I am a 32 Year old Female 5'10", 180lbs, slender/athletic build with no children

[PrincessBOT]

Being the oldest of 4 girls, I felt for many years that I acted mature for my age. However, being 32 and having no responsibility for anything other than myself, I think how I act has caught up to my age or maybe even slightly younger. Adding to that is that 2 of my younger sister married and had kids before me, people think I am the younger sister. Either way, don't think I act in my 40's or 50's, it is more so those guys attempting to be in my age range. As far as work I am proper and professional, but I am more laid back outside of work. I know how to carry myself at events from black tie to basketball games.

 

I have been told that I don't look approachable because I don't smile. But it will be because they see me just walking or on the train, I can be sleepy or thinking of something else, besides who goes around smiling all the time, they would think I have mental issues. One time I had just found out that a friend's of the family's husband killed himself and two kids. I was disturbed and it showed. This man walking by me in the hall out of no where told me smile, WHAT! I didn't know him, he didn't know e and he didn't know what was going on in my life to tell me to smile for what his benefit. How about asking me how am I or why the long face. I really starting to think because of my height people may see me as unapproachable so that I have to be warmer and smile more than a more petite person would be to come off as warm or invitiing.

 

 

 

 

I know I don't look older than my age. Yes, I do relate to them on a mature level, but that is because I am versatile, in dress, in personality and I consider myself intelligent enough to converse on a variety of subjects. As far as clothes, professional at work and fashionable all around. I don't wear a lot of makeup, I used to model so I had makeup put on for shows, but in my everyday personal life, I just started wearing foundation and eyeshadow a couple of years ago. Even then it's not on a daily basis, I usually have on lip gloss and mascarra, that's it, but more make up for outings or special events.....

[bruinsy81]

Agree with #1 and number 2 says easy to get into bed. My male friends in every single case they have told me this is what they think when a women ask them out or if one were to. They basically say I could live it down, but that is what will be on the man's mind.

 

So it's still a debate because I feel, like most women that the natural order of things, at least for serious relationship is boy see girl, boy goes after girl. I want to know how I can make a boy under 40-42 like this 32 year old girl.

I think no.2 might be the case if you are pretty familiar with a man's personality ..If you are quite certain that a man is confident and outgoing and has no problem asking men out then yes he may think you will be easy to get into bed but if you happened to be interested in a shy reserved man they will certainly not think that ,they will welcome an invitation.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

Well, the way of the world is often that older men get younger women. Rarely do you see it the other way but occasionally. I just think men figure it’s ok because it’s so common for older men to score younger women. And when you’re late 40s or early 50s a girl in her early 30s is young to you. And since 30 is hardly old a lot of women still look very hot in their 30s. Heck some women are gorgeous in their 40s. I do find myself attracted to some older women but I have never pursued or acted on it. But some of them look better than girls 10 years or more younger than they are.

 

So I don’t think it’s you and it is quite possibly a compliment since some of these guys might consider you a good looking accessory to show off. I would have to think if you’re attractive you must attract younger men. Maybe you just come off as being too sophisticated and out of their league. I don’t know.

[PrincessBOT]

Out of no where as I am pushing my cart a guy walking by locks eyes with me to the point that I thought he recognized me from church, I'd just got out and I saw a few people from church at the supermarket.

 

Turns out I didn't know the guy, but he wanted to get to know me and wasted no time in telling me his full name, occupation, hobbies and real estate holdings in like 30 seconds flat before asking me could we be friends. They always get me with the friends thing. Before I knew it I'd given him my number more so because I was pulled into his enthusiasm. He seemed to be in his late 40's, definitely over 45.

 

There were tons of men my age and nothing from them, they were in their own worlds so it seems, no eye contact, nothing. I give up, if this is what it is then this is what it is, I guess older men for me it is.....

 

He called me in two hours and we talked for about 45 minutes, good conversation and looking to go out once we get our schedules coordinated....

[annie24]

well, 12 years is not a big age gap, and if you like him, why not?

[PrincessBOT]

I am being optimistic with the 45, my gut tells me it's closer to late 40's early 50's by our conversation, but I can't quite tell from him features because by his looks it could go either way. Ideally I would like the age range to be more like 4-6 years difference max....but this is something I obviously have no control over.

[PrincessBOT]

In the mean time the guy my age that I am interested in like to just call me and talk on the phone for 2 hours at a time. It is very frustrating to be interested in someone and their life makes it so that it's the furthest thing from their mind because of things they are putting first. Seems like career before even considering anything serious with men my age. If they were not grabbed up during college or right after so that they are already involved, then they are hold as they feel their careers are on track.....

[Hikapo]

you packing some pounds there my friend. so the extra pounds make you look older hence the attention from the middle age men.

 

LOL.

 

Anyways, OP, I have a co-worker that is 24 and gets hit on by men from the 40-50's. She is a little slender. I don't know what draws these men to her. Just take it as a compliment.

 

That doesn't always mean you aren't attractive to your own age group though. My co-worker gets asked out by 20-30 year old guys too.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

Ever think to ask this guy you like out? I mean rather than sitting there wondering why he doesn't ask you. Maybe he's painfully shy or you come off as 'out of his league' to him or something.

[Lonewing]

OH Noes!!! Haha, I'm 29 and I love brimmed fedoras with grosgrain feathers, OLD cadillacs, and a whole lot of other things so old they practically ooze that era gone by!

 

Like my 3 vintage saxophones, All of them made in the 1920-1930s!! My Love Car? 1963 Fairlane. No longer my daily driver, but it was for five years. She's ready to run right now, too!!!

 

Someday, when I have time and money, I'm going to rescue and resurrect old cars from fields...I'm Hopeless!!

[Massari]

I can't take the the grunting like a horse when they are getting up after sitting at for a one hour meal, or the entire conversations about the aches and pains remedies, or the hip replacement surgery. I can't take one more Oldsmobile or Cadillac,the feather in the brimmed hat when we dress up, the smell of hot and cold ointment or the glory days stories and I can't appreciate the slight age lines and wrinkles that give a hint of over the hill and the apparent attempts to dress "cool" for my benefit.

 

 

First of all I must say, you are an incredible descriptive writer! this whole paragraph reminded me of the famous book that I am sure most of us read in high school " The catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger" Reading what you wrote , i couldn't stop laughing for a good 10 min and it was bloody hilarious end EPIC!!! and i think it's brilliant, This right here shows that you are an educated woman, then i looked at the pictures that you posted, and i have to say HOLY mother of god, you are very very sexy. I would date you heads down no questions asked, but then i like to date women who are older then me simply because of the maturity level. This is what i am thinking do you think you might be intimidating to some guys? I mean when i see a hot woman your age i immediately think she has her act together and maybe looking for someone to get married and settled down with and if the guy is not in that state of mind yet he won't ask you or approach you simply because doesn't want to be rejected.

 

The older men the ages that you mentioned are for sure in that stage, settled down and all and maybe that's why they are the ones who are approaching you and asking you out. Do you younger guys are not comfortable asking out because they don't know what the respond is from you?

[annie24]

i agree that it might be time to start approaching men you are interested in! who knows, maybe a guy your age fancies you, but immediately thinks you are so hot you must already have a bf! so go talk to him first.

[BB1982]

You look great. I would never have guessed in a million years you were 180 and 5"10 though (and I should be able to guess given I'm female and 5"10) it just shows how silly BMI can be.

The posters before are probably right. People maybe just get more ballsy as they get older.

[cursedgirl]

judging from the numbers..you are quite big for a women and that could be a turn off for young men. but judging from the pic you look totally fine. so maybe, you look too big if you have other girls around. comparison ya know?

also another guess..maybe it's the race? do you mainly date non-black guys?

also depends on your surroundings..im 22..and go to uni for last year and still doing a casual job..consequently every guy i meet is about 19 or 20..so usually 3 years younger than me.hence i never get hit on by old guys as i dont know any of them. however my problem is im too old for them..hehe

[Minx2012]

The question is..why would you EVEN entertain them ( as in go out on a date with them from the details you gave us ) in the first place, if they are not the type of men you want to attract? You create your own circumstances and I think that if you surround yourself with people your age then you will find that perfect guy.

[jammin_james61]

Just here to say DAYUM.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

I just checked the pics. Very sexy body. I can see why you are getting attention and I can't believe younger guys aren't interested. Intimidated maybe, but I'm pretty sure interested and checking you out.

[galaxy71]

You are going to have limited control over who you get approached by when you play the traditional female role of waiting to get approached by the right guy. Not only that, but you are pretty passive even by traditional standards. You don't flirt. You don't look approachable. You don't put yourself in social situations where guys your age are meeting to look women.

[PrincessBOT]

Thanks for the insight on what may be the case. I have definitely thought similar, like guys my age don't want any part of settling down, they seem to be focused on career and women not woman,1 woman that is Everyone that I know that is getting married were highschool or college sweethearts or met at work soon after graduation and have been together, not meeting at this age. So both of your scenarios are possible

 

 

 

It's hard for me turn the tables and approach them because it is ingrained in my mind that the man finds the women. I also don't want to be rejected and as women I really think I would take it harder and have a longer lasting affect.

 

 

 

I definitely hover over other females most of the time. I have also considered this, do guys want dainty, petite women and look at me like wow she's tall, cute, but too tall. In this day and age I even wonder if they think I might actually be a male...I hate to say it, but I look at some women and think this, lol. Now I don't see myself that way, but maybe some guys do.

 

The older guy issue has no race boundaries, they have been black, white, latino and even indian ( a very americanized indian). The last older guy I dated was 48 years old and white. Less and less with the black guys, I think they like more ample bodies. Nothing wrong with that for women who fit that category and maybe if I was about 3 inches shorter I would but, I don't. Despite 180 lbs I am not thick by any means.

 

 

 

 

Thanks, I'd rather be talked to than checked out. I have had this idea of just saying a quick hi to anyone I happen to make eye contact with. Men and women to be more approachable because I have started to think that my height makes it so that I may seem less approachable then someone shorter and more petite or just has an inviting aura. So I may have break the ice more, not only for dating but just to see what happens, what type of conversations will get started. I tested this last summer and was amazed at the response I get, but it takes a lot energy, that I don't have all the time.

 

 

 

You know you may be on to something here. I don't know how to flirt, I never had to in the past and was fine. I came out of my last relationship and after a few years healing I guess times have changed. I also and really don't put myself out there, but there has been men who get past all of this, as if they understand me or better yet don't judge me before they know me. It didn't work out, but I think that was because I was not ready for anything serious after my last relationship, but I am ready now. As far as the social situations, what would you suggest?

 

Anyone, what do you suggest to do for social situation that increase the chance of meeting guys my age? Thanks

[annie24]

i think you need to send out signals to men you find attractive that you are single and available. you are very attractive, and tall like a professional female basketball player - i think that the average guy would be rather scared to approach you. i think guys with game will go up to you. so you have to do something to indicate to men that you are nice and single. that is, smiling, saying hi, etc... now, you don't necessarily need to go up to a guy and ask him out - but you know, maybe make some eye contact, smile, etc... whatever.

[cursedgirl]

Ii dont think they are "scared" to approach the OP..they probably think "she is sexy yeah.but she's also as big as me.while there are many smaller girls that are equally sexy,I might be better off being with them".

To those guys she's something that is good to just look at but is not necessary to be with.

[Lowconfidence]

I definitely hover over other females most of the time. I have also considered this' date=' do guys want dainty, petite women and look at me like wow she's tall, cute, but too tall. In this day and age I even wonder if they think I might actually be a male...I hate to say it, but I look at some women and think this, lol. Now I don't see myself that way, but maybe some guys do. [/b']

Anyone, what do you suggest to do for social situation that increase the chance of meeting guys my age? Thanks[/b]

 

IMHO, I think most guys prefer women who are a bit shorter than themselves. Your height(which you can't do anything about) and weight probably intimidates men to approach you. I've seen your pictures and must say you don't like 180 and you do look sexy but I do believe taller/fuller figured women will have less men approaching them. It's like short guys having it tougher for women to be attracted to them.

 

I might have missed this but which State are you from? And are the majority of older guys approaching you as tall or taller than you?

[PrincessBOT]

IMHO, I think most guys prefer women who are a bit shorter than themselves. Your height(which you can't do anything about) and weight probably intimidates men to approach you. I've seen your pictures and must say you don't like 180 and you do look sexy but I do believe taller/fuller figured women will have less men approaching them. It's like short guys having it tougher for women to be attracted to them.

 

I might have missed this but which State are you from? And are the majority of older guys approaching you as tall or taller than you?

 

 

I prefer not to say my state, while I have had the occasional shorter guy who like tall women, but most of the older men have been taller than me by at least 3 inches only 2 I can recall were around my height.

[PrincessBOT]

So the new older man that I met a week or so ago won't tell me his age. What do you think of a man that won't tell his age? Really guys, does it matter?

 

It was a big turn off for me? It's like he wants to block my ability to make a decision with all of the info, except what he choses to give me about himself. Is that smart or showing low self-esteem?

[annie24]

I'm distrustful of people who won't give basic information like that. i don't remember with whom, but we were having a discussion over this. oh yes, i remember now. he's much older than the person he is dating, and he didn't give his real age at first, and then his partner found out and got mad for him hiding the truth. if age doesn't matter, then why not just state the number?

 

my friend looks exceptionally good for his age (thanks to diet and exercise). it's like this - i know people who are 50 and are very active and good looking and always the life of the party - and others who are 50 and OLD. state of mind and body is very important. but still, i just want to know the number.