Did i approach this the wrong way?

[Trek]

So after about 4 weeks of NC, i come to find out a good friend of mine went behind my back and tried to add my ex to facebook so he could try and talk to her for me, just to try and help my situation. I know he wasnt doing it for the wrong reasons, but he kind of screwed over my NC with my ex. I had a very nonchalant e-mail that i was going to send her after the initial 1 month period, but i feel like it wont do me any good now. Anyways, this is how our conversation went earlier today.

 

Her - I'm not trying to be rude, but i would appreciate it if your friends didnt send me requests on facebook. Just letting you know so you could get the word out to whomever sent me a friend request earlier.

 

My phone died right after she sent that message, so a few hours later our conversation went something like this.

 

Me - Hey i just wanted to clear up earlier since my phone died on me and im not sure if you got my message. I'm not trying to have my friends check up on you or anything weird like that. He just knows about what's going on and thought that he could maybe talk to you about it. Didnt really understand that you arent like that, and i had no idea he was doing it in the first place.

 

Her - It's fine, like I said, I was pretty sure you had nothing to do with it. I just don't really know what he would want to talk to me about. I think we've both said what has needed to be said at this current time. I just wanted to make you aware.

 

Me - I agree, i'm sure you know how i feel about everything, but i havent really gone into detail with anyone besides my family and he thought he could help my situation, but i cleared it up with him. Thanks for bringing it to my attention though. He apologizes for bothering you. Anyways, hope everything has been going good for you, and maybe we can talk in the near future under better circumstances.

 

Do you guys think i went about this the right way? It wasnt what i really wanted to say, but my friend who has been in a lot more relationships than i told me to throw things out there like that. What really has me confused is her "current time" statement. She never really told me where she stood after the break up. We said our goodbyes after i hit desperation mode and denied her the friend card, but i took it back the next day and even sent her an e-mail that stated how i accepted the break up but i didnt want things to end this way. Was going good with my NC until this message came along, but im not sure if i handled it properly, im almost afraid she might have taken my last comment the wrong way.

[AutumnBorn]

You did fine. Maybe just a little needy with the "you know how I feel" comment, but not overly so. Don't beat yourself up. Life is hard enough without over analyzing every word you say.

[catfeeder]

You did fine, and I think the "you know how I feel" comment only confirms your confidence in your ability to express yourself on your own behalf.

[Trek]

Thanks guys. There was so much more i wanted to say, but i had my friend with me at the time who was telling me i just need to calm down, and not let my emotions take over or else ill start pushing her in the direction she doesnt want to go. He said to leave it open, make her think about what you said, and how the approach is different from how you would normally have handled it. I'm still hung up on what she meant by "current time". To me it says she wants to talk to me about some things in the future, but she just doesnt know how her or I feel at the moment, and doesnt want things to escalate.