Hiking trip with the boyfriend...anxious!!

[Daligal83]

So we're going as a big "couples" to go hiking in a couple weekends. This is serious hiking. All I've done are trails with clear pathways and no difficulty except for some inclines. But never anything that difficult where you need footholds or anything.

 

So the hikes that we can go on, much more intense. I'm terrified of heights. I'm terrified of slipping and falling on the mountain. My boyfriend knows this and had picked a super "easy" trail to do. I appreciate that, but I'm still kind of freaking out. I know I have to just push myself to do it. I give into my anxiety WAY too easily. But I'm having trouble calming my mind down about this and I don't want to ruin the trip for him.

 

I don't know what advice can really be given for this. I just needed to vent/need some emotional support lol.

[Clarity]

Look at it this way: you'll be scared, he'll be there for you - what a great bonding experience

 

Have a wonderful time!

[oldenoughtoknow]

Has your BF ever seen you on a difficult trail, or in a situation where your fear of heights has gotten to you? Irrational fears are just that...irrational. And if he doesn't have such a fear, it will be hard for him to gauge what may freak you out and what won't. I've had a few friends with a fear of heights, and each had a different level of what bothered them. I think if he knows first hand what level scares you, then he will know if this will be a good trip for you or not.

[AndiD]

I don't think they'd be calling it a hike if it involved mountain climbing...I suspect you'll end up having worried for nothing. Do you know what trail?

[perplunk]

That's so cool. You'll learn a lot about each other and yourself. It sounds like this is a big deal for you and not for him, so maybe to drive the point home for him, explain to him that you appreciate him being there for you and give him an idea of how you calm yourself down (e.g. deep breathing, making corny jokes, etc...). Could help him understand if/when things get a little rough.

 

I have a friend whose girlfriend seems reluctant to try sporty or outdoorsy things in front of him. I really don't think he would make fun of her or think poorly of her for it so she really has nothing to worry about. Everyone goes at their own pace. He would really like it if she tried some of the things he likes to do. Everyone likes to share their passion.

[sophie274]

Dali, I don't know how serious your fear of heights is - but generally, any trail that's labeled as a "hiking" trail shouldn't need any footholds or really have any danger at all of you falling off the side of the mountain. I go hiking and backpacking fairly often and can count on one hand the number of times I've felt afraid - and one of those times was because a bunch of snow hadn't melted yet.

 

Does your boyfriend have a trail guide to the trail you're going on? If not, I think you should buy it and read up on the trail you're going to hike. Trail guides are very very detailed descriptions of trails, so if there's anything in the least bit dangerous or scary it WILL be mentioned in the trail guide. That should give you a lot of information on what to expect, and would hopefully reassure you.

 

(Trail guides can be hard to find - sometimes you have to order them from the ranger authority that patrols the area, sometimes local outdoors shops have guides to popular trails as well. If you tell me what trail/area I could help you find one as well, as I've spent some hours looking for trail guides online).

[Daligal83]

It's the Cascade trail in the Adirondack Mountains. No, it's not like mountain climbing...but it's much more intense than anything I've ever done. My anxiety about certain things can paralyze me at times, especially if I feel like my safety is at risk. I mean I know kids under 10 do this hike so I should just suck it up, but I can't help feeling so anxious. My boyfriend has been very understanding about it (he'd prefer to do a much more difficult hike), but I think I'm starting to annoy him with this whole thing.

 

I'm definitely going...I'm financially obligated. I'll just probably freak out until I'm back safely in the house that we rented lol. I hope you guys are right and this turns into a great bonding experience. And that I don't fall to my death haha (joking...)

[sophie274]

Hey Dali,

 

I've never been on that trail, but I did a quick google and found this:

The entire hike is in a wooden trail except for the last � km, which is on bare rock.

 

So at least for the most part you'll be hiking through the woods, so you won't have to worry about scrambling over rocks or being scared of heights, as you won't be seeing anything. That also means that the trail will be man-made, and likely won't have any REALLY steep parts, since there will probably be switchbacks.

 

Bare rock: it will be exposed, but you will probably not be scrambling among rocks/boulders. You should not be in any situation where you'd be worried about falling!

 

Since your boyfriend is an avid hiker, he may have the Adirondacks Hiking Guide, which sounds like the most common trail guide. Given where you live, it might easily be available for purchase too. Ok - enough of my push for the trail guide!

 

I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend is losing patience - he probably cannot relate and cannot quite understand what you are worried about. Someone who hikes often and seriously may have trouble understanding why you are worried about a relatively easy trail. I hope you don't feel too anxious, because I don't think you have much reason to be.

 

I'm sorry to hear that the

[Daligal83]

Yea I've done some research and it is man made. One site said there are stone stairways put there to help protect the trail since this is one of the more popular ones. I have my health on my side. I work out a lot so I feel more capable of my physical ability to do this than my mental ability haha. Going down the mountain scares me more than going up.

 

He has anxiety but more in social situations than this kind of irrational fears. I have it about a lot of stuff and I know it's ridiculous. I'm trying to look at this trip as a way to push past my fears. I know I'll feel good about it at the end, it's just the anticipation.

 

Thanks for the help

[AndiD]

Oh, I was so hoping you were going to say something like the Smokies so I could be all comforting. But I've never been on that trail or in those mountains, so I can't say much. I'm scared of heights as well. We went hiking years ago out in California, can't remember the mountains. I was terrified, but made myself do it, in particular this one area that was bare stone and going high up and all that. It was really a fantastic experience once I made myself do it.

 

If its any consolation, the trail reviews I found for the trail confirm that its an easy one.

[Daligal83]

Yea that's what I found too. I'm glad to hear that you have the same fear though and you were able to do it and enjoy it. I've done a few hikes in California, but they were clear paths and didn't go up that high. Nothing like this. I really really enjoyed those though.

 

To give a clue into my anxiety level...I just killed a HUGE HUGE spider via raid in my bathroom and actually cried over it. I've been down the past couple days and I don't know why, so tip of the iceberg kind of thing. But yea, I cried. But it was HUGE.

[AndiD]

We generally put spiders outside, and I'd feel bad if I had to kill one. By "we" I mean my husband puts them outside and I root him on.

 

It really was a huge sense of accomplishment, even though logically I knew I was safe. And the peak you're talking about seems like it can't be too horrid based on what I was reading. Hopefully you'll come back and post that you did it and found it exhilarating and fun. And then your boyfriend will have the fun of saying he told you so. Win/win.

[Daligal83]

Yea I know it'll be worth it. And there is some excitement mixed in with the anxiety. That part comes from the physical challenge. I like that. Just not the mental challenge haha. But hey, I've walked down Mesada (in Israel) and that was the scariest thing I've EVER done...and I'm still here.

 

I live alone, so bugs are dealt with using raid. There's a small spider on my ceiling right now and I'm so freaked out from the monster spider that I don't even care. I only won't kill ladybugs cause I have it in my brain somewhere that it's bad luck haha.

[AndiD]

But hey, I've walked down Mesada (in Israel)

 

Well dang, now I'm jealous.

 

If you can do that, you can do the Cascade thing. Have a wonderful time.

[Daligal83]

It was terrifying. I didn't have to walk up it because a girl on my trip left her camera at the Dead Sea so we went back. But I flipped taking the little car thing up. When we got to the top my friend was like, dude...you can let go of the pole now. I had my eyes closed haha. And while we were at the top I wouldn't even step to the edge to get pictures of the amazing view. I gave my camera to someone else to do it. And on the way down, it was just these "steps" carved in to the side of the mountain with this little tiny red string on the side. I made my friend walk on the outside with me the whole way down. And it was a LONG way down. I was not very brave haha.

[AndiD]

You did it, and therefore you were brave.

[Daligal83]

Thank you Andi

[Blue Skittles]

I'm going to quote Nike and say "Just Do It!"

 

I'm not an athlete by any means, also afraid of heights, and this summer my boyfriends sister had us booked into 3 days of adventure at the park where she works. We went on a difficult hike, an EXTREME downhill bikeride down the mountain (and my brakes were malfunctioning!) and kayaked accross this huge lake.

 

I really had to push myself hard just to keep up with the group, and yeah I was a little slower, and my bf kindly slowed down to stick with me, especially when my brakes quit working, but you know what? It was such a memorable experience and I would totally do it all over again.

 

I'm sure you'll have a great time!

[Daligal83]

I did it!! Some parts were definitely very very scary for me. Like the parts where I had to climb up lots and lots of rock. I'm so glad I did it, but I don't think I'll be doing it again. But definitely worth it.

 

I'm trying to upload a picture from the top of the mountain, but it keeps failing!!

[sophie274]

I did it!! Some parts were definitely very very scary for me. Like the parts where I had to climb up lots and lots of rock. I'm so glad I did it, but I don't think I'll be doing it again. But definitely worth it.

 

I'm trying to upload a picture from the top of the mountain, but it keeps failing!!

 

Yay! I've been waiting for an update, was so curious to know how it went. First of all, CONGRATS! It's awesome to face your fears. Sorry that it was still scary though, that can't have felt great while you were doing it. I bet the view from the top was amazing!