ella44224

my life is in ruins. please come back. i miss you. please talk to me.

Almost 2 months since our break up, a month since we last spoke. I broke no contact two days ago to apologize to you for everything that happened this summer. To tell you you didn't deserve any stress from me, to tell you I was working on things with myself....You're response was like a slap in the face. You blame me for everything that happened to you this summer, our break up, EVERYTHING was my fault. But I can't take responsibility for all of it anymore, you say you tried but I don't think you did, not nearly hard enough. You could have helped yourself, helped us but you chose not to. The fact that I still love you, the fact that I would cut off my right arm to be with you again makes me SICK, it makes me hate myself. I still think of you almost every minute of the day, I miss you so much it's like I'm dying inside but you just don't care. I feel like you hate me now and I just don't understand because even after this pain I could never hate you. I know that someday maybe even now you'll be with another girl, you'll say the same things and get that same goofy smile that made me fall in love with you, it makes me want to die. I can only hope you'll contact me again someday but you probably never will. I hope you're happy now, you're probably already on your way to forgetting me. I'll never forget you...