A year later, rough week

[bro namath]

I haven't posted here in a while, but just stopping by because I'm having a rough week and could use someone to talk to. I've been broken up a year come August (3.5 yr relationship), and since we ended last summer, this time of year - the weather, the sounds, the activities - reminds me of the relationship decline and all the of pain I experienced. So I've been thinking about her a lot -- the break-up in general and all the positive memories.

 

I've used the opportunity to turn my life around significantly which is a positive. And I've been on a few dates this year, but I'm super lonely right now. I miss her or I miss having someone or both...

 

Meanwhile, I know she is still w/ the guy she rebounded with a month after we broke up. He was her ex-bf from before me, who had been waiting around for her and she went back to him... In a way, it's better for me that she admittedly lowered her standards to that loser from her past rather than some new hunk. I'd prob have felt worse if she found someone new. She tried to reconcile w/ me, BEGGED behind his back in November but I told her no because she treated me so harshly and became difficult to trust (rumors she talked to him when we were still together struggling). I went no-contact, and lately she contacts me every couple months about nonsense like her bank account at the bank I work at. I've also been told by someone that she's still "all about me" which was interesting to hear.

 

Even at 11-12 months post-break-up, I'm having the urge to text her or something. I know this is not the best idea and that is why I am here. Somewhere deep down, I know the day will come when I meet a beautiful, emotionally stable, evolved woman, but I haven't had much faith in that this week. Thanks for listening, and any support is appreciated even if you just say Hi. Thanks.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You have been doing well...initiating contact with her will just set you back. Clearly she is not entirely happy otherwise she wouldn't be trying to contact you...but that is her problem not yours.

[Ms Darcy]

Somewhere deep down, I know the day will come when I meet a beautiful, emotionally stable, evolved woman, but I haven't had much faith in that this week.

 

You already have met her. She passes you by every day, but you can't see her because you are stuck thinking of someone from the past.

[bro namath]

You have been doing well...initiating contact with her will just set you back. Clearly she is not entirely happy otherwise she wouldn't be trying to contact you...but that is her problem not yours.

 

Thanks CAB, you're the best. You have helped me alot.

 

You already have met her. She passes you by every day, but you can't see her because you are stuck thinking of someone from the past.

 

Maybe so, but when I'm confident and happy I'm not stuck on her. I've met a few new ppl, but nothing has really developed. I'm still working on a lack of confidence too. It's when things remind me of her and/or I'm down on myself, that I have a tough time with this.

[bro namath]

An additional comment:

I often get complimented a lot on my style and physical fitness, two things that fell into a MAJOR rut when me and the ex were together. Now, sometimes when I know I look awesome on a night out, part of me just wishes she can see me and eat her heart out. And I literally have sour mood/thoughts sometimes that she can't "see me now". What do you make of that, how do I refame those thoughts?

[damnifyoudo]

what about that hottie in the corner thats checking you out ??!? go say hi hahah concentrate on the people that CAN see you now!