SA's Healing Journal

[dasilver]

It took me 10 hours to read this whole thread. Started reading this from work and just finished it now.

 

Whew!

 

This is incredible.

 

SA2000 thank you so much for taking the time, the patience and the energy to write this journal.

 

This has clearly given me a new perspective on how the male psyche works. I am so grateful for this thread.

 

Thank you also gallop30....Sim....22 and Call....Oh!! and Congratulations to thekid55...You guys are all truly amazing.

 

SA2000 i just have one question. Are you going to make a decision with TX lady?

[SA2000]

Glad I could help. She comes to my city Tuesday. Until we Live in the same city I will not make any strong commitment. I want to have a realistic plan. Until then I will take life as it comes. She definitely wants to be together and is willimg to move but wants me to give her a time frame of how long we'd be in my city. I can't do that just yet.

 

 

I am currently traveling again. I'm in NY right now. Had a little relapse on missing the ex. We both micro blog and I posted a few things that indicated I missed her. She returned the favor. Although we are in communication we don't talk about that kind of stuff. Basically because I don't want to. Oh well. I'm back to normal now. My mom asked if we would be together had she not had a baby. I told her probably but I don't think about that.

 

Other than that life I good. Just gotta stay focused. I've been less concerned with my personal life and more concerned with life in general.

[SA2000]

Oh man. TX is tightening the screws! She wants to know where this is headed etc. she doesn't want to move and understands that I can't move. But she doesn't want to lose me. And she wants to settle down and have kids. But there's no way she's moving here. So where does that leave us?

[SA2000]

Im tired and crabby. Kind of pissed that TX wanted to "talk" at 1 am after I just drove 11 hours. She's not one for selfishness but that's really not a good time. I barely remember what I said. Now she flys in today and I already have a negative taste in my mouth. As much as I would like to keep her in my life, maybe it's best I let her go.

[dasilver]

SA2000,

 

I hope you two don't break-up but if you do i'll be sorry to hear it.

 

She sounds like a fantastic lady

 

I hate break-ups.

[thekid55]

Good ole SA. Tangled, tangled web you are in my friend. Gotta make a decision and roll with it.

[SA2000]

I hear you Kid. After spending 8 days with the TX lady I realize that I do like her. We realized we need a plan or this is going to get old fast. We are still working in the plan. I have basically cut all of the other ladies out of my life. But if she we don't have a plan to be in the same city or state even in the next 6 months I'm going to cut the cord. Too bad. Sea a great chick. Sucks that distance would be the reason it won't work.

[SA2000]

My ex once said I'd be fine without her. She was right. Haven't heard a peep in a while. It's best that way. Just heard a song that reminded me of her. It all seems so long ago now. I feel great.

[miss_sunshine86]

I have been reading your journal.

 

I remember when I broke up with my ex for the second time last year, we were posting at the same time.

 

If only I had used that time inbetween getting over him. I got back with him and now I am back to square one because he did the EXACT same thing again. I will move on this time.

[SA2000]

That sucks Heartbroken. I'm not a big fan of giving it more than a try and a half myself. Each time I have had a break up from a serious relationship we gave it another try. Each time neither of us had changed and had the additional issue of the fact that be broke up to deal with. 6 months later we split again. I feel for you. Take some time to yourself and if you're ready, really let go. I feel much better now a days.

 

You ladies really know how to all pop out of the woodwork at once. I hadn't heard from anyone other than TX in about two weeks. Then last night the nurse and ex start texting me. Crazy. I realized tho that I am really not all that interested in either of them. I'm in no rush to have anything serious and consistent in my life. Which is why TX lady is perfect. Hopefully that works out.

[SA2000]

Hmmm. It seems as though TX is mad at me. The nurse commented on a status on Facebook about me wanting to travel. She said she is going to Tampa and that I might fit into her bag. TX texted me an asked who she was. Then I didn't hear from her all day. She finally called and said she was going for a run and then had some work to do. The old too busy line. I've used that one before. I know she's pissed or concerned or something but she honestly doesn't have a good reason in my opinion. She doesn't know the full story. And I am NOT interested in dating the nurse. She's too immature. Whatever I guess.

[SA2000]

And then my ex shows up. I don't know why but lately when I talk to her I feel a little worse afterwards. Not upset but upset for her. Maybe I just need to get out if my house more.

[SA2000]

Turns out TX was mad about the nurse. But I'm not interested in the nurse so I just got rid of Facebook. Simple solution. Normally I'd tell her to stop posting on my wall but that conversation is a headache. And I barely use Facebook anyways. Not much of a loss.

[JA0371]

Hey SA...wow, this thread is awesome..

Glad you are finally over the ex, which is why you started this thread in the first place.

Hope you keep us updated...Its kinda like watching a soap opera now

'As SA's World Turns' lol....

[SA2000]

Haha. I get to watch it all first hand. Especially the crappy parts.

 

Well TX and I made up. She's considering the Chicago job. She asked me about the nurses post on my Facebook and if there was anything there. I told her no. And there honestly isn't. The nurse is a little too immature. She actually reminds me a lot of the ex when I met her. But that's a project I'm not interested in taking on again.

 

The ex randomly asked me if I was ok last night. Im like uh, yeah. She's like ok. I havent talked to you in a while. I wonder if she still thinks we belong together and is still waiting for me to realize it like she told me in the past. Eh, actually it really doesn't matter.

 

I'm putting work first. I should be able to secure a 34% raise if I stay focused. My personal life takes a back seat to that.

[SA2000]

Just texted the ex to tell her I was telling a funny story about her. She said she would drink to the story. I told her to take a shot for me. She said "Boooo." Anyone not familiar with the Drake song, look up the lyrics. We are both big fans and she got the reference. Haha!

[SA2000]

Went out with a colleague tonight. He's the guy who hits on anything that can fog a mirror. I watched him get shot down numerous times and laughed all night. Then one of the cutest girls on the bar picked me up. Funny how it works. She seems cool. Spends a lot of time in Miami. I love that city. Nothing wrong with making new friends right?

 

Then I ran into a girl that I've known in a life's past. We shared a few laughs. All in all solid night. And I was only out for 2 drinks.

[SA2000]

I went out with a few buddies last night and ended up meeting up with the girl from the previous night. I realized she's too old for me so that's that.

 

I then ran into a girl I briefly mentioned a while back. She's a traffic reporter for the morning news and does some kind of promotional work for a car co. I think she's also into pageantry which I find to be weird. We ended up talking and went to get something to eat. Then she came over and watched half of a movie. She knows my ex and she came up in conversation. She said we are still in love with eachother. I told her if that were the case, I'd be with her. She smiled and said "true".

 

Nothing happened after that. We just passed out. She's nice but im not really interested at this point. Maybe I really do like TX. If she were closer I'm sure something serious would develop. I guess we'll see what happens.

[SA2000]

My ex just friended me on yet another social networking sight. Funny how someone once didn't want to be a part of your life anymore will do anything to stay in it later.

[SA2000]

Kind of feels as though TX and I are drifting apart. I kind of am ok with that. I kind of feel as though I don't really need a specific lady in my life right now. I like her but this always happens after a good few weeks of not seeing eachother.

[dasilver]

My ex just friended me on yet another social networking sight. Funny how someone once didn't want to be a part of your life anymore will do anything to stay in it later.

 

So true. I guess in the heat of the moment people say things they don't mean.

 

It's very hard to take something back that you've already said.

[PJA1982]

SA2000, I just wanted to say thank you for putting your journal online. I've read your story and it is so strikingly similar to mine. It's uncanny.

 

Whilst I don't have my ex upping the ante to the degree that yours has something must be said for a woman who finds security in an instant rebound upon breaking up with you yet spends the best part of the next few years dropping back around doing their best to get in your head.

 

I find it easy to get dirty about it but at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for her.

[SA2000]

No prob dude. No need to get nasty tho in my opinion. I can understand why anyone would be pissed or disappointed or whatever but I think it's way better to keep a cool head at all times. Not saying you're the aggressive type or what not, just my style. In the long run you'll always come out ahead.

 

I still get a little, I don't want to say down, (upset maybe?) about the whole situation when I'm hung over. Not that I would do anything differently but upset I ended up in this position. I guess I can't really complain in all honesty. Life is pretty damn decent. But I do get bored from time to time. But when I was there I wanted to be here. Now I have all of the freedom I could have ever asked for. I just have to figure out what to do with it. Eh, whatever.

 

TX has been acting a little strange lately. I think the distance is getting to her. I dont think it's at a breaking point tho. She's just disappointed that we can't see eachother more. Im so focused on career that I don't really notice.

[italiannmf24]

Haven't read this journal in years it feels like.

 

Glad to see you're doing well, SA. Seems that everything does get better in the end with these types of situations. I feel that if you stayed with your ex, your career would've never been so uplifting and your life would be far less than what it is now.

 

One thing I've learned about this journal (and thekid's) is that life will surpass you if you let it. Being willing to advance yourself and your endeavors no matter what kind of stress or pressure you're put under is a trait that I'd like to gain one day soon.

 

Good looks.

[SA2000]

A wise man once told me "ain't nothin to it but to do it". Although I would have gotten here either way, the breakup definitely lit a fire. I'm not done yet. Big raise coming in December! You can get to wherever you want Italian. Ain't nothin to it but to do it.