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SparklyBoots

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  • Birthday 07/18/1969

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  1. Hello all! Day 1 Well, really Day 6, but day 1 here! We split in February as he was 'confused' about what he really wanted - things didn't feel right anymore but he didn't know why - he didn't think he could be the person I needed and the relationship had made him into something he wasn't blah blah blah.... We were together for almost two years (live 40 miles aprt so weekends were mainly the only time we had together) and things had been grand for most of that time. I had known him for nearly ten but was married to his friend and nothing had happened until months after I split from my husband... We had a lot of laughs and fun together but for the last few months I had things tough in my life...I got sick and had pleurisy - took me two months to feel well again. During this time I had a miscarriage but hadn't realised I was pregnant before it happened - neither of us wanted kids ( I have two teens) - myDad had an op for an aneurysm and nearly died - my exh was being really awkward about our divorce....all made me not as much fun to be around - I had also gained two stone SO instead of support or talkingabout solutions to problems he walked away. Fast forward one month - we meet up and end up sleeping together - he hasn't been with anyone else as some of his friends told me - he hadn't even told them we had broken up!!! Next morning after having told me that splitting with me was the hardest thing he had ever HAD to do he was cold and said this changed nothing...he couldn't be my friend even just yet as he still wasn't comfortable. He was trying to get back into feeling single and being around me unsettled him too much!!! He had been worried that what happened the night before might have happened and he didn't want it to happen again! Fast forward another month and we are in jokey contact via MySpace, email etc We meet up to try the friends thing by going on a day out to forest assault course...we climbed and goofed around in trees and had a whale of a time...I stayed over at his and we shared a takeaway and a beer and I went willingly to his spare room to sleep.... After that we kept in contact about once or twice a week and arranged to meet up for a beer one friday night...that was when he told me he had started seeing someone else for the past few weeks.... NOw I think I made it easy for him - I never ranted or shouted or blamed him and he knew I was there to be friends. He kept me at a distance though and all the time it was helping him to ove on....I know he missed having company a lot but I was surprised he had got involved with someone else about three months after the split - he had never had a long relationship before ours (most ended 3-6 months) and I guess when you get used to that it is harder to be alone.... Anyways, I wished him all the best but I did lose it a bit. My anger kicked in and I wrote him and told him what a to**er I thought he had been to me when he walked out. I deleted him from Myspace and he then deleted his whole account the next day I told him I needed to decide if he was someone I actually wanted in my life and that I would not be in contact again.... I am not a naturally nasty person and after two weeks I caved - sent a sincere apology and asked if he could forgive me and try friendship again.... He replied almost immediately and said he was very busy and couldn't guarantee regular contact but he would like us to try for friendship. I txted him to suggest coffee for a proper catch up...no response....before I woud have hassled him until he said yes but this time I just left it.... On Saturday I called him - he answered straight away!...the first time we had spoken on the phone since February...and we had a mundane chit chatty convo which I ended rather than him....this made me happy because now I felt ready to do the complete no contact deal. I didn't want to do it when he might be mad at me - now I know he isn't, I feel I can just drop out of his life with no big announcements or no grand gestures. I just won't be the person initiating contact anymore and it feels good already! I know somewhere deep down he still cares forme as he is the type of person who will just ignore folk if he doesn't want to speak to them - which he has done to 99% of his exes.... SO hello everyone. I am ready to join you on this challenge where I hope to come out a stronger much more sorted person. I want to be rid of all the longing and pining and enter the world as a whole person again - I have already lost two and a half stone since February through working out and I feel confident physically again...but emotionally have a bit to go methinks! Good luck to all of you and hold in there - we CAN do this - and come out much brighter happir sparkly people!
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