Lol Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Okay i'm just curious because i've asked some people and their responses were basically they want to keep that contact for "sex" so they can hook up every now and then. My sitiuation: an ex said he "just wants to be friends for right now." If those statements are half true i dont know how that applies to me because we never had sex...so im just curious why do you all think guys OR girls say they just want to be friends after they just broke up with you? Link to comment
littlestar Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Sometimes people like having their exes around as it makes the break up somewhat easier, as if they havent lost them completely, if that makes sense? Or they want to keep you on the back burner so they can reconcile in future if they want to. Link to comment
Lol Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 its just funny to me because they'll say they want to be friends but then they stop contacting you Link to comment
littlestar Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 maybe after they say it they figure it isnt the most clever idea, men can be weird things to understand lol Link to comment
Lol Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 Yea they say the opposite of what they really mean half the time lol Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Sometimes it's to soften the blow and so they don't feel as guilty for breaking up with you. It's always nicer to say "Let's be friends". Link to comment
JusticeLaw9 Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Okay i'm just curious because i've asked some people and their responses were basically they want to keep that contact for "sex" so they can hook up every now and then. My sitiuation: an ex said he "just wants to be friends for right now." If those statements are half true i dont know how that applies to me because we never had sex...so im just curious why do you all think guys OR girls say they just want to be friends after they just broke up with you? Most cases it is for sex, but again, that's not everybody. In your case considering that you haven't had sex before, maybe he really wants to be friends. Why the breakup? Link to comment
glucoze Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 They want you as a back-up plan. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 There are a fair few reasons. Guilt would be a number one for me. I wouldn't want them hurting but in the end.... Regardless if they are your friend or not they are going to hurt once they see you smiling and laughing with another partner. It doesn't soften the blow of the break up but delays the impact of feeling the hurt when they start a new relationship. Another reason could be, they are wanting you there because they know that you are into them still but they have found greener pastures to play in but just in case they find the pasture has poison ivy they can come back to you. The only other reason could be that they really just want to be friends with you. But even then, they should know that would be inconsiderate as they WILL be with someone else. Link to comment
Lol Posted June 5, 2010 Author Share Posted June 5, 2010 He said it wasnt a good time because he just lost someone close and that he wasnt go to be there( in my hometown he was going start living back in his hometown but still going to the same school) Link to comment
Seymore Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Guilt/booty call/keep you on deck. That's my first instinct. Link to comment
StrangeFellow Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 In my experience it's a consolation prize to attempt to lessen and delay of hurt that he/she is putting on you. In my eyes, if 'we should be friends' is a lie, it just sets the dumpee up for more pain when reality kicks in. Sometimes they actually want to be friends, but that can be difficult depending on the situation. Good Luck Link to comment
4answers Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 In a nutshell, before you meet you don’t know each other and don’t have an emotional interest in each other. You meet and have an attraction interest, an emotional interest in getting to know the person, be around the person etc. etc. This is a positive emotional view of the person. If you didn't connect with them you would lose interest and the view would change and you would just be acquaintances. But when you connect you move from acquaintances - to friends -> to lovers... All the while the emotional connection and the value getting stronger... If it works out then marriage. When you end the reverse happens, you move from a strong emotional connection and attachment to a weaker emotional connection and attachment. i.e. Feelings of love --> to feelings of friendship --> to feelings of none interest back to being an acquaintance. So when you end its natural to want to stay friends although this is just a temporary phase of the severing of the emotional attachment with the person..... {Remembering that this is emotional based therefore not rational but an instinctual reaction} I hope this clarifies...... Please let me know if you found this helpful. Link to comment
SurfThyme Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 He wants someone to hang out with, possibly have sex with, until he meets someone new. At least that has been my experience. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 My reason is to keep them as a backup. No, I never done this before. But if I had, this would be my only reason. Link to comment
DeadbySunset Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I always tell my exes that I want to be friends with them, then I end up not talking to them anymore. Its just me being polite but me not wanting anything else from them. When I am done with a person then I am finished. No friends with benefits or anything like that. Link to comment
Longview01 Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 You know Woman do this as well Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 It is literally impossible to have a true friendship with an ex unless both parties do not want to get back together. Link to comment
Yaz Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 When exes say they want to be friend straight after the break up, what they probably mean is "don't say mean things about me." Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 They want you as a back-up plan.Like she said Link to comment
Jen1981 Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Maybe he just wants you to remain a part of his life....don't know if it's guilt or a back-up? He might still love you but is not "in love" anymore? Link to comment
Yaz Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Maybe he just wants you to remain a part of his life....don't know if it's guilt or a back-up? He might still love you but is not "in love" anymore? Classic GIGS. Link to comment
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