Two weeks after break up (lost track of NC days)

[notgivingup]

What happened (Update)

 

1/13 My facebook email to him

 

Hey ___,

 

Even though I know that finding out that you have a girlfriend in the future might hurt me, I also want to be able to turn to you in the future. I don't know if you will feel the same way when you find out that I have a boyfriend in the future. I do not want to cut you out of my life and go our separate ways. I care about you alot too, and that's why I want to be your friend and continue being part of your life. I want to be there for you. Do you feel the same way? With that being said, I hope that you will pick up my phone calls, return my phone calls as well as text messages in the future.

 

Me

 

1/23 His Response to me

 

I think I do feel the same way- I want to continue our friendship. Things are just a little strange in the immediate future/past, But yes, I wish you the best- and hope we can talk in the future

 

Hi everyone, I don’t exactly know HOW to feel after reading his response to my email. My first reaction was “stupid email” BUT when I really think about it, why was that a stupid email? Was it really that wrong and stupid of me to send him that email? And another thing is HOW am I supposed to interpret his short email to me? How long do we both have to wait until it is “the future”? WHAT did he mean by “things are just a little strange in the immediate future/past”? Did he send me that email and said all of that “to be polite and to let me off easy”? How long do we have to wait after our break up until we can turn to each other? I want to turn to him now, but I know that that is inappropriate, but then again, when will I know is the appropriate time to turn to him again in the future? God all the thoughts in my mind are racing right now. Am I supposed to feel relieved that he emailed me back?

 

I still miss him and I still think about him. I still reminisce about the dates that we had; the good and the bad. I still focus on my wrongdoings during the relationship and how negatively it had affected our relationship. I still think about I did this and that to ruin things and if I had never done certain things or said certain things, we would still be together. I spent three out of my six hours of the wee morning thinking about all of the mistakes that I had made with three of my previous boyfriends; how some of the mistakes that I had made are repetitive. God those three hours seemed like it lasted forever.

 

My questions to you guys would be:

 

SHOULD I EMAIL HIM BACK? And if I do, what should I say? Should I ask him why he didn’t call or text me on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday a few days ago on my birthday?

 

SHOULD I DEFRIEND HIM ON FACEBOOK? Why or why not?

 

I really need your advice, please help me. I really don’t want to have any regrets. One of my new goals in life is “to live without any regrets”.

 

P.S. I still don’t know how to feel two hours after I read his email.

[KeepMe]

Hmm ... well we don't really know the specifics of why you two broke up, so it makes it a little difficult to answer. This sounds pretty similar to my ex whom I dated for nearly four years. I decided to move on, and things weren't really progressing in the relationship so I decided I should move on. I began to miss him a little, he was practically my bestfriend I was comfortable with him. Anyway, he took the break up really rough and ended up finding someone else, to which I didn't know he was seeing. I sent him an email, a sincere, long thought out apology letter one that he basically threw in the trash folder and never responded. After his rebound gal and him broke up ironically the same time I wrote him a second letter, he messaged me back and said we could still be friends. Well, I got a little carried away and once I got my gallbladder removed he never called me to see how I was feeling, or how I was doing. I made this clear that it hurt my feelings a little since it was "only" me that was doing all the contacting, and calling. This made him quite upset, and what I thought was friendship wasn't the same friendship he was thinking.

 

It's hard to have a "friendly" relationship with someone you previously dated. I don't know much about the two of you's relationship, or what happened, so I don't really understand what he was saying in his response email. It seems as though he feels a bit' awkward with you right now, and really doesn't have much to say. Seems like he just wants a little space, things are awkward for him now, but maybe in the future you two can rekindle a friendship slowly, that's what I pretty much got out of his response. Give it sometime, if he wanted to have a "serious" friendship with you, he would have called you on your birthday. I think right now he just wants some space, and if I were in your shoes I would write him back saying something on the lines of "well thank you for writing me back, I really appreciate it. It makes me glad that you would like to continue to be friends, you seem like you need some space, so when you are ready to talk, send me a line anytime. I'm always here for you." Pretty much see where it goes from there. =/

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything turns out for the best.

If you want to live without any regrets, let him figure his stuff out, you figure your stuff out, and try and move on and have a life without him. Meet some people, hang out with friends, try and work on "your" life, and then when he is ready, and you are ready, slowly work him and his friendship back into your life. Right now you just need to start with a clean slate and build your self being up again. And trust me, that is so much easier said than done, but it's worth it when you can get through it.

Good luck,

-Keep

[DylanNotorious]

SHOULD I EMAIL HIM BACK? - NO

 

SHOULD I DEFRIEND HIM ON FACEBOOK? - Why? You said you want to be friends, so you can't de-friend him. That would just be playing games.

[MasterPo]

Take a deep breath. It's just breakup confusion, alot of questions nobody can answer not even him. Take care of you and take the time to read some ENA. Most likely, all your questions and fears will be answered. Some hard truths, some hope and despair. Remember we are not going to all have the same experiences but the initial shock of breakup is pretty much the same. Maybe you will have a successful recovery, either way, read and keep busy- your life is gonna get bumpy.