Can anyone beat this for pathetic-ness??

[f1r3f1y3]

So soon-to-be-ex wife that cheated on me was coming over to pickup the car.

 

I allow her to use it when she has our son at weekends. She just takes it from the drive and drops it off again so we avoid seeing each other.

 

Today I really wanted to talk to her. She hasn't made contact for 5 full days, extremely unusual and I'm trying to figure out if she has just accepted that it's over or she is playing mind games, that she is so good at. I know it's all ego crap, why am I even trying to figure this out. I am doing fine without her.

 

This is the PATHETIC part. I can barely even say it. I took the child seat out the back of the car so she'd have to knock on the door. I then took a shower and put on a shirt and tie. I was going to pretend I was going out or something?! that i still had a life of some kind I guess.

 

Needless to say, the next time I glanced out, the car was gone and I was left standing there like a proper idiot.

 

Had to post this, as I can't possibly tell my real friends.

[lavenderdove]

Yeah, we've all had those moments.

 

I once was totally in love with a guy who just wouldn't commit to me or spend all that much time with me... he was very much in the 'take it or leave it' mode, where i just had to accept that and never expect more or else.

 

I made so many changes in my life trying to be with him, including uprooting myself and moving to be closer to him, only to wake up and realize i was in a place i hated, in a house i hated, alone most of the time because i loved him so much i couldn't let go of a guy who treated me badly. I felt so stupid when i realized it was all a waste of time and effort and money, for someone who didn't care that much..

 

So we've all had those moments when we feel pathetic because our love for them drives us to do silly things in hopes of getting the love we want.

 

Just try to laugh as yourself and recognize that as they say, the best laid plans often go astray. It happens to all of us.

[I_Speak_Jive]

Dude that's not pathetic -- she cheated, that's pathetic. You took a shower and put on a tie because you wanted to show her -- and yourself -- that you are not going to bundle up in a smelly quivering heap of unshaven flesh and wallow in self-pity.

 

So maybe you didn't have anywhere to go. But you could have

 

I, quite frankly, don't take crap from guys. I may take it to the extreme sometimes, but I am fiercely independent, don't play games with people and refuse to play ball when people start with so much as a hint of drama. BUT there was this one guy...

 

Pathetic cannot begin to describe me back then. In a particularly memorable night after he dumped me, I got drunk on cheap becherovka, rode a night bus for 45 minutes to his place, knocked at his door and, when he opened, I gave him a hug and I told him I missed him. He told me to go away and I cried all the way back on the night bus, me, who hadn't shed a tear for anyone since I was a little kid.

 

I still cringe when I think about that. What was I thinking would happen? That he would take a look at my utterly depressed, sleep-deprived, tear-soaked face and tell me I was worthy and loveable? Ugh.

 

It's just what you do when you are in love and left behind.

 

We've all been there

[lostandhurt]

Your are right about the ego thing. Look at it this way. It was probably better that she did just take off without seeing you. Your expectations of how she would think or react would not have been fulfilled and then you would feel worse.

 

Like Lavender stated we all have done dumb stuff but we need to learn from it and forgive ourselves.

How about this: Instead of pretending you have a life without her, actually get that life going. Who cares what your selfish ex thinks anyways.

 

Lost

[f1r3f1y3]

I_Speak_Jive: I did something similar years and years ago. ONCE! Previous relationship, can't believe how stupidly I handled that. Live and learn.

 

After she cheated, it was me who left her behind. She chased me. Then suddenly it all went quiet for a few days, so that's why I did it. I suppose she has accepted it's over and that hurts a bit, even although I would never go back to her.

 

It was easier on my ego when she chased me

[f1r3f1y3]

P.S. I got invited on a date tonight! I turned it down cause I am not even remotely ready.

 

Tomorrow night is out with the boys though!

[f1r3f1y3]

She text me last night saying she missed me. I said "I know girl, that's how it works I'm afriad" and that was that.

 

So I got my ego boost in the end

 

I was out on the motorbike yesterday and could not stop looking at every black car to see if it was her. Like it would matter if it was

[Ms Darcy]

Yeah, ego boost for now until she bangs another guy. Don't forget that she's a cheater.

[f1r3f1y3]

She probably already has!

 

I'll never forget what she did, or more accurately, who she is.

[lavenderdove]

The best advice i can give for someone involved with a cheater is to cut your losses and don't look back.

 

why should your ego be hurt when she's just a self-interested person who has no morals or compunction about harming the person she should be closest to? Why does your ego need stroking over such a person...

 

Take your good self elsewhere, and parade it in front of some GOOD women who are worth the time and effort. Quit throwing your pearls before swine, and don't waste any precious time or effort taunting the pig...