Has anyone NEVER felt LOVE before?

[Dougie_D]

I want a kiss. I want sex. I want a girlfriend. I want a relationship. I've never had these before..but most importantly I want to FEEL love. I can be in love with someone but I want mutual love.

I get extremely depressed about it. I try things to improve my chances of meeting women but I don't know why it hasn't happened. Seriously.

Everyone is not perfect. How can someone never become loved?

Is it wrong that I seriously blame a higher being for this burden? I've always thought that God hates me and he laughs at my dream to find love. That's how bad things get.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There are many people who have been in relationships, even married...and they never felt love or were loved in return. I know plenty of relationships and marriages between two people who may kiss each other and have sex, but they don't really love each other and are feeling just as lonely and sad that they have nobody to love and who loves them. These people are also missing out.

[sara-pezzini]

i felt the same way as you, blamed the universe or whatever and was convinced i would die unloved and untouched....until i was 34 and met a man who was willing to take the time and be patient and who loved me for me, flaws and all....so it can happen! i also gave up hope but there he was one day and i am no longer unloved and untouched and unwanted...i know how hard it is and how awful the feeling is, but there is always hope and it may be around the next corner, it can happen tomorrow, you just never know...don't give up hope, there is someone for everyone....

[nutbrownhare]

My father committed suicide back in 1983, and quite apart from the grief you'd associate with bereavement, for the following 20+ years I felt that a part of me had died with him. I once wrote in a diary, thinking about a guy I'd been seeing a couple of years before it happened: 'The wistfulness I felt was not longing for you, but for the me who could have loved you like that'.

 

So for all those years, there were people I was fond of, close to, had great relationships with - but nobody I could feel wholeheartedly about. That's all changed in the last couple of years. It changed very quickly when I met the right guy - not that we don't have our ups and downs.

 

So it's partly meeting the right person - but also look at the deep-seated beliefs about yourself, your self-worth and if it's really God who's laughing at your dreams - and not part of your own personality which is unconsciously sabotaging your efforts.

[MysticRhythms]

I definitely have never felt love from a girl before. Other than friendship.

[dedem]

One of my friends, M, has never felt love for anyone but her family, as far as I know. Never dated, never wanted to, and her closest friends are the ones that don't live in the US. So you are not alone, my friend.

 

Blaming a higher being is only natural. I know I do it. And everyone in a moment of weakness, no matter who they are, feels a need to blame something or someone. Everyone also has dreams of being happy with somebody and finding love (or maybe it's just me, haha)

 

I choose to believe that before death, everyone will have known the feeling of love from another, even if it didn't work out. I'm sure someone will find you very cute, you don't seem abnormal or even ugly to me. You just haven't met the right woman yet.

 

My advice to you is to go out and try your luck at a bar, nightclub, or some other social place. Gather a few guy friends, maybe invite a few female friends as well, and then interact with the ladies and see where it goes. Even if you don't get lucky, you'll still have your friends to party with. A confident, carefree guy is an attractive guy, but a guy who comes off as too needy... not so much.

 

Good luck.

[twentiesgirl86]

I've never felt love. I want to. I want to know what it's like to love someone outside of my family, or someone who isn't my cat. I fall for a guy, and I end up wishing to be with him so I can experience love but I never do. I keep hoping I will someday. Sometimes I feel as if I never will meet anyone.

[YakasJourney]

The idea of love is nice but what is it exactly? We all think we want it. We spend a lot of time dreaming about it. But it never really materializes exactly as we imagine it. At least that's what I've learned. I say, go out and look for something. Take what you can get, and give what you are able to. I think God will guide us into relationships that teach us something, but you have to be out there, allowing it to happen. A relationship could materialize out of the smallest random thing. It's up to you to be present for that moment and take the hint. If you are looking down at the ground in pity, you'll completely miss it.

[John Cage]

Love comes to the Willing is all I can say.

 

Some people like to play the tragic hero(ine) and act like love is some divine intervention that one achieve once in a lifetime and maybe less.

 

Love might not be the "easiest" thing to come around but it really is part of human nature and thus we are built to love. I don't want to sound like a pharmacy 5 dollar romance novel but love is probably as natural as eating. The only difference is that we never spend much time ANALYZING eating. If people sit around wondering how their throat work and try to will it to swallow food, then chances are some people would actually mess up their natural ability to eat properly.

 

There are a few things I see people doing far too much...

 

1) Create Drama. I often thought people grow out of their drama after their 16th birthday but apparently, I am dead wrong. If we learn to see humans are logical machines who selfish drives then we will understand love and achieve it without unrealistic expectations. People often state that they want to experience this divine connection and share this unrealistic connection. They want to run through meadows in a hot summer day... But in real life, who the heck drives up state to some weird meadow and run around in it? Tone down the Snow White and Prince Charming fantasies and you can easily fall in love by giving everyday connections a try. People tend to reject relationships or be so fearful of failure that they doom themselves to be unable to love.

 

The "tough" truth is that we all love... But like all things in life, there's a value to love. A number, a degree if you will. You will love your friend more than your dog (I hope and probably love your mother more than your friend (again, I am speaking for the average John/Jane). Love is born from the wisdom to realize that you might not have found picture perfect love, but it's love nevertheless. If everyone aims for PERFECT love, then Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolie would be the ONLY happy couple in the world (based on the assumption that everyone has a celebrity crush, and ideally they would be able to meet someone as close to their ideal as possible). Ideals are meant as a compass, kinda like the sun or the moon for sailors... You go EAST toward the sun, but you sure as heck don't expect to ARRIVE at the sun, right?

[nutbrownhare]

The only difference is that we never spend much time ANALYZING eating. If people sit around wondering how their throat work and try to will it to swallow food, then chances are some people would actually mess up their natural ability to eat properly.

Really interesting point, this. There ARE people who think obsessively about eating, digestion and their food intake - whether this is starvation, over-indulgence or purging.

 

They have what are known as 'eating disorders'.

 

I think that as a society we are so accustomed to an approach to love that is essentially unrealistic and dysfunctional, that it's become the norm. In any other sphere of life the attitudes would be considered pathological!