Does She Have a Crush on Him?

[hers]

You shouldn't get on fb if it'll just help you keep further tabs on her.

 

And you can still post here but ease up on the posts about her bc its not helping you. Instead post about how to get yourself help.

[iBroken]

I should really get on facebook, maybe that would help, ugh

 

Um that would make things worse.........seeing all her activities, guys liking her posts, her status update etc......If you cant handle what you see in her browsing history, you will NOT be able to see her facebook daily.

[hers]

Um that would make things worse.........seeing all her activities, guys liking her posts, her status update etc......If you cant handle what you see in her browsing history, you will NOT be able to see her facebook daily.

 

Word..........

[TomboyMS]

I agree with the others that are saying that you need to ease up with the snooping. I also agree that your gf hasn't done anything wrong. I get the feeling that isn't what you want to hear though. Sorry. Unfortunately, the advice that a person wants to hear isn't usually that helpful.

 

I saw it once, curiosity got the best of me and I checked again (that's my issue)

 

I'm here for help, if you want to question me you can, but I don't exactly enjoy this frame of mind

[OptomisticGirl]

without telling me to get over it and that im being insecure, do you think what she's doing is normal or is it a cause for concern?

 

It's normal. For the millionth time, it's normal. I found this thread by browsing a friend's posts on here and I KNEW It was you. That says a lot and not in a good way. But see? I was being nosey and going through someone's posts - which to be fair anyone can do, I'm just bored - doesn't mean I have a crush on them or I want to jump their bones. I'm curious, I'm a curious person.

 

And the fact that its just a ONS that she only saw twice doesnt mean its worse?

 

She could be doing it when she's bored - as I stated above with myself.

 

The difference is that an ex is someone you shared your life with a ONS is someone you hook up with for exactly that

 

But technically she did share somethign with him - her. So he IS part of her past, the only difference is it wasn't for long.

[hexaemeron]

OP: I want you to look up the threads started by an ENA favorite: princess5. Read every post with her most recent (current?) boyfriend. Should go back about a year and a half. Then I want to know if your outlook has changed at all.

[soporcogitavi]

OP: I want you to look up the threads started by an ENA favorite: princess5. Read every post with her most recent (current?) boyfriend. Should go back about a year and a half. Then I want to know if your outlook has changed at all.

 

I read, and I see and I realize where you're going with this, I understand, and ive thought of how crazy this all is.

 

I hate feeling and thinking like this, and the funny thing is im not jealous or insecure in our relatiuonship regarding anything else. She has EX BF's on facebook that she chats with, guys that she meets that thinks she's hot, guys that try and pick her up, and I couldnt care or be bothered.

 

This is how I work: I get an Idea or belief in my head, and I start asking questions, I believe that im a logical person and when i say im logical I mean that I try and reason through things with my logic and I dont let them go until I make sense of it.

 

The reason ive harped on this for so long is because. I havent made sense of it in my head, what i mean by that is: I cannot put myself in her shoes and imagine myself having the need to check a ONS FB updates and the the people this ONS is becoming freinds with. I dont see the relevance, the need, what it achieves, what the curiosity is about. I just dont understand the frequency and reasoning behind looking up on a ONS, that you apparently never had any feelings for, or didnt want a relationship with, and the fact that the ONS ended because he moved away mean that it ended because it had to not because he was a jerk or a bad guy or whatever (it was made inconvenient for both parties to continue anything)

 

The only thing that makes sense in my head is that if I were to do any of those things, that would mean I have feelings, or regrets of not being with that person, a need to know something in their life.

 

And what drives me even crazier is that usually im pretty good at reading people.

 

Does this make sense?

[hexaemeron]

Sure it does. You'll find no greater champion for cool logic on ENA than I. However, that being said, you cannot filter everyone else's actions through your own. Just because you'd do something in her place, doesn't mean she's going to do that. People's motivations and perspectives are all over the place. She's her own person, not a series of actions and reactions to be studied and filtered through your mental assessment matrix.

 

You have a very very limited window here in order to get this under control. My honest recommendation is that you just turn your brain off. Seriously. I almost never say this because usually in situations people aren't using their brains nearly enough. But yours is in overdrive, caught in a logic loop. And your loop is getting progressively worse, consuming more of you to try to resolve it.

 

Turn. It. Off. In the words of the indelible Liz Lemon, SHUT IT DOWN. Either you're going to commit to trusting her and letting it go, or you're not. You cannot drag this woman into a marriage because you think marriage is going to resolve this in your head. It's your issue and you must be the one to deal with it, one way or another.

[soporcogitavi]

I will do my absolute best to block this from my head, and you're right my window is limited. I know I cant fit someone else's logic in mine and that sort of thinking is flawed. Its hard to get it out of my head, its like this intense feeling that doesnt leave and just lingers. Its honestly making functioning normally a difficult task.