Family Reunion

[onewithbooks]

Hey all,

 

So tomorrow is a funky day in my family. My cousins are in from out of state and tomorrow is the only time that I can see them. I saw them last in November.

 

If I had my way I wouldn't go. If you think that sounds bad brace yourself. I really don't care a thing about seeing them. The whole thing irritates me. Another cousin is having everyone over at his new house almost an hour away. I haven't seen his new house nor do I really care. I haven't seen this cousin since maybe last July. His brother lives accross town. Each time we see them its all love and kisses blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. But in between times is like our family unit is non existent. Everyone leads there own lives and when we get together its supposed to be this special thing.

 

For years my side of the family has made the effort and now I am sick of it and I refuse to go. I can make a decent reason to not go, and when I said this to Mom, she flipped. She said how she is embarrassed at always having to make excuses for me. For the record, I can think of only 2 times in 30 years when I did not go to a family function, and one of those times I was ill and the other one was last night.

 

I told her how I was tired of always being the one to make the effort and she said when Dad died your cousin (from out of state) was here as fast as she could be. I said yes and where was everyone for all the other hospital visits? I was there for the last two years of her dad being sick and paying for his medicines and supplies.

 

On one had I do feel a little bad for my Mom, but on the other, why do I want to go and sit for seven hours to stare at the faces of the people who on the other 364 days of the year could care less?

 

What are your thoughts?

[newwave]

Personally, I wouldn't go. My family reunion is coming up and even though it's 15 minutes away with a relative I know (my aunt, my dad's sister) I'm not going. First off,my family judges me for being a "spinster" so screw them. I don't care about most of them.

[RedDress]

This is what sisters are for. LOL!

 

I hate these things too and I absolutely refuse to go unless my sister is going. My parents hate that "rule" I have made... but... they just suck. At least if my sister is there, I am guaranteed to have someone to talk to that I enjoy talking to.

 

Also, bring your own car. This way you can arrive late and leave early. I hate being on other people's schedules.

[waveseer]

You could go in the spirit of making your mom happy. Show up with a smile on your face and stick by her side. It's just another opportunity to demonstrate your appreciation and respect to your mom. Nod and smile, nod and smile.

[onewithbooks]

Personally, I wouldn't go. My family reunion is coming up and even though it's 15 minutes away with a relative I know (my aunt, my dad's sister) I'm not going. First off,my family judges me for being a "spinster" so screw them. I don't care about most of them.

 

I am really sorry to hear that you have that conflict with your family. I too would be considered the spinster. Most of my younger cousins are living with their SO's and have their own homes, while I am just now going to be getting my BA and still living with Mom.

 

I dont really so much feel judged as it is I dont want to deal with all the people.

 

This is what sisters are for. LOL!

 

I hate these things too and I absolutely refuse to go unless my sister is going. My parents hate that "rule" I have made... but... they just suck. At least if my sister is there, I am guaranteed to have someone to talk to that I enjoy talking to.

 

Also, bring your own car. This way you can arrive late and leave early. I hate being on other people's schedules.

 

That would amazing to have a sister there, but I have no biological sisters, just one brother who is estranged.

 

Taking my own car could definitely be an option though.

 

You could go in the spirit of making your mom happy. Show up with a smile on your face and stick by her side. It's just another opportunity to demonstrate your appreciation and respect to your mom. Nod and smile, nod and smile.

 

This is true, and I have thought about this. The thing is, that is who I am. The "make people happy" and "placater" and "appeaser" person. I feel like I take on so much for others and I just cant do it anymore. The last couple of times I got together with the family, it was not a lot of fun to be around them. I feel so horrible for saying that, but its true.

 

I love my Mom so much and to say that I cant do this for her feels awful. But I am so sick of being the nice one, the good one, the sweet one. Others in my family do what they want, on their schedule and its Mom and I who bend around them. I am sick of bending. I am sick of our side always having to be the one who compromises.

 

I do realize how petty and childish this must come accross, but in this moment it is genuinely how I feel.

 

I will give what you said some thought and I will sleep on it. Who knows this may all look better in the morning. The idea of hours on end with family may not give me such a big knot in my gut.

[KG]

"You can choose your friends, but not your relatives." Go with your gut......