istawurst Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 so...i was told the other night that he "didnt want any pressure" and coming back to my apartment with me would count as "pressure" (not that i even INVITED him!!). he did not quite say it in so many words (he was annoyingly very nice about it), but here i am saying "lets be friends?" and texting "great! i am glad we agree". i dont understand why i did this. i do like him and do want something (i feel REALLY attracted to him), but i guess really really, he's not anything like a good long term partner (seriously commitment-phobic, family issues, debt issues and addiction issues). ugh...i feel like he just got whatever he wanted from me the "yes, whatever you want" person. yet at the same time am totally relieved that he's gone. anyone have some advice? i am totally confusing myself here. it kind of feels like a "i want what i cant have" situation. if so, how do i avoid it in the future? i feel like i have made a complete idiot out of myself...my self-respect has completely plummeted... Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Is this not the process of dating, to find someone of worthiness to last long term? Have you not determined that? Why are you being so hard on yourself for apparently making the wrong choice? Perhaps all you can do differently is be a little more cautious and find out about the person. Take notice of any red flags that occur keep some tabs on them until the either grow or are resolved. I do understand where you are coming from, I went through a process because I was eager to get involved. You end up pursuing anyone that begins liking you, or who acts in a certain manner around you. Take a step back and ask yourself is this person right for you, and if they are then take things slowly. Learn a bit of patience, I know it's hard, trust me I know, and don't give out your heart to easily. Take your time, get to know the person, let them get to know you and then when you are sure, and they are sure, throw your heart into the mix. Just don't be hard on yourself when it doesn't work out. They don't always. Link to comment
istawurst Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 cheers. you are absolutely right. i am way too eager to get involved generally (not that i am suggesting i would take anything). thanks for your advice! greatly appreciated!! Link to comment
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