year or ever. I just have a feeling he would laugh at any contact that I make. Even though as the "dumpee" and that he started NC straight away, I do feel that it would be my responsibility to reach out and thank him for the experience and that it has truly made me a better person, because I was so unhealthy and when I think of my past behaviours it makes me cringe. Sometimes I wonder if I made him force dump me, which makes him just as much a dumpee as me...I also wonder, by me keeping my silence, would that seem ignorant to him and make him think I was stuck in my ways? Or if he truly believed I could change, that I would realise myself and then share it with him? If that makes sense?

[endy]

The last paragraph you will be able to answer yourself within time. This life is really about your "self". Honestly every relationship ends. I don't think there's a problem with contact at all after you've healed as a dumpee... as long as the intentions are good.

 

We can't ever tell what another thinks. That's the problem. The mind is individual for everyone IMO. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY knows exactly how you process things, what you feel etc, besides yourself. Nobody knows someone else's thought processes or internally the way the other deals with things.

 

If you give yourself a year, and don't hear from him you will know what to do then. Just keep on working on yourself and improving yourself in all areas.

 

I always understood that I LOVED people. But it was not true love because of my issues. I wasn't capable of it until I worked on myself. Most importantly, I didn't love myself, and I learned how. That's really why I wanted to send the letter. It is a buddhist letter out of true love. Does it matter that I changed though in terms of her or possible reconciliation? Not really, because it takes two healthy people to be in a relationship. She didn't grieve her first breakup, our breakup, or misscarriage. Which basically means unless that relationship ended promptly, and I know it did not... she's still with him or going through grieving.

 

In your case though, it sounds like you didn't deal with any of that. Give it at least 6 months, or a year. Work on yourself. If you really then think the relationship is good FOR YOU, then break NC.

[MissMazzi]

Thinking about it, I don't think the relationship was good for ME. We both had issues, but it was mainly me running around, apologising everytime I slipped up. Whereas for him, he would get away with treating me really badly. But after much reflection, I realise it's just as much as my fault for letting him be so emotionally abusive to me and I didn't really set my boundaries well. I didn't understand how to deal with those situations...According to Al Turtle, bullies always act like bullies because people let them be that way...I really needed to be a "friend" and let him know that, and by converting his "master talk" into dialogue. But even so, I can only do so much...He needs to work on himself too.

 

I also feel kind of gutted that he doesn't really know that it hurt me so much? He will never know that he was so hurtful to me...and so he won't ever learn and just continue to blame me for everything. He had a way of manipulating me, even when I didn't like something, that somehow it was my fault. And so through his eyes, it's apparently me who's causing trouble all the time..

 

I just feel that I have done myself a great disservice with the silence and not properly communicating about his problematic behaviour, as I feel that I've been set up to look like the really bad one and him the saint. So not only has it been difficult grieving this, but to have all the blame for the relationship's demise and feeling GUILTY about it, as well as him being ignorant to how hurtful he was. I realise that I don't need a cold person like that. He'll probably never know how he is truly, and that he had 50% of the blame too...But that's okay. I have to turn the other way for me now, reguardless of him knowing or not. Atleast I acknowledged my flaws and doing my bit to repair them.