HELP! Cannot sleep due to upstairs neighbour!

[dogwood]

Hello..

 

I realize this may not be the proper place to post this, but I've been a member of this site for years so I thought maybe you guys could give me a hand anyway.

 

Dilemma: So, I moved into a new apartment in April, really wanting this to be my last move for a while. (I've moved 3X in the past year) Anyway, everything up until now has been fine. Great roommates, big room, good location, etc. Unfortunately, I didn't know when I moved in, that the person living above me was out of town. (I knew it was too good to be true.) My ears have told me she returned about a week ago, as I've had a lot of difficulty sleeping since she's been back. She isn't doing anything disruptive really, I'm not hearing loud music or anything like that - but what keeps waking me up and sounds very loud from down here, is her rolling on her desk chair on the hardwood floors. I knocked on her door and talked to her and she said that's all she is doing - but it's damn loud. Either way.. I'm a light sleeper, I already sleep with a fan on, and I really have no control over what sounds wake me up, sadly. Earplugs work for a night or two, but I can't wear them every night or they begin to hurt my ears.

 

I'm really not sure what to do for a solution. I really don't want to move again, but I've been woken up at 8am every morning for the past week. I work as a waitress, so I don't get home until late, and therefore need to sleep in late to get enough hours Right now I'm running on 3 hrs of sleep due to this noise, and I feel like crap. Anyway, all I can think of other than her sitting in a chair without wheels (which I'm sure she won't want to do), is maybe putting a rug or mat under the chair, to reduce the impact of the wheels on the bare wood. I was curious if anyone has had any experience with something like this, and if putting something under the chair made the noise quieter. I'm feeling pretty desperate here.. life without sleep is not a good life.. all advice appreciated

[Batya33]

Unfortunately I think even in apartments with quiet hours the hours are usually from 10pm-7am or something like that. Can you try another type of earplugs? or, is there a place in the apartment you can sleep where the noise from her home will be softer?

[dogwood]

sadly, no to both. They sell 3 types of earplugs at the drugstore. I've tried all, they all work well - but regardless of the type, no human can sleep comfortably every night with a piece of foam wedged into their ears. at least i can't. in terms of going elsewhere, it's also not really possible. my room is not that big, and there's only one place i can fit my bed without it being on a vent or in front of the door.

[KatAstrophy1607308539]

OMG! I can so identify with you! I'm a really, really light sleeper and I've always been. My mum says she only had to whisper my name when I was a kid and I'd wake up. I cannot sleep in the same room as a ticking clock or a snoring or even breathing human! For that reason, I don't do shared houses or flats and I've gone to so much expense to make sure of that. However, I cannot control other noises. At the moment, I live in an apartment near the sea. The walls are so thick I've never heard a sound from next door. However, the seagulls, church bells, traffic outside keep me up most nights and somehow I've put up with it for four years.

 

How?

 

I use heavy duty industrial foam earplugs.

 

My first year in university [10 years ago] was a daze - I operated on little or no sleep thanks to noisy students in the flats above and below and drunken yobs outside. I told this to my then boyfriend who lived in USA and he sent me these earplugs. They were a godsend. I keep them on all night and I don't hear a thing - I re-discovered sleeping!! They are not always effective - they'll sometimes hurt, itch or you can hear your heartbeat loud and clear and start wishing your heart would stop beating so you can sleep! But nine times out of ten, they're effective.

 

I ran out of my ex's ones, but I found the same brand on e-Bay and got myself 400 pairs. I used them last night. I take them everywhere - in my handbag, overnight bag, toilet bag and throw some in my suitcase just in case!

[KatAstrophy1607308539]

Just to add, before I got those earplugs from USA - like you, I'd tried every possible brand and type for years. My friends used to bring them for me from different countries and airlines. I'd exhausted all the brands in the UK. I think I probably have the worst case of light sleeping out of anyone I've ever met, and these earplugs have helped.

[browneyedgirl36]

Hmmm...this is difficult. I actually moved out of an apartment because my neighbors were so horrible -- having loud parties (outside, right under my window) until 4:00 a.m., playing loud music, smoking under my window so that the smoke came into my apartment, etc. I tried everything, and nothing worked. I hate earplugs, though I will use them when absolutely necessary.

 

In your case, though, the noise is just everyday going-about-the-day noise, and if it's not violating the quite hours of your building, then you don't have much choice but to move or endure it. You could try asking your neighbor to put carpet under her chair -- just maybe one of those small area rugs or even a thick foam mat or something -- but don't be surprised if she refuses because really, she's not obligated to. I like the idea of the industrial earplugs. Another thought I had -- noise-cancelling headphones. A friend of mine uses them to listen to music on his stereo so that he doesn't bother people around him, but they also drown out outside noise that YOU might hear. I tried them on once, and yeah...I could barely hear a thing! I tried talking with them on, and wasn't sure how loudly I was talking because I couldn't hear! They're not cheap, but they might be worth using. Also: There are "white noise" machines out there -- some of which play actual nature sounds (waterfalls, rain, ocean waves, rainforest sounds, etc.) and some that just play a sort of low sound almost like static that drowns out ambient noise. You might check into one of those.

[RelaxByWater84]

This is something that you are just going to have deal with and use ear plugs. I've had my downstairs neighbor at my old apartment come up and ask me to stop walking around. I thought that was rude of them since they have no right to tell me what to do in my home. I just wanted to give you the flip side of the situation.

[browneyedgirl36]

This is something that you are just going to have deal with and use ear plugs. I've had my downstairs neighbor at my old apartment come up and ask me to stop walking around. I thought that was rude of them since they have no right to tell me what to do in my home. I just wanted to give you the flip side of the situation.

 

Yep..some noise is unavoidable. Regular walking shutting of doors and cabinets, even the TV, voices, etc. at reasonable hours (i.e. within the quiet hours established by the landlord -- 10:00 p.m. - 8:00 a.m. where I live) are a hazard of apartment living. Now, things like lifting weights and dropping them (yeah, I had a neighbor who did this), loud parties, music at an unreasonable volume (where the floor vibrates from the bass), etc. -- those are things that can be helped -- and should be avoided.

[thejigsup]

I once had an upstairs neighbor who walked so heavily, the light fixture came falling down and the smoke alarm cover came off! I talked to my landlord and they said they could not penalize a person for being fat and walking in their own home, even during quiet hours. They never even watched t.v. they just walked and my ceiling shook! They moved out after a couple of months, so I got lucky. You cannont ask, nor will you landlord ask, for someone to stop normal actions in their own apartment, even during quiet hours. She's rolling her chair, not playing loud music or yelling. Either use the earplugs, wait for her to move, or move yourself.

[dogwood]

thanks for all the tips guys.

 

Katastrophe: ha, finally someone else who can feel my pain. I'm curious about these 'heavy duty' earplugs you speak of. How are they different from regular ones? My problem with my current earplugs I get from shoppers (orange rubbery ones) isn't that they don't block out the noise well enough, but that they hurt my ears after wearing them more than two or three nights in a row. Do yours do the same? And man, living by the sea? I'm jealous. I'd much rather hear the roar of the ocean and the birds than some chick rolling all over her room above me. but noise is noise.

 

browneyedgirl: you're right.. it's tricky to complain about this because it is everyday noise. although it really sounds like she is sliding halfway accross her room on the damn chair, even though she claimed it was only '5 inches'. in terms of white noise, i already use a fan to block out general roommate/household sounds. the problem is white noise doesn't really block out heavy ceiling noise like stomping or chairs rolling on hardwood. In terms of the headphones - do you just mean the ones that go 'in' your ears and block out some outside sound? I already use earplugs when I need to which does the same thing, but it's hard for that to be a long term solution because they hurt my ears after a couple nights of wearing them.

 

everyone else.. yeah, I realize this is everyday noise and there's nothing I can really do about it. I do see the flipside and I've also spoken to the girl who... to put it bluntly.. behaved like a complete b*tch and didn't seem to care at all. so I don't imagine she'd be very agreeable. but when you look at it objectively, it really is just her chair-rolling that's preventing me from sleeping properly. If someone told me that one tiny aspect of my everyday life was hurting their sleep and essentially having a very large and negative impact on theirs, it wouldn't be a big deal for me to stop rolling around so much or put a rug under so they could catch a good night's sleep. I mean come on, we're all human here.

 

I really don't want to have to move out because of this. I'm going to try my best to adapt in any way that I can. I might move my fan closer to my head and see if that blocks out some sound. Otherwise I could also try to somewhat adapt to her schedule on days that I don't work, (she seems to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier than me), but I'd feel a bit trapped if my schedule had to depend on someone else's. I wish there was a way I could train myself to become a heavier sleeper and just NOT be woken up by that sound. Does anyone have any suggestions? I've even thought of soundproofing the ceiling, but from what I've read, it wouldn't make much difference for stomping and chair rolling kind of noise, it would only quiet sounds like talking and music that aren't hitting the floor directly. bleh

[dogwood]

*edit:

 

last night i waited for her to go to sleep because i can't sleep when she is rolling around loudly. she didn't stop until about 4 am. then i heard it start again at 8 am this morning. jesus. i can't take this. and my ears already hurt from earplugs. at this point all i can see working is either she puts a rug under her chair or I move out. and i really like this place. that would be the 4th move in a year. fml..

[KatAstrophy1607308539]

I feel for you dogwood...I know! The earplugs are called MAX pre-shaped foam earplugs [Howard Leight hearing protection] NRR33/SNR 37 [just the details on the packet]. They are easy to put in and if you get it right, you won't hear a sound. Seriously. Like I said, I use them every night and have done so for years. Sometimes they hurt sometimes they don't. But as for keeping noise out, they do the job. After trying so many types and brands, these are the only ones that worked. They're worth a shot if you can find them. Good luck!

[dogwood]

thanks kat. I`m gonna try the rug option first. Just because i`d really rather not wear earplugs every single night - even if they don`t hurt, it just feels kindof artificial and wrong to wear them so frequently, and I also don`t like to wear them when my girlfriend is staying over. but I will definitely keep that in mind if I need to resort to plan B.

 

anyway, I put a note on the girl`s door upstairs requesting very nicely if she`d be willing to try a rug, if I bought one for her, to put under her chair. I really hope she agrees...

[luminousone]

Hey Dogwood,

 

many sympathies to you!

 

The rug (or office mat) idea is a fabulous one. In terms of acoustics it is best if there were some sort of insulation in her apartment. The next best is to insulate from your side - like hanging foam on your ceiling, etc.

 

Beside earplugs, you might investigate a white noise machine. Some people swear by them, as they are supposed to cancel out extraneous noise.

 

One more thing - easier said than done, but when you hear the noise you could just work on having a neutral response to it - you can really work on telling your mind that it is not anything to be concerned with.

 

What is happening to you is that when your brain hears the noise, it goes on alert mode - it is a survival mechanism that we all have. Eventually our body/brain gets used to the usual noises that surround us each day - the refrigerator, the fan of your computer, etc. Each time there is a change in those noises, we take note - and then go to our usual activity if it is not something we need to pay attention to.

 

So ideally you would want to train your brain to file that noise in the "harmless, don't bother to pay attention" file.

 

But I think your best bet is the carpet and the white noise machine...

[jfly]

Hi,

 

I totally, totally sympathize... it's a terrible thing to endure. Living in NYC for many years, neighbor's noise in apartments destroyed our peace of mind. It can really drive you crazy. We HAD to move out of our one apartment because there was so much noise above our heads. It's the kind of noise that a white noise machine will not block out. Mentally disregarding the noise sounds good, but in reality, no that does not work. We tried that! I know what you mean about earplugs and how they hurt after awhile. We ended up having to wear them for years.. really... even tho we hated it. The absolute best thing is (and hopefully you're neighbor is compassionate, ours NEVER were) is to have your neighbor put a rug up there, no doubt.