How can I let her go

[Double D]

How do people do no contact. I can't help but wanting to talk to my ex. I always check my phones to see if she called. We still talk and have good conversations. She dumped me but she seems to still want to talk to me. Does she want me back? I don't want to blow it if she does. I'm trying not to contact her but it is absolutely killing me. How can you all be so cold to your ex. We don't hate each other, and I can't seem to be angry at her. I just want her back so bad. I just want her back.

[AN2004]

Its tough but you have to do it. I am in the same situation as you. I have good talks with the ex and it tears me up for a couple days. The periods that I dont talk to her, I feel so much better. Everytime I see her or talk to her just kills me. So really listen to people on here (I try) and do the NC thing. It will help you get better

[adidas7fire]

I've been there, done that. The best thing to do is let yourself heal. I know you've heard it time and time again but it really does help if you don't sit around and wait to see if she calls.. that will only drive you crazy. Hang out with friends, do things that you want to do, hobbies, etc... just don't sit back and wonder if it was something that you did wrong. That was my biggest mistake so I am making you aware of that now. If she does want to remain friends, then great but make sure that you both are on the same page as far as the "relationship" goes. Also, don't let her see that it's killing you inside -- show that the situation doesn't bother you. It will be tough but in the end, you'll see why. Like the saying goes, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Good luck and hope this helps!

[smiles314]

Hi. I was in the same boat as you. And you know I could never not talk to my ex bf. Well two years passed, and just a lot of emotional b.s. continued-- in the end it just hurt me so much more and he used me big time. I wish to god I'd just stop talking to him after the intial breakup.. BUt now I have saved whatver was left of my dignity and i'm happy to say today is the 7th week since i have spoken to him.. I had to block him, otherwise i would not have been strong enough to not respond to him online. So now I feel a whole lot stronger than ever before, and there are times that really suck and you wish things weren't like this but what keeps me going is knowing that if i made it this far, i can keep it up. Honestly, if he cares he'd find a way to reach me but instead he has someone else. So Yes....i do recommend you NCing now. The quicker you start, the better it will be in the end. It sucks, but you can do if i can...

 

gl

[djnibs]

My ex just broke up with me a week ago. Its hard to not talk with her (seeing as how we are still living together for a couple more days till we move out). She wants to remain friends and see what happens from there. She doesn't know if she wants to get back together or not, but judging by body language, she does. I would say go out do stuff. It doesn't matter what. Don't be alone. When i am alone, all i do is worry. When i am with friends, my problems go away and i can enjoy myself. I don't believe in nc. Thats stupid. you can still have a relationship with your ex if your both mature enough to know the boundries........ good luck and we can be strong together.

[Hannibal]

I think that if you and your ex weren't friends before the relationship there really isnt any hope for a friendship after.

 

I am a big advocate for NC. It helps so much, even if they're on your mind allll the friking time. Not being able to see hear or touch them makes them kind of seem unreal. Its very helpful to heal having your ex out of your life. As is stated so much about NC is that if your ex can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and call you then why the hell would you want them in your life?

 

NC is pretty hard at first but after about 3 days it becomes easier and easier to not pick up the phone or click on the their sign in name.

 

So just give'r. Good luck.

[Double D]

I just want to have her back and I want to know if she feels the same way. When we do talk she always asks what I'm doing and who I'm with. It's like she's looking for a reason to be angry with me. She dumped me because she says she could not trust me because I have to travel a lot. I really don't travel that often, just a few nights a week. I'm afraid to ask her if she wants to try and work things out again because she might say no. She says she isn't seeing anybody, but has been busy working. When I do call, she calls right back. What do you think I should do? Should I just be straigh forward with her, or should I just go with the flow. I'm afraid if I don't get her back, she is going to find someone else. I know I won't be able to handle that. Even if I do NC with her, I still have to see her on Sundays at church. What should I do?

[Screamindemonuk]

Looks like I'm gonna have to use the no contact rule. I split up with a girl a couple of weeks ago. It upset me but was getting on with my life okay. Then I saw her out last night with some other men and it shattered me. I now feel really bad. She still texts me and i have been replying but suppose I'm only fooling myself that we will get back together. I think no contact is gonna be the way forward.

[das420]

I am in the same boat. My ex of 2 1/2 years (live in for 11 months) dumped me, but she says we are on a "break" and she still loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I too want to get her back so bad. She started dating me right out of high school, and now she wants to have space and time to be on her own. (could be the truth or could be female speak for "I don't want you anymore, but I don't have the heart to tell you that straight up"). We still have contact and are occasionaly physical. Way too confusing for me. Part of me thinks that she just wants to catch up with her old girlfriends (which I always said to her when we were together "call your friends" and she'd say ""i only want to be with you), but the other part of me thinks she wants to see if she can find someone else better than me. i feel like I'm Plan B.

 

I am trying NC I will go two or three days, and then she'll call. I then become excited and call her back, but when I do she is busy with her buddies. I feel like I can only talk to her on her time, can only see her on her time, etc. This hurts very bad because I changed my life completely for this girl. I used to be into drinking and drugs, and I stopped totaly except for the occasional drink. Then she throws me away like the trash on Thursday to hang out in a small town with the same day in day out drama that has occurred for years. AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Blue Skittles]

This is a great topic - I've learned a lot about NC just from u guys. I also am having a hard time with it but I realize that it is necessary so that I can move on and be happy. I think it helps to go out with friends, and to just try to be away from home as much as possible for the first bit - u know that even if they did try to call you, you would have never got their call anyways cuz u are never home. It also makes time go by faster, and you realize how much fun you can have without them. Even if your friends are busy there are lots of things you can do at night - like go for walks and go catch a movie, join an art class, or a dance class. It really is up to you.

I been 5 days no contact. every day gets easier.