what does this mean

[kinetic32]

so my gf and i have been together for 2 years now. its been a long distance. over the years we have seen each other for 4-5 days every other week.. ill go down or she will come up. or we meet half way get a room and anjoy the weekend together. its been very rough.. both of us were in school up until last month.. she finished her masters.. i myself finished about a year ago for paramedic.

we used to talk all the tme.. and up until recently we have the best time togethor... care for each other, do everything, all lovey, cook togethor, great sex, the works..

 

since she has been out of school everything started working against us. we set our sights on moving to charleston sc. i wasnt able to get into the ems system there as of now.. i failed a pre employment test by 2%. heartbreaking.. even if i did she said she wasnt going to move there with me if she isnt working. even though i can take care of her no problems.

she hasnt found a job there either.

 

now heres current situation:

 

over the last month or so we talk less and less, its now a phonecall for about 10-15 min at 1030 at night. she gets out of work at 4.. but she doesnt text or call until 10-1030, she doesnt make time now to come see me. i came down there for the weekend and she still had other stuff going on and we spent maybe a total of 5 hours togethor from thurs-mon. 2 days of that she had to work. other than that.. we had dinner and rented a movie and watched it.... the whole time i felt so disconnected.

 

so i brought up the fact that i sense things are changing. she is just not making any more effort to be in this relationship. i shared my feelings that it hurts, we dont communicate, and she is just not involved in "us" anymore.

 

she refuses to talk about it.. all she does is think im attacking her. she shares no thoughts, feeling or emotions about anything.. i ask if she wants to break up or if she is still in love with me and wants things to work.. she says shes still in love with me. she loves me and cares for me very much and always will.. she says she wants things to work then says she doesnt think that it will work.

 

im so confused on what to do or even think.. the bottom line is... my side: it wont work if you dont communicate with me and put some work and effort into the relationship.

 

her take is: thats who she is who she will always be.. so if i cant handle it i should leave.

 

now she talks to me like nothing is wrong.. we are talking a little more..

 

why is she just disconnecting herself lately?

why wont she talk about it?

why is she telling me shes in love wth me and wants things to work.. then goes and acts like im not important

why wont she share her feelings?

 

i just dont know weather to leave her, support her,

 

i just feel like im on the chopping block i really dont know what to think or feel or even how to act..

 

sorry for the length of this.

[Jd1983]

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now.

 

Perhaps, there's a little more to the story than she leads on? It does seem as though she has semi given up on your relationship.

 

She could also be stressed out right now about the plans for your future. Considering she hasn't found a job as of yet, she may not want to solely depend on you to take care of her.

 

Is there a way that you guys can plan a little getaway together, just to try to get the spark back?

[kinetic32]

anytime I try to get something set up for a weekend togethor.. there always seems to be a reason why she cant.. and it just contributes to me feeling like she doesnt want to be with me.. and i dont know any more to the story.. she doesnt share anything with me.

[catfeeder]

Given her unwillingness to deal with you about this, I would stop making plans with her, pull back and leave her alone. Over time she'll either discover that she misses you--or not. If not, you'll have your answer, and if so, she will certainly let you know.

 

I understand that most people aren't comfortable leaving things alone to settle themselves, but that's what prompts people to press and pressure and pop the thing without ever learning what information they can gain by letting go and observing. Over t.i.m.e.

[kinetic32]

i find it hard to pull back.. im not ready for this to end.. i know in my heart she is the one for me.. i knew it 13 years ago when i first met her.. and finally life worked its way out and after all that waiting our paths crossed again and we fell in love.. now its about to be over.. im trying to hold things togethor.. its sad to say but if i lose her i just lost all faith in love.

[SpottiOtti]

its sad to say but if i lose her i just lost all faith in love.

 

I think my heart broke a little when I read that.

 

Kinetic, you poor thing. I'm so sorry. I hope this works out for you.

 

There is something going on that she's not telling you about. You need to figure out what it is.

[kinetic32]

update: i just text her saying that i want to plan a special weekend for us, that life has not been easy i understand.. but id like to take a weekend and plan a nice B&B, dinner, night walks.. some time for us to get re-acquainted, and forget about things for a couple days and enjoy each other and try to rekindle.