Will you shut up, now?

[stebbinsd]

I am SICK of people suggesting that my girlfriend is a scammer!

 

I now have a way to PROVE that she is not a scammer!

 

Last night (as regulars know, she's in the Philippines, so last night was daytime for her), I asked her if she would be willing to sign something called a "prenuptial agreement." Wikipedia has a good article on it; you'll have to go there yourself, since I can't post links, yet.

 

Please read about prenups. I'll wait. Are you done? Good.

 

Anyway, she agreed (and, enthusiastically so) to sign a prenup when she comes to the U.S.

 

Here is the actual text of the agreement that we will sign when she is here in the U.S. To protect our anonymity, I have replaced our names with hypothetical names.

 

Now that she has promised me a prenup, will THAT shut you up?

[DN]

I doubt that would hold up in court.

[annie24]

I would check the laws where you live, but i think that the best way to do a prenup would be for both of you to hire your own lawyers to look over the agreement before you sign it, to make sure that each person's individual concerns are addressed.

[Fudgie]

I have no clue if she's a "scammer" or not.

 

Having a prenup agreement doesn't really show that she isn't one. She's still getting a nice ride into the US.

 

The true test to see if she sticks around with you once citizenship is achieved. If she doesn't, you'll have your answer.

[jenny_mcs]

Yeah, this is a pretty strange document and would not hold up in court.

[jazzykat]

Woah, why are you so angry?

[HeartGoesOn]

Why do you feel the need to prove to other people, that she's not a scammer?

[Lamour detruit]

Doesn't change anything, no need to be as defensive either because that only makes it seem you're as insecure about it as well since you are so adamant about trying to prove she's good. Sometimes the people involved in the relationship are blind to what truly is going on, while it's clear to the outside world.

[jazzykat]

Erm... okay.. I just read through your other two threads, and no-one at ENA has said that your girlfriend is a scammer?? So I don't really understand where all this hostility is coming from?

[stebbinsd]

I doubt that would hold up in court.

 

And, why not?

[stebbinsd]

Yeah, this is a pretty strange document and would not hold up in court.

 

Prenuptial agreements are upheld CONSISTENTLY.

[annie24]

Prenuptial agreements are upheld CONSISTENTLY.

 

this is not true. especially if the couple has been together for a number of years and/or have had significant financial changes, the judge may not choose to honor the agreement.

 

you should talk to a lawyer.

[stebbinsd]

Actually ones like you propose are not:

 

link removed

 

I'm not regulating child support and custody issues!

 

All I'm not allowed to do is put the same cap on child support and custody that I am putting on alimony and child support.

 

The latter can INFLUENCE the former; it just doesn't work the other way around.

 

I can be charged a million dollars for child support, and THAT wouldn't have a cap. But, child support CAN influence alimony.

[stebbinsd]

this is not true. especially if the couple has been together for a number of years and/or have had significant financial changes, the judge may not choose to honor the agreement.

Show me an example of a prenuptial agreement that was enforceable when it was first executed, but due to one of those reasons, it was invalid at the actual time of divorce.

 

Show me.

[DN]

From your proposed pre-nup:

 

Child support shall subtract from the assets to be taken, dollar for dollar. For example, if $500 in child support per month is required for a twelve-year-old child, therefore, requiring $36,000 in total child support, the party who possesses fault shall receive no more than $18,000 in assets.

 

If the parent who receives custody of any children (the “custody parent” refuses to honor the visitation rights of the non-custody parent, then the custody parent agrees to pay the litigation expenses incurred by the non-custody parent's legal action in order to enforce his or her visitation rights.

link removed

 

(1) Do not raise issues about children. Premarital agreements cannot make decisions about children. For instance, child support, legal decisions for children, etc. Any statements made about children are easily stricken, and sometimes raise an eyebrow in the judge's mind that this is a voidable contract.

[stebbinsd]

I am not making any decisions about children. I am providing for the decisions that ARE made about children to influence the decisions that I DO have the power to make!

 

I already told you that!

[DN]

Read what it says.

[annie24]

Show me an example of a prenuptial agreement that was enforceable when it was first executed, but due to one of those reasons, it was invalid at the actual time of divorce.

 

Show me.

 

Here you go:

 

the deepest pocket pays

 

Even with a seemingly ironclad prenuptial agreement, delays in completing the divorce proceedings and other unexpected judicial decisions can really be a cause for financial pain. Take the 2006 Ohio Cangemi v. Cangemi case:

 

At the time of their marriage in 1996, Mr. Cangemi had a net worth of over $8 million, compared to the wife’s small $33,000. A very definitive and mutually agreed upon prenuptial agreement provided that in the event of a divorce, Mrs. Cangemi would receive $5,000/mo. for 12 months. Six years after she filed for divorce, the 12-month period started. However, during the six years of divorce proceedings, the wealthier party shelled out $6,000/mo. and paid $15,000 in her link removed per court order -- the grand total was close to $450,000. Apart from the gross difference in the amount paid versus the amount stipulated in the prenuptial agreement, how can there be six years of complex proceedings with a black-and-white business agreement in hand? The judges involved provided a very detailed account of the case and referenced very established case-law scenarios and even the prenuptial agreement itself when ordering the temporary support arrangement. A big portion of the decision was also related to the link removed of each of the parties. Since Mr. Cangemi had the means to provide such temporary support, he was ordered by the court to do so.

 

this is from : link removed

[annie24]

here are more articles on prenups:

 

link removed

 

 

• A written agreement Oral agreements are not recognized in most divorce courts. The prenuptial agreement will likely be dismissed if it's too informal or isn't notarized.
  
• Voluntary by both parties If a prenuptial agreement shows that one party coerced the other into signing, the divorce court may choose not to honor it.
  
• A full and fair disclosure A prenuptial agreement must recognize all the assets of both parties. Concealing debts or assets could lead to a dismissal of the prenup.
  
• Conscionable A court may throw out a prenuptial agreement that calls for excessive penalties or benefits to one party.
  
• Carried out by both partners in front of a public notary While family law lawyers can draft prenups, the future spouses need to sign it.
  

the prenup must list all of her and all of your assets, otherwise it is invalid. you both also have to hire your own lawyers to look it over, or it is invalid.

 

link removed

[greywolf]

OP, I did not see where anyone said she was a scammer, but even if people have, what's in it for them if they did? It's not like anyone here as any issues with you or wants to make your life miserable.

 

And what I'm about to say is probably going to come accross as patronizing, but I'm really just trying to help.

 

This is the second time that I have seen you get really angry over what doesn't seem to be a big deal. Have you considered where all this anger comes from?

 

And honestly, I'm not worried about her being a scammer. What worries me more is that if she does come to the US to live with you, she'll have no idea how to deal with your anger because filipino culture is very non-confrontational.

[annie24]

Child support shall subtract from the assets to be taken, dollar for dollar. For example, if $500 in child support per month is required for a twelve-year-old child, therefore, requiring $36,000 in total child support, the party who possesses fault shall receive no more than $18,000 in assets.

 

i'm not a lawyer, but this doesn't sound right.

 

link removed

 

it sounds like you can't have anything relating to child support or custody in the pre-nup.

[annie24]

PS - I'm very much in favor of prenups. Should I get married, I will insist on one myself. However, just cautioning you that these things have to be written carefully, be done way in advance of the wedding, not have any unreasonable clauses, and you and your bride should have your own lawyers. Even with an iron-clad agreement, if your financial situation changes in the future, the judge may choose not to uphold the agreement.

 

Kids are a total crap shoot because you don't know how many kids you will have, who will be the custodial parent, if the kids have special needs, etc....

[im_the_undead]

WHY do you care whether people think she's a scammer or not?

i'd personally be like F you, idgaf. MY life

[annie24]

WHY do you care whether people think she's a scammer or not?

i'd personally be like F you, idgaf. MY life

 

lol, yes, just like that!!!

 

yeah, i don't see that anyone has called her a scammer.

 

regardless of where she is from, what is her nationality, etc... i would get a pre-nup no matter what.

[im_the_undead]

'sides, when she gets here you guys don't have to RUSH into a marriage,

you can just work on a relationship & see where things go from there ^.^

you must have a positive attitude for things to work.. otherwise you're doomed lol