do you think there is something there between us?

[ned2010]

im battling alot of confusion right now, i wake up in the morning running it over in my head

 

i met my ex years ago, we met online, we started off just texting and i had no idea what she looked like and after a while i got a pik of her and we started talking over the fone and she gained a crush on me, but i was very confused as i had just got out of another relationship so wasnt in the right frame of mind, and things happened and after a while i fell out with her and she seemed to be very hurt and upset saying she wanted to be with me and no one else, and she claims to this day i really hurt her back then

 

so we had a bad fall out, and we went through stages of hating each other and then after a while out the blue started talking again and getting on very well, then we fell out again for a few months, and this happened over and over for 2 or 3 years

 

then last year me and her had both came out of a relationship and i said lets meet, and she said like a date? i said well yeah, she got very excited, and we met and i felt we had a very nice day, we kissed and cuddled and sweet gestures and i actaly fell for her big time, i asked her to be my gf and she said yes very happy, then 2 days later she went very funny and distant and tried to start an argument and then said right thats it we are over, and i felt that was so strange that she did that so i made a fuss to find out what went wrong, she came up with excuses like you live to far away for a relationship and that she still loved her ex or something like that, so i made attempts to get her back and she started getting nasty and careless, then i gave up, she made an effort to talk to me in a kinda im still here sorta way, but i knew she was getting to know other guys, so i made a fuss and she told me to move on as she didnt want me, then she got jealous knowing i was talking to other girls and in the end i couldnt take anymore hurt and moved on

 

5 months later we got talking by accident and i had missed her so i was talking to her nice, and she was talking nice back like she secretly had missed me and we spoke more and more and played it cool, till i said one day could we meet? she asked why? i said to talk about things in the past, she said if you come down you can take me to cinema and stay the weekend, i said oh ehh.. if you want, she said i do want that so we actally talked alot at that point and she was very into me, even paranoid i didnt want to see her, i had to reasure her i did and from then on we was together a month and then she suprised me by ending our relationship saying she really wasnt happy with a long distance relationship, and after she didnt hold back in flirting with a guy friend of hers, so i made a fuss and sent her some very touching messages, and after a week she said she missed me and wanted to see me again, so i was very happy and we met again for 2 days and it was like we was still together still doing the same thing, but i felt i let her down that day as was so on edge of ruining things that i came accross as abit plain and boring, but she still kissed, cuddled and was all over me, then 2 days later she said she felt she made the right choice ending things and started to force an argument on us and she got very nasty and said some hurtful lies which she didnt seem to care about, and she said she loved some other guy, so i had to get her to be friends with me which seemed to be difficult, and after a few days i asked if she wanted to come down and stay with me for abit as a joke, she said yes if you want me to, i was like huh? really and started to make plans and days later she said she changed her mind and was to scared to do it, so i made a fuss, and she told me to move on as she dont want me

 

is there anything there between us? i dno what it is but something keeps her coming back, but in all honesty she has had looooads of bfs and she seems to end it with them after a period of 2 months, she even admitted she feels its her fault relationships dont work out

[honesttoblog]

I know somewhat know how she's feeling- because unfortunately I acted exactly like her with a guy a while ago. I don't know if this is the same thing for her, but for me I was completely confused about the way I was feeling towards the guy. Part of me really liked him and missed him (we too were long distance), and I would tell him how I was feeling, then however if someone else came along any feelings I had for him just went away, and I would hurt him really badly by admitting I had feelings for someone else. Then when that other person left my life, I'd slowly begin to have feelings for him again. It was like a never ending circle, in the end I realised how badly I was hurting this guy and I've now given him space so he can have time to move on- and I don't think I will ever speak to him again, but it's for the best for him. I completely regret how I acted now because I hurt a really nice guy who loved me. I just thought I'd tell you that to see if you can see what might be going on in her head at all?

Anyway sorry back to your situation, she is obviously scared of commitment. Also I think she is confused about now she's feeling, but she's going about it the wrong way entirely. You must obviously love/ care for her a lot to be able to go back to her after every time she's changed her mind, however the way she's treating you just isn't on at all. You seriously need to reconsider whether this is the right girl for you, and if this whole get together-drop it after a few days thing and then get back together a while after thing is the right thing for you. As the saying goes 'there are plenty more fish in the sea'- stupid saying I know but somewhat true. Hope this has helped at all, and good luck.

[ned2010]

and I don't think I will ever speak to him again, but it's for the best for him. I completely regret how I acted now because I hurt a really nice guy who loved me.

 

why did you let him go if you got a guy that really does care about you

[honesttoblog]

I don't really know to be completely honest. I miss talking to him and I'm so tempted to break N/C but I mucked him around so much and I still don't know how I completely feel towards him, I just don't want to hurt him anymore. But it doesn't really matter about what happened with me it's about how you're feeling, do you really really love this girl and really want to be with her?

[ned2010]

i do yes, she means alot to me

[honesttoblog]

Even if she keeps changing her mind the whole time? She obviously does feel something towards you, but it's whether you can put up with this continuous circle

[SparklyBoots]

Are the other guys long distance too or are they where she lives?

 

How far away do you live?

How old is she?

 

You have never really had the chance to get to know each other on a 'real' basis - if you are very long distance and that is going to stay the same then it would be very difficult to move things along...especially when she does seem so changeable...

[honesttoblog]

I agree with Sparklyboots

[ned2010]

we live an hour by train, and she 18

 

and its hard to explain my feelings for her, but to be honest i keep hoping things will improve

[Ms Darcy]

Everyone who is in an on and off hopes it gets better. You'll stay in this cycle until one of you decides to end that cycle.

[thekid55]

we live an hour by train, and she 18

 

and its hard to explain my feelings for her, but to be honest i keep hoping things will improve

 

She's 18? Forget about it.

 

Girls change so much from 18-25.

[ned2010]

well she is very stubborn, so i dno how to handle a stubborn person in a time like this

[The_Seeker]

She's 18? Forget about it.

 

Girls change so much from 18-25.

 

Depends on the girl. Hehehe!

 

Anyway to the OP, stop contacting her. You're hurting yourself a lot more AND trying to make things work out. There's no point to working things out when someone doesn't want to work things out with you.

[ned2010]

i aint sure if or not my original question was answered? :S

[ned2010]

i have noticed when got together she really made a fuss over me on facebook, but she hasnt done that with any other guys or love interests past or future i wonder what thats about

[honesttoblog]

Okay in answer to your actual question, I think she does have feelings for you yes. However it's whether you can cope with this continual circle you are in with her.

[ned2010]

hmm i know what you mean

[ned2010]

i miss her loads, if she does care she is sure bottling it up very well

[ned2010]

was talking to her on msn, and i told her i had been chilling with a friend at my house, she automaticly went funny and said "good for you" and i said yeah it was fun, and she said "gooood foooorrr yooooouuu"

 

so i changed my name on msn to add colour to it and asked if she could see it, she said "i cant see your name", and followed that with the word "gay" and i said "whose gay?" and she said "you are" and i said "oh well you better turn me straight then " and she said "i have a bf", and i said "oh? who?" and she said "you dont know him" and i said "well least give me a name" and she said "why?" and i said "well if i had a gf im sure id tell you her name" and she said "doesnt matter does it", and i said ok i guess not, and then she gave me a name of a celebrity, and i said what the famous guy? and she said ohh busted

 

she seemed to get abit spiteful after i mentioned about my friend being over she didnt ask if it was a guy or girl

[AlwaysAnxious]

Bro tbh I don't think that she is enjoying your attention right now, If I were you I would go NC. If she has feelings for you she will deff start to wonder where you went, what you are up to, did you find someone else etc. Plus it will give you time to work on yourself.

 

This relationship is starting to sound like one that would never last or stand the test of time. Long distance relationships are hard, and for them to work both sides have to be committed to making it work. I know this from experience, I have just broken up with my ex fiance of 2.5 years. But we did start as a LDR and we would spend every hour that we had talking online and when we did finally meet it was love at first sight. We continued this for about 1 year then I moved accross the country and lived with her for almost 2 years, we were madly in love but the stress of running a business and living together eventually broke us apart. I have learned that when love hits you there will be no second guessing anything, it seems to me you haven't had a chance to fall in love yet because you keep questioning her motives and that in a sense is a bad omen.

 

I would move on you are still young and this girl is to, she might not change for a while and when she realizes what a great guy you are it will be to late because you will be in love with someone else. Go NC and make yourself a great man so that when the right girl comes along you can sweep her off her feet!

 

AA

[thekid55]

That interaciton you had with her is truly a sign of a doormat. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. She doesn't respect you at all right now.

 

She doesn't care if you had a friend over or not.

 

Read some stuff by David DeAngelo about confidence in general. You need some, big time!

[ned2010]

i think the idea was that she was lying about having a bf :s

[Ms Darcy]

I just go the impression that she didn't want you to know who her bf is. It seemed like you were kind of pushing her for more info.

[1guygirl]

i think the idea was that she was lying about having a bf :s

 

yeah i thought that too. it was like she doesnt want the OP to have any kind of life cept to pine for her (possibly?) and so she got abit sarcy with him. she then tried to deal a blow by saying she had a bf (of course the bf has no name and OP wont know him and she suddenly back peddled and claimed it didnt matter blah blah). typical of an immature reaction.

 

i could be wrong however, but thats how i read it.

[ned2010]

yeah was a lie, i must be crazy to feel this way about her