Is Looking At Other Girls Cheating?

[drahcir]

I was always taught and believe firmly to this day that if a person is in a comitted relationship (boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged, married) with someone and you even look at and appreciate the attractivenness of another person, that is cheating. Even looking at another girl, or another guy, even for a second, is wrong. Yet I am surprised that so many people I know think that such a rule is ridiculous...what does everyone here think??? Is looking at someone else because they are attractive cheating--I believe it is..what do you think?

[sweetpea4670]

I feel that looking at attractive people is not cheating, because if it was, everyone in the world would be guilty of cheating. It is human nature to notice attractive people and look at them. I don't believe this to be cheating at all. It is impossible to blind yourself to any attractive people that you might run into. It would be cheating, however, if someone acted on these impulses and pursued another attractive person. As long as all you're doing is looking, it is definitely not cheating, because every single person (even if they deny it), look at and admire attractive people.

[bb13]

No. There is nothing wrong with looking at other girls. If you go as far as to fantasize about them then that is wrong. Not cheating, but wrong. I am in a terrific relationship and we both love each other. But I do still see beauty in other girls. I have some pretty female friends and I've told them that they are pretty. Not in a flirtacious, hitting-on way but as a complement. There's nothing wrong with noticing attactivenes of others when in a relationship

[fantasia2004]

I think it is how you look at them that can pose a threat to the other person as disrespect. If you ogle thema and flirt in front whether your partner knows or not it is the same thing but it is not considered cheating.

[Beec]

Looking is not cheating. Flirting is not cheating. Looking and flirting in front of your partner is not cheating. However, noticeably looking and cheating in front of your partner is wrong and disrespectful. I think even sitting there verbally swooning over a celebrity on TV or in some other media, while you partner is present, is wrong. It our job to make our partners feel secure and that includes making them feel secure about how they look. Now, if your partner is not present and you happen to see something hot walking by, I see nothing wrong with not struggling to keep your eyes off of the hottie. Try and be dsicrete and don't hit on them.

 

I also see nothing wrong with a little fantasy, but your partner should not know about it.

[Day_Walker]

Ultimately you decide what is right or wrong (in this case what is cheating and what isnt). I believe that looking at an attractive female while I am in a committed relationship isnt cheating, you will encounter attractive people where ever you go. It is something that is out of the realm of your control thinking that if you look at an attractive person while your are in a committed relationship sounds like jealous person who doesnt trust their partner.

[SteveNaive]

I have to agree with beec. Hey, if looking is cheating, we´d really be doing it all the time. And it is really hard to tell whether you are just looking at someone "attractive" or not...in latter case you´d be allowed to look?! Hmm...sounds a bit strange to me. An who decides what is attractive anyway? The one who looks or the potentially jealous partner?!

 

Even flirting is something I cannot really disapprove of, at least not as far as cheating is concerned. Yes it is disrespectful, yes it is plain mean, but I wouldn´t go as far to say it is cheating. Cheating has to involve some sort of physical contact as well as a "guilty mind", or at least "flirting with intent"...but maybe I am too liberal with that.

[fantasia2004]

Beec wrote

 

It is our job to make our partners feel secure and that includes making them feel secure about how they look.

]

 

Is it our job to make our partners secure or should they know that already by now?

[Francis]

I was also taught that looking at people of the other sex is a form of cheating.

 

In my religion, we are not supposed to look at people of the other sex, who are in the age of reproduction (from 13 to 65 I guess) in the eyes.

 

When I was with my former boyfriends, I never looked at other guys and never felt the desire or the need to do so. I talked with other guys, but always tried to avoid looking at them in the eyes.

 

I guess because of this, I never had crushes on guys. I had very few boyfriends and they were my very best friends first, only then love developed.

 

On the other hand, I know that in North America, where most people are issued from a Christian background, people distrust those who don't look at them in the eyes. An I know I have significant difficulties to look at people in the eyes unless I know them fairly well.

 

For all these reasons, and also because I am not religious anymore, I have been trying to look at people in the eyes, particularly guys.

 

Well, in the last couple of months I have forced myself to look at guys in the eyes when they talk to me : Well, I don't know whether this was a good idea because I've already had two major crushes on two guys at work and I don't even think we are compatible at all!

 

I think I'll go back to my former self and avoid again to look at guys in the eyes: I have the feeling that doing so stirs a lot of instinctual responses, crushes, etc. and I feel that I lose control of my emotions. I'd rather be attracted by a guy who is actually compatible with me.

 

In fact, I lost a very good opportunity with a very nice guy from my same religion because I had a major crush on another guy.

 

I think it is better not to look for the stability of relationships.

[goddess23]

no i dont think looking is cheating. as everyone said, its human nature. to me flirting is cheating if you do it purposely. see, im one of those naturally flirtatious people, like i dont even want to im not attracted to the person but the way i talk or interact with people they may take it as flirting. but if i was like really putting it on to like chop a hot guy then that would be cheating. but looking is not cheating, seriously, its not. my bf is not blind, im not the only beautiful person in the world, him looking wouldnt bother me, but if he does it infront of me, then it will make me feel a little bothered and i think thats disrespectful.

[foul-play]

looking is ok just don't touch more thatn you're willing to keep

[Beec]

Beec wrote

 

It is our job to make our partners feel secure and that includes making them feel secure about how they look.

]

 

Is it our job to make our partners secure or should they know that already by now?

 

I stand by my statement, at least as far as the relationship goes. For instance, when your partner gets a big honking zit, do you make fun of it and push them away or let them know it doesn't matter you still think they look hot? Yes, I do think it is our job to make our partners feel secure, mostly regarding how we feel about them.

 

It's not our job to go back and cure all of their insecurties they have developed during or from childhood.