Here we go again

[bungalo]

she left me again. She hasn't slept in a couple of weeks..have been there every step of the way supporting her...she said we were better than ever and then crash....says "something's missing"..but God's sake...Idiot me..I am looking into couples counseling...to try yet again...somebody shoot me

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am sorry to hear you were strung along again. This woman has given you so much grief. She seems very unstable and she is not at all trustworthy anymore. As much as you care about her, let this latest incident be your incentive to cut her out of your life.

[SapphireNoir10]

She is being very unfair and cruel to you. You have been supportive and loving and shes trampled on your heart again.

 

For your sake I suggest you cut all contact and try and move on with your life.

[twomonks]

how about going to counseling just by yourself?

[JoshHimself]

she left me again. She hasn't slept in a couple of weeks..have been there every step of the way supporting her...she said we were better than ever and then crash....says "something's missing"..but God's sake...Idiot me..I am looking into couples counseling...to try yet again...somebody shoot me

 

Quit being so hard on yourself, you love her and you cant help that. I feel for you in so many ways because Im dealing with an unstable, or was dealing with. Things are bad right now, but as good as you've been(read your past post)things will get better. She might be the one for you, or she might not be. I mean she is dealing with things herself, and its not all you. You've done all you can. Whats broken can be fixed, and if not your a great person. Things will get better!

[iBroken]

Hey Bung......

 

Been in your shoes - every time my relationship was "better then ever", it always came crashing down after. This isnt about you or me. This is about her inability to accept a solid relationship right now. Couples counselling wont save you guys if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you or right now.

 

I can tell you this, it never gets better bung. You will always walk on eggshells wondering how long she is around this time and when is she going to leave......

 

You need to stop and look after yourself now friend.....

[Ms Darcy]

Are you going to try to get back with her Bungalo?

[bungalo]

Oh God...I don't even know how I'm going to get through the day at this point

[Ms Darcy]

Definitely take care of you and get some therapy.

[bungalo]

I am in therapy. I am trying

[Ms Darcy]

I recognize that you love her and there is nothing that we can say to change that. I just hope that you get all the support you need to get yourself through this. From what I can recall, the reconciliations between you two seems to get shorter and shorter before she freaks and leaves again. What pain that must put you through.

 

You sound so loving and so willing to work on a relationship. I really do feel like there are so many women who would love that and really appreciate that. Keep taking care of yourself and spend some time thinking of how nice it might be to have a stable love in your life, not the unattainable woman but the straightforward one who is interested in a long-term relationship ... especially women in their 40s.

 

Best of luck on getting through today. One day at a time.

[doiiiieeezie]

I recognize that you love her and there is nothing that we can say to change that. I just hope that you get all the support you need to get yourself through this. From what I can recall, the reconciliations between you two seems to get shorter and shorter before she freaks and leaves again. What pain that must put you through.

 

You sound so loving and so willing to work on a relationship. I really do feel like there are so many women who would love that and really appreciate that. Keep taking care of yourself and spend some time thinking of how nice it might be to have a stable love in your life, not the unattainable woman but the straightforward one who is interested in a long-term relationship ... especially women in their 40s.

 

Best of luck on getting through today. One day at a time.

 

^ To add to this ( I was just thinking of you today and HOPED that you were one of the success stories... I'm sorry that wasn't the case)... unless this woman comes around with two feet fully planted ready to work on a solid relationship with you, then I wouldn't accept table scraps or breadcrumbs.

 

I know you love her, but maybe it's time to let her go?

[bungalo]

Got to let her go it's killing me

[1guygirl]

oh bung...im so sorry to hear that

 

keep with the counselling and i hope she continues with the counselling...it may lead you in diff directions now or may not, but you are one helluva guy and you cannot keep going on like this. you deserve better.

[bish0p2004]

She is being very unfair and cruel to you. You have been supportive and loving and shes trampled on your heart again.

 

I don't think she is being unfair. Personally (and this may come off as rude) I believe that he is being selfish by not recognizing the fact that she does not want to be with him.

 

When she broke up with him, he continually pestered her to take him back. Admittedly, it surprised me when she did and I hoped for the best, but I something told me that this would happen.

 

There is a reason why she continually breaks up with him. He keeps pushing for a reconciliation when she does not want it. She may have taken him back the last time due to guilt (with him continually pushing for it), or not having found a suitable replacement, or hopelessness for the future, etc...however, it's not because she wants to spend the rest of her life with him or because she is in love with him.

 

Anyways, as soon as he posted his last thread about her trying to break up with him again, I knew this was going to happen.

 

YOU CANNOT HELP PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE HELPED.

 

Bungalo, I know you said that this was it this time...mean it. Do it. Walk away and for good. Even if for some reason she decides to come back, don't let her. Let go for good this time.

[missdormat]

im in a relationship for many years and last 8 months are * * * * ....just how do you know you dont love them any more....i just dont know what im feeling at the moment....sorry if this is a pathetic way to start a thread but im just not sure what way to start the ball rolling on the forum..

[John Deere]

Bungalo hope you get a chance to come back and post. It will help some of us who feel shredded that you are making it through a tough stretch.

 

Stay strong brother

[bungalo]

I've been posting like a mad dog lately! I am happy to offer any insight or comiserate with my fellow broken hearted breathren and sisters. Can I get a Halleluia? It is NOT so bad this time..it still sucks...but my heart muscle must be stronger and more resiliant after the beating I've taken..I'm just automatically better with minimal effort-if that makes sense. Realizing...she is toxic...and I am not going to drink from the stinky pond anymore....it's a nasty hang being alone...but I'm the master of my destiny and I will either be happy alone or find a new flame....best Bung

 

To Bishop2004...I didn't really continually pester her for a recon..I kept running into her..and thought I could do a friendship with her...when we met up in April I had next to no hope for a recon, but she was game for it..and I complied...more fool me

[John Deere]

I've been posting like a mad dog lately! I am happy to offer any insight or comiserate with my fellow broken hearted breathren and sisters. Can I get a Halleluia? It is NOT so bad this time..it still sucks...but my heart muscle must be stronger and more resiliant after the beating I've taken..I'm just automatically better with minimal effort-if that makes sense. Realizing...she is toxic...and I am not going to drink from the stinky pond anymore....it's a nasty hang being alone...but I'm the master of my destiny and I will either be happy alone or find a new flame....best Bung

 

 

Bung I think you and i are at a similiar phase. The first time she threw me over I had a physical grief about it. For about a week i wanted to jump in the cold ocean and just let the waves take me wherever. But this time its a minor attack. I am still thinking about her but I am not off-my-rocker sad.

 

We need to remember its not killing us its making us stronger.

 

I am thankful this forum is here to read and also throw some ideas out there. I cant read it too much because it hits close to home. But i know its here when i have moments i dont know where to turn.

 

How could she do this to me? A: very easily lol

[bungalo]

Thanks JD...I feel the same way...I am getting stronger..it's just infuriating when you pin your hopes onto a lasting future together-In my case she said over and over that we were doing sooooo much better this time..

[bungalo]

I don't think she is being unfair. Personally (and this may come off as rude) I believe that he is being selfish by not recognizing the fact that she does not want to be with him.

 

When she broke up with him, he continually pestered her to take him back. Admittedly, it surprised me when she did and I hoped for the best, but I something told me that this would happen.

 

There is a reason why she continually breaks up with him. He keeps pushing for a reconciliation when she does not want it. She may have taken him back the last time due to guilt (with him continually pushing for it), or not having found a suitable replacement, or hopelessness for the future, etc...however, it's not because she wants to spend the rest of her life with him or because she is in love with him.

 

Sorry dude..this is just not a fair synopsis. Unless you call a recon attempt during ONE DINNER where she was in TEARS continually pestering her. I went like 85 days NC...so you are way off the mark buddy

[John Deere]

so much better to her. I am guessing because i dont know her personally but she probably meant that she felt the better part was that she was more in control- and better able to leave.

 

You mentioned the recon. I know what that is, its the hope that you can ease the pain and make it go away. But for her its a game. I realize for myself that i am weak for her and will agree to a recon sooooooooo easily. I need to defend against it. I cant keep going on like this being somebody's game.

[bungalo]

The odd thing is ..I was so strong when we hooked up again..and so independent and living my life and happy..and let her call me, and say the I Love You's before I did...but after about a month I felt like I was playing a game and said f*** it....started calling her more and expressing my affections more...and who the hell knows? Should it really be this complicated and dependent upon push/pull? I think there should be a surrender point (ie where you just say I'm going to stay around with this person. PERIOD. To put it in simple terms...this lady is WISHY WASHY and probably always will be..and I pity the next fool who hooks up with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[John Deere]

she will pull the rug out on you again. We know this right?

 

I know i will get it from my person of interest too. Thats just the way these two are. You look at their history. See some divorces? I see 3 on the woman i "love". Would i be number 4? certainly. Bung you have a chance to be in a solid clinch with somebody. Dont get used to this "excitement". It will ruin you for some woman you should actually be with .

[bungalo]

Oh JD I do not entertain any notions of getting back with her...not this lifetime...and to Bisop2004 I am starting to see why you got the idea I was always pestering her...I am starting to remember running into her at social events and going into automatic pleading mode..so please accept my apologies...I did pester her...but it wasn't pre-meditated...Yeah JD 3 divorces...I myself have 2 under my belt..but I think with a lot of people it's so much easier to run than work on things...but hey if your feelings change-they change...