jay278 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 heya! lil confused about how to go about this situation and thought maybe this would help.. excuse my spelling and grammar im male 22 and im a virgin.. last night i got my first handjob from my flatmates lil sister lets call her becky who is 1 year older then I. Im pretty sure has a crush on me but wont admit it.. everytime she comes over here she makes me talk to her alone, she falls asleep on my bed when i ask her to leave over and over she ignores me and we sleep together anyway (im a bit to shy to really get her to leave plus i do like the company), she's always trying to touch me and hug also always laughing at my stupid jokes. now the thing is.. ive had a massive crush on another girl from my netball team for quite sometime now (i play netball simply to see her everyweek) but im far to shy to make a move. Ive told Becky this quite a few times now and she kinda goes "awww ur so cute n innocent" and then she'll persist with the flirty talk and whatnot.. i find it hard to resist her when she's all over me like that.. but in saying that its all lust i really don't feel much for her because the girl on my netball team just makes me melt.. so last night Becky did it again.. most times we just sit up and talk and hug but last night i confessed that i didnt really like laying with her because she falls to sleep after a few hours and im left laying there wide awake with a throbbing u know what. i said that to her and she said "well i could help with that" she reached down and started giving me a handjob.. now i have offered to have sex with her.. ive offered to go down on her.. i think maybe because im a virgin she doesnt let me??? i dont know.. but whatever this is where it gets bad.. becky is a very nice girl i see her as a good friend of mine but for me there is no physical attraction there. lets be real though.. any girl can give a guy an erection.. but the thing is i couldnt cum.. she is doing a very good job.. im rock solid.. but after 30-45 mins she notices im not gonna peak and she gave up.. fine whatever.. i actually fell asleep for once with her soon after.. she wakes me up at 4 in the morning.. im thinking "holy crap she hasnt been to sleep yet" we talked for a while more and then she reached down and started up on me again! this time i started kissing her.. i let myself go a bit and was able to cum.. so im just wondering.. does she know im not attracted to her? i dont have the heart to tell her but i probably should.. also my flatmate is her older sister.. her names adelle and is one of my best friends.. its a dodgy situation and ive told becky a number of times to leave my room, that i have a massive crush on linda (netball girl), and that im a virgin waiting for the right girl no i aint religious at all lol still she persists.. so what do u guys think? i should man up and tell her im not available? or get into a relationship with her knowing i have no real attraction to her physically mentally or even emotionally.. its just ive never had a gf never had sex and its really nice to have a girl touch me and show interest.. i feel like im bein a manipulative * * * * Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Do not start a relationship with her. You need to tell her as frankly as possible that letting her give you a handjob was a mistake and that you don't think its a good idea for her to spend time alone with you. You maybe shy, but you need to step up and handle this situation. She needs to be told the truth before you do something that you may regret. Link to comment
elcie Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Sorry, I have to say this, but you're not the one doing the "manipulating"; (no pun intended... well just a bit); but this girl is just way too pushy and is taking advantage of your concerns for everyone else's feelings and forcing herself upon you. If you are truly not interested then tell her that straight out, and maybe put a lock on your door! Link to comment
RedDress Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Honestly? I think you are making the classic mistake. You are ALL about this Linda girl... but... what good is that? You haven't made a move on her at all. Is Linda even into you? Meanwhile you have this girl who you like (at least as a friend), who's ALL over you, who you insist you are not attracted to. Umm... you ARE attracted to her. Maybe not in the same animal way, maybe you are MORE attracted to Linda - but you are attracted to her. Otherwise you would never have been able to kiss her, get hard, etc. Nevermind that - you would never have let her in your bed! You'd be grossed out at the thought. I dunno. I can't advocate that you go out with Becky if you really don't like her/feel you are attracted to her. But... yanno... I think you should make a move on Linda. NOW. Then, if things work out, you can simply tell Becky about Linda (since she already knows). If things DON'T work out with Linda... then... who knows. Unless of course you are 100% sure you don't want to be with Becky. It's just a little bit shady, but you are not in an exclusive relationship with Becky and Becky knows what the deal is. But you can't drag it out. That's cruel. You have one week to make a move on Linda or cut it out with Becky. Then the world implodes. Link to comment
colorado79 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 agresel - that made me laugh so hard! Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You need to break this into two separate decisions. 1) Whether it is a good idea for you to play with fire with the sister of a flatmate knowing that all could blow up. You need to reset your boundaries with her. 2) Your crush on the Linda dreamgirl from Netball does not make you unavailable. It sounds like you need to start making a play for her and see how things develop. The fact you claim to be great friends with both the flatmate and younger sister makes this seem like an even worse idea. Why complicate things with the people you live with and spend time around. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You don't need a girl to jack you off, especially if you can't finish. I would back off and leave it as friends with her. Persue Linda and in the mean time use your own hands. Can't go wrong man. Link to comment
BMP2CPM Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 This girl moves you, at least in one way. That should count for something. Plus it sounds like she's willing to please you. You're a challenge, so she's interested. You could have a lot of fun with this. You could either be with a woman who's totally into you or be with a woman that's not that into you. Your choice. You're young and there's no reason why you have to be exclusive with anyone at this age. Date different women at the same time. Be honest about that you're not ready to be exclusive. But I would keep this one around for a while. Good luck! Link to comment
WildChild Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 My first thought, is that she wants to be the one that 'taints' him...meaning, being the " 'naughty' next door neighbor girl" Link to comment
doyathink Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 My first thought, is that she wants to be the one that 'taints' him...meaning, being the " 'naughty' next door neighbor girl" Uh huh! My thoughts too lol. She's wanting to score! Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I was going to suggest that he offer to take her camping. He only has to bring firewood, he wouldn't even need matches, all he'd have to do is hand her two sticks and tell her to rub them together. Can you say 'Bonfire!'? ROFL! Dude that's the first thing I thought too, 30-45 minutes?!? This girl can certainly make a living..hahhhaha Link to comment
salva Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Who cares what she looks like? This girl is a keeper! LMAO!! Seriously though, even if I laugh and definitely "agree" with Agresel (good one ), I wouldn't start any relationship with a girl I don't really feel attracted to. And that would be my advice to anyone in this situation. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 ROFL! Dude that's the first thing I thought too, 30-45 minutes?!? This girl can certainly make a living..hahhhaha As a fellow woman I give her props - no way in H would I give a hand job for that long. Link to comment
Fey Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Don't get into a relationship with her. If you're thinking about Linda or whoever it may be already instead of her then you're eventually going to hurt her by dumping her when you get the girl you're more interested in. Just be straightforward. Also if you end up leaving her hurt , then you'll also be dealing with her older sister....not worth it. Link to comment
Lampshade Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 This is the thing that continually amazes me about women - if they like you, they'll really go after you, despite any objections or protesting on your part. You can tell them to get lost a million times and they just won't listen. Until you finally piss her off when she realizes that you really don't like her that way. And god save you when that happens. Link to comment
John Cage Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Who cares what she looks like? This girl is a keeper! I second that ! Link to comment
jay278 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 hahaha the bonfire thing cracked me up arite well ill clarify a few things ~becky has weird spiritual beliefs and can be very aggresive.. she freaks me out sometimes ~adelle her older sister is my flatmate for 2 years and we are very close mates.. adelle knows everything me and becky have done ~linda IS the dreamgirl.. however she just broke up with her ex.. it was a 3 year relationship and i feel i need to give her some time and space.. she is 25 and knows im a virgin and that i have a crush on her.. her exact words were "im just not ready for a relationship right now" after i told her.. im guessing that means she isnt interested and is letting me down easy.. or has a slight interest but is still hung up on her ex and needs time.. i don't know.. i am in no rush.. the friend approach is fine. ~going back to becky.. people seem to forget she's kinda forced herself upon me.. yea sure the handjobs the hugs and even the freaky talk is alot of fun.. but thats all it is for me.. i think i need to call it off.. i would wait for linda, im just glad she knows im alive Link to comment
velvette Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 are you linda's friend? do you guys hang out once in a while, touch base? just say you understand, but would still like to get to know her more. give her space, of course, but at least hang out outside volleyball once in a while! coffee, whatever. however, it's somewhat common that girls prefer older men (even by a day, but at least older). just ingrained through media/culture/tradition. that COULD be one reason she's crossed you off "the list", besides having just gotten out of a relationship. so you might have to try harder, or find a different crush. Link to comment
Snowy Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I would totally be satisfied with Becky... Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Man, Snowy, I have so many comments in my head. Imma just let this one slide. OP - glad you at least talked to her. See if she wants to hang out once in a while after some time has passed. If she says no, I think you have your indication. Keep in mind, a lot of girls are not ready to date for a while after a breakup. Link to comment
Snowy Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Man, Snowy, I have so many comments in my head. Imma just let this one slide. OP - glad you at least talked to her. See if she wants to hang out once in a while after some time has passed. If she says no, I think you have your indication. Keep in mind, a lot of girls are not ready to date for a while after a breakup. Haha better keep those comments to yourself to save yourself an infraction LOL. I guess my last comment was a bit silly. But yeah...OP shouldn't get with Becky if his true feelings are with Linda. Link to comment
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