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Moving out, leaving brother and sick mum on their own.


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Tomorrow morning I am signing a lease and moving in with my boyfriend. I've just started a new job and there is a lot of change going on in my life so I have some stress going on. I've started to really worry today and yesterday about my mum and brother and I am worried about how they are going to cope alone because of my mum's health issues.


Until now I have lived at home, I am 21, with my parents and my younger brother of 18. My mum and dad are separating and their house is going on the market it two weeks. My mum and my brother are going to get a small house and my dad is getting a small flat.


My mum was diagnosed with two unrelated cases of cancer a few years ago. After chemo and surgery she has recovered well and is back at work (which she loves). Although there is still a risk the cancer could come back, and she has biannual test done. When she was sick my brother was particularly badly effected and he developed a sever depression which he has been battling with medication for the past few years.


My mum has been quite sick the past two weeks, and mostly unable to go to work. she has had a migraine and since Tuesday night has had sever abdominal pain, as it was at the site of surgery she had a while ago she was worried and I took her to the doctors yesterday morning. The doctor thinks her bowl has become twisted and she is going to to hospital today for an Xray, and she may need to have surgery.


I feel horrible, I was crying on the way to work this morning. I will still be living in the same city, just about half n hour away, But that's not the same as living with them. I won't be there for the little stuff any day-to-day issues.

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Off, I know how you feel. My Dad just passed away at the end of April....we buried him the day before my birthday. He had cancer as well- a blocked bowel from a

large tumour. It happened very quickly- diagnosis to death was about 6 weeks. My break up was last August, so in a way it was great because I recovered from my BU at their place. A bf would have got in the way of hospital visits and looking after my Mom. And I would not have spent as much time with my Dad in his last few months.


I totally know how you feel because now my Mom is lonely and I would feel such guilt to leave her alone for a weekend. My parents were married for 45 years and

spent all their time together


Just do the best you can...look after yourself, but spend as much time with your family as possible. You need your strength now. Hopefully your bf is very

supportive. And, if he is, he is a keeper!


I know how your feel. It is a combo of stress, sadness and guilt for not being around.


Your Mom is in my prayers.

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Its tough, I can really relate.


I moved out of my parents house while my Mother was sick with cancer. Two months after moving out, she passed away.


Life moves forward. That's all I can say.


I was in a tough position. I was working full time, needed to be out on my own, my relationship was ready to advance..I had to do it. I was miserable at home because I needed to grow.


When I made the decision to move out, my Mother..we thought..was alright. We signed a lease, had our move in date, and waited. Things progressed quickly and I did have some guilt about my decision, but its not something I regret doing.


But I did have the support of my Dad and sister, and friends and family. They understood my position, and my Mother's good friend shared with me that my Mother was proud of me, and she was so happy to see her children moving on with life. That did give me comfort.



You do what you can. I still stayed involved right until her death. Alot of phone calls, appointements, nights in the hospital. I cried every night regardless, but I would have done that at home under their roof vs in my own place.


I feel like myself and my family were able to move forward alot better afterwards with the decisions that were made on my be behalf.

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  • 2 years later...

This is my reply. My mother is sick and I can't stand my home, I'm her caregiver and I do everything around here, I'm 21 i don't go to school so i can take care of everything. My brother is abusive and i can't live here much longer, but i feel so much guilt for wanting to leave, while she is sick. I will stay, but everytime I think of my future and leaving, the guilt kills me. Any help or advice would be great. None of my friends know what im going through. Thank you

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