what is happening?

[istawurst]

ok...so I am an attractive, well-educated and well-liked person. I have a number of guy friends that I know like me, but they never act on their feelings. So we remain friends with sexual tension and weird ambiguousness. What is the deal? I am sick of being that girl they love but are afraid to actually love, if you get my drift. Am I doing something wrong? Why won't they act?

[Keyman]

Do they know that you are interested in them? And what would the harm be in you asking one of them?

 

From a male point of view, I'm sick of having to try to talk to every girl in the room in hope that one might wont to have a conversation and get rejected half the time. These days I don't bother, half an evening full of rejections can wear a guy down.

[rosephase]

Why won't they act?

 

Why won't you?

[elcie]

Who are you interested in? If you are interested in someone more than the others then fix your attention on him and don't flirt with the others. It may be too confusing for them if they know about each other.

[PaintWithLight]

They have no game and are a little intimidated by you. Are those the guys you want to spend time with? Then it is a simple solution of you sending a clear, open signal that you are approachable and interested. Of course, in 2 weeks, you may wish to send them all away. Natural selection seems to be at work here. Those will courage and the charm to talk to you will approach, the rest of the pack will hang back and look longingly. Be patient, the right guy will not even hesitate.

[istawurst]

thanks for your responses!

 

should clarify that there are basically two guys in the picture. one i have know for a long time [A] and just came back into the picture (but lives in another state). the other i just recently met but keeps me at bay.

 

[A] knows but not because i directly told him and i am sure friends have talked about it to him. ... knows but doesn't want to move beyond the world of drunken-ness but gives me signals and says that he is potentially more serious, i guess just not now. they don't know about each other, and if i knew that there was a real possibility for something with [A] i would choose him.

 

i have tried with both to pursue them and it seems to just send them running ([A] years ago, recently). i seem at a loss for how to go from great friends to really dating. how do you cross that threshold? i either remain virtually silent or am too full on i guess.

[istawurst]

They have no game and are a little intimidated by you. Are those the guys you want to spend time with? Then it is a simple solution of you sending a clear, open signal that you are approachable and interested. Of course, in 2 weeks, you may wish to send them all away. Natural selection seems to be at work here. Those will courage and the charm to talk to you will approach, the rest of the pack will hang back and look longingly. Be patient, the right guy will not even hesitate.

 

i think there is an intimidation factor going on. i am quite tall and am more educated and more successful than both (both are very smart and great in their own careers). it seems too much?

[greywolf]

I think the vibe we send out is a huge factor. I'm friendly, but I don't really get very close to people because I tend to be reserved I think, and I've noticed that the times that I've gotten approached the most is when I felt more emotionally 'open' and not closed off.

[istawurst]

i really agree with paintwithlight, but i know that i am closed off sometimes like greywolf suggests. i am good friends with these guys, so there is obviously not that awkwardness. i guess my issue still remains how to open up...but not so much that i have them running.