Lessons you've learned from your break-up

[DeenasRhino]

What are some lessons you've learned from your break-up?

 

I've learned to never pour your heart and soul into someone and in the end lose it all.

 

I've also learned how to be a better boyfriend and very stupid idiotic mistakes that I've made in my past. Thankfully I am still young so I'm glad I learned this now rather than later. However, I'd still love to be with her but that will never happen.

[IvantheAvg]

I've learned to never pour your heart and soul into someone until trust is established.

...Fixed...

[jimbojones100]

Never take what you have for granted. Cause you'll miss it once it's gone.

 

Sometimes things just aren't meant to be even when it seems like they are.

 

Sam Roberts was right when he sings "stay true to your friends, cause they'll save you in the end".

[sunday2010]

That some guys are just pure selfish and don't know what they have.And never will

 

That the person needs to be strong and committed if they want to be with me.

[iBroken]

That once someone cheats on you, your relationship will never be the same - no matter how many times you try

[Little lady]

Love is like sand in your hand the harder you hold onto it the more it slips through your fingers, if you just leave it there palm open it will just sit there.

 

I also learned to let yourself love it is a good thing, but be wise. Love is blind.

 

Don't let yourselves become dependent on each other because it will just ruin you both in the end.

 

Have fun, life isn't too serious.

[Atticus90]

once a cheater always a cheater.. if they can do it once, they can do it again

[Teaday]

I think I've learned the opposite of you, which is to pour a little more of my heart and soul into a relationship. It doesn't do anyone any good to be emotionally closed of from the get-go. Can't build off that, even if you make an attempt to change later on down the line.

 

And I've also learned: Enjoy it and remember that relationships should be fun! Laugh together.

[MrBigShot]

once a cheater always a cheater.. if they can do it once, they can do it again

 

I wish my ex would have realized this. She will learn sooner or later

[jimbojones100]

I think I've learned the opposite of you, which is to pour a little more of my heart and soul into a relationship. It doesn't do anyone any good to be emotionally closed of from the get-go. Can't build off that, even if you make an attempt to change later on down the line.

 

And I've also learned: Enjoy it and remember that relationships should be fun! Laugh together.

 

I couldn't agree more. The thing with love, is it requires us to put our hearts out there. Yes, they will get broken from time to time, but until you do, you can't truly love someone.

 

It's a risk, but it's one we're all willing to take.

[marshmlofluff]

What are some lessons you've learned from your break-up?

 

Mine are here but I think the most important are these:

 

Not to chase after someone who left you. It helps the healing a lot to leave with your self-respect intact.

 

That the fact that someone does not love you really does not really reflect on how good a person you are, or anything else. It just means the two of you weren't a fit.

 

That getting stuck in grief doesn't bring the person back.

 

That doing things like going to the gym, etc. is great and helps--but fundamentally you also have to actively work at not obsessing, and detaching yourself from the person emotionally, otherwise nothing else you do matters.

 

And that although the treatment takes a while, time is a good doctor.

[Carus]

To not 'be there' for the ex, clinging to false hopes and bread crumbs whilst they solidify their new relationship with a significant other (sometimes known as a rebound).....

 

In fact I have my ex to thank for that as she has made me a much stronger Man now*

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Love is like sand in your hand the harder you hold onto it the more it slips through your fingers, if you just leave it there palm open it will just sit there.

Love it....*

 

Ever Forward

K2*

[uncomfynumb]

Not having been through a breakup in a very, very long time and where as was the dumpee, I've learned that the best thing to do is take a big step backwards before acting and/or responding. I don't always have control over my emotions and unleash them before thinking things through. My emotions can cause me to be irrational so I'll remember that in the future.

 

I'm more intune now because of my breakup and that is a very good thing. Though at the time I didn't want my relationship to end, I think it has benefited me.

 

I think my breakup was meant to be.

 

If I'm ever in that place again, I know I will handle things better.

[luckyman]

Right off the back the simplest yet most problematic is that Comunication is key. Always let your partner know how your feeling as well as listening to them, you should be sort of like eachothers diaries, not only does it bring you closer but it also minimizes confusion.

 

Ive also seen how important it is not to suffocate eachother, your two separate beings with two separate lives, its ok for each to hang out with their friends, it shows trust and maturity in a relationship. Plus if you suffocate eachother it seems that usualy it ends in resentment.

 

Another would be to just go with the flow think about today and don't take things so seriously, be happy now, and the rest will work itself out. Thinking about the future and how things are supposed to be just becomes an unnesacary burden, when the time is right it will be evident there is no need to rush.

 

Always be yourself, the should love you for who you are if not its not true love.

 

Lastly ask for space and give space when needed, sometimes a day alone is all you need.

[ramsickle1369]

Not only Trust my instincts, but to ACT on them instead of staying in fear of a loss.

[DeenasRhino]

Just thought I'd bring this thread back up.

 

Been about 6 weeks since my split. I've grown a lot as a person and have learned so many more things now.

 

I've learned how strong I am, especially emotionally.

I've learned never to give complete trust to somebody because it will backfire on you one day.

I've learned to stay away from girls like my ex.

[MalibuOne]

Just thought I'd bring this thread back up.

 

Been about 6 weeks since my split. I've grown a lot as a person and have learned so many more things now.

 

I've learned how strong I am, especially emotionally.

I've learned never to give complete trust to somebody because it will backfire on you one day.

I've learned to stay away from girls like my ex.

Having been through this before, I've learned that I'm not truly healed until I can honestly say I've given up being bitter.

[bungalo]

If they dump you once...they can do it again..easily

If you don't move past the power struggle stage after a year or

so...you'll probably not make it

I can't fix anyone

Some people are not capable of being consistently loving and supportive

just because you have great chemistry and a great connection and great sex it doesn't mean that you'll wind up together

[MsDexter]

I have learned that I will not put a man before everything & everyone in my life.

I will not date another Christian or anyone overly religious for that matter but especially Christian lol (no offence)

[nix192]

Ive learned not to fall for all the lying rubbish im told.Take things slow and not to be rushed into anything.Stop being so nieve your not the love of thier lives or thier soulmate even if they tell you that you are.

[lostnscared]

To be MYSELF and stop trying so hard to please others so much so that I lose myself and what I stand for in the process and therefore the people who care for me never really know me.

To be HONEST--stop lying, holding things back, and let them know how I really feel.

To state my WANTS-stop waiting for things to happen and allowing things to happen.

TO LOVE myself--cannot be with someone unless I love me.

To DEMAND respect--don't allow to be treated any type of way, stand up for myself.

STop being passive--being passive doesn't help a relationship at all, only makes me resentful and destructive.

[brandnewday47]

That communication and listening skills are essential for a healthy and quality relationship. Skills to be able to accomplish this are some of the most important things to have for a lasting partnership.

 

That everyone has their own point of view on things and will see things differently. While it may not seem rational, it makes sense to them and you have to let them do their thing and not fight their decisions, especially if they decide the relationship is no longer worth it and someone else may offer more.

[anu1560]

The first lesson I learnt today is 'never to break NC'. It makes you feel horrible after initial 'no feeling' phase.

 

Other things I have learnt

If you want a Car, don't settle for a bike. You will always resent.

Never forget your freinds and families when you are in a relationship. Don't make one person your centerpoint.

Get over your ex's before you venture into new love. Or else you will keep comparing the new one with old one Which is mostly a disaster recipe.

[ramsickle1369]

I have learned that I will not put a man before everything & everyone in my life.

TOTALLY AGREE! I'd add that I also won't be FRIENDS with someone who does that either.

I will not date another Christian or anyone overly religious for that matter but especially Christian lol (no offence)

My guess is that wasn't a real Christian you were dating. Just one of those people who cavalierly adopt the word to feel better about themselves but then are so selfish and judgmental they negate the meaning of the faith.

Ive learned not to fall for all the lying rubbish im told.Take things slow and not to be rushed into anything.Stop being so nieve your not the love of thier lives or thier soulmate even if they tell you that you are.

I've learned never to ignore my gut feeling/intuition. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck... IT'S A DUCK!

I've learned never to overlook the TINIEST of lies...

[MsDexter]

TOTALLY AGREE! I'd add that I also won't be FRIENDS with someone who does that either.

 

My guess is that wasn't a real Christian you were dating. Just one of those people who cavalierly adopt the word to feel better about themselves but then are so selfish and judgmental they negate the meaning of the faith.

 

Yeah I mean nothing against Christians but personally I will not get involved with one again. Oh and I don't know if he wasn't a real Christian he was a little too over the top with everything.