Is my attachment to my dog unhealthy?

[NightLily]

Well to start this out, I am 22 and my dog is 12 so he has been in my life since I was 10. Growing up I had to move every year or so and as a result had no stable relationships outside of the people in my family (there was turmoil and abuse there as well as being void of affection). The few people I have been attached to, in my whole life totaling two, put me through the ringer and treated me horribly. As a result, I genuinely feel like my dog is the only one I can depend on/trust.

 

He is the only one who has really had a relationship with me for any longer than 3 years (and those who have even made it that far are very very few). He has at many points really been all I had. And I will be honest that he is probably the only being on this Earth that I genuinely love.

 

Whenever I even think of him dying I start to cry and it crosses my mind pretty often that he is getting older. I really don't even know how I will cope if or I guess when it happens. It, to me, will feel like my entire family just dropped dead. I have cried over it a lot already and it hasn't even happened.

 

I really do think that he is the only one that cares for me in a true way. And he is the only being I feel any real connection to. I can't change my feelings for him so I just don't know what to do.

 

Has anybody else ever felt this way? Is this a problem?

[abitbroken]

I do not think you are too attached to your dog, especially if you originally got him during childhood/teenage hood. I was absolutely devastated when my childhood dog died. My brother and I referred to her as "our sister" when we were kids as silly as it may sound. The only advice I would give is focus on what you have. Don't dwell on death, because who knows - your dog could live 5 more months, or even 5-6 more years depending on breed, size and health.

[Mercurial Girl]

I really don't feel that this is a problem, unless your dog is somehow holding you back from working on your trust issues and attempting relationships in the future.

 

Your dog is the only thing/person in your life who will truly love you unconditionally. It is a different sort of love that we get from intimate relationships, friendships, and even family. Family relationships aren't even unconditional...not that that is a bad thing really, we all have a breaking point. I would think you'd find it very difficult for your pet to reach his breaking point to the point where he no longer loves you (more difficult, IMO than say your mother and father). You really can count on being able to trust that your dog is going to always love you, no matter what. That is difficult, perhaps impossible, to find with people.

[NightLily]

I guess it is possible he will live a lot longer.. he is in general good health (border collie) but has some hip pain.

 

But even if it is in 4 years.. sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is him. There is a whole lot of life to live out there but a large part of me hopes I die when he does.

 

It isn't even just about love.. my dog is the only one I ever "miss". Seriously I would be 30x more sad if my dog died than anybody in my family. I don't even know.. how much I would care. ..

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sounds like your attachment to your dog is quite normal. Dogs give unconditional love and that creates such a tremendous bond between the person and the dog. Try not to dwell on the inevitable. When the time comes you will grieve..and then eventually you might want to get a new dog and create a new bond.

[NightLily]

Sounds like your attachment to your dog is quite normal. Dogs give unconditional love and that creates such a tremendous bond between the person and the dog. Try not to dwell on the inevitable. When the time comes you will grieve..and then eventually you might want to get a new dog and create a new bond.

 

O.O I don't know if I could ever get another dog... I would be sad every day I looked at it remembering my dog hmm.

[journeynow]

Your feelings are very understandable. Dogs offer so much unconditional love, and losing them can be hard. There are groups or people who offer support for pet bereavement, and maybe getting in touch with them now will give you some resources for later. Around here I think veterinarians or pet cemeteries have information on who to contact. Even befriending someone who also has an aging dog can help now.

[NightLily]

Your feelings are very understandable. Dogs offer so much unconditional love, and losing them can be hard. There are groups or people who offer support for pet bereavement, and maybe getting in touch with them now will give you some resources for later. Around here I think veterinarians or pet cemeteries have information on who to contact. Even befriending someone who also has an aging dog can help now.

 

 

Thank you.. that is a good idea. It is difficult to discuss..

[sidehop]

I feared of my dog's death for many years, she was the very first dog I ever had in my life so we got very close. Sounds like he has a best friend too though. I just regret not haven't had the time to spend time with her while I was in school, etc. Guess I can only say there's nothing wrong with the attachment, give your friend the best life he can have

[SilverManic]

Perfectly normal. My dog is like my child. I waited 12 years to have another dog after my childhood one as my grandparents wouldn't let me keep her when I moved back with them (I was fostered) I was devistated. It took me a long time to recover.

[NightLily]

Aww... I am sorry to hear of your loss. Literally if a man I loved proposed to me and said the only condition was that I got rid of my dog.. there would be NO WAY. lol

 

Between dog and potential husband, in the respect, dog comes first

 

(I already committed to him for life)